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Sorry I don't buy it. Quite the contrary black women value and emulate caucasian aesthetics from their personal investment in the multi billion hair straightening, weave and wig buying, to abusing and adapting their appearence by utilizing skin lighteners. Black men never do any of the above.
Having a white male partner simply makes the fantasy become a full blown reality for them. In their minds, they can not only look like a white woman, but the idea of being his mate becomes the missing piece of the puzzle.
Apparently you have seen many BW/WM couples. The odds of the BW having natural hair is around 75%. Massive genralization here, but BW who are dating WM tend to be LESS LIKELY to adhere to the mass media version of "black culture." AKA hair straightening, weaves and skin lightening.
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Overall, black women are much more heavily invested into eurocentric ideals than black men ever were.
I disagree. Black women (and obviously other ethnic women) have been force fed this image of beauty that looks more eurocentric, and in order to be beautiful, we need to look more white. Men don't have this problem. They can look as "ethnic" as they want. IF they want to elevate their status, they find a white looking black woman, or someone white. It is pretty simple. There is no equivalent trajectory for women (in particular black women, not sure if this is the case for other ethnic groups)
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Your dreaming if you think it plays out any differently. Black women are just as "brainwashed" by observing a lifetime of white males being epitomized as social status sex symbols ("white" knights in shining armor) as any minority male has observed in white women being held up as the most attractive female.
You haven't paid much attention to the stats. Black women are the LEAST likely to consider a mate outside of their ethnic group.
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If anything, from what I've noticed, the black women tend to be more educated, more financially stable, more upwardly mobile and far better looking than their white male counterparts. I hear black women often commenting on some of the white women that some black men date, but I think it's high time someone spoke on the John Goodman's and Peter Griffens that I've witnessed "Halle Berry" walking around with lately as well. Many of you conveniently talk about how good the black female partner looks, but you tend to leave out the issue of to how unattractive their white male counterparts are.
I haven't seen this at all. Every BW/WM couple I have ever met have had people equal in class and social status.
I don't know. I personally haven't witnessed any racism. I'll be the first to tell you I avoid the rough Black neighborhoods in the cities I visit, but I also avoid rough Mexican neighborhoods, rough white trash neighborhoods, etc... You get my drift - I'm just not into "rough" places.
You didn't read my posts on this thread. I'm the one who called bs on the silly theories that bw/wm unions are healthier and better. I also said that bw end up dating white losers that no white woman would want, all in the name of status dating. You are yelling at the wrong person; I am on your side on this specific issue. But because you too are blinded by personal bias, you have not noticed that I agree with you. Instead you have only noticed that I am a black female.
Negative. I was just responding to what you wrote in your post. Nothing more, nothing less.
I don't know. I personally haven't witnessed any racism. I'll be the first to tell you I avoid the rough Black neighborhoods in the cities I visit, but I also avoid rough Mexican neighborhoods, rough white trash neighborhoods, etc... You get my drift - I'm just not into "rough" places.
Well, since some of you think it's racism that some people don't want to date you; perhaps it's also racism to stay away from your rough neighborhoods... Who knows anymore what accusation comes next... That's why I explained my limited exposure.
Well, since some of you think it's racism that some people don't want to date you; perhaps it's also racism to stay away from your rough neighborhoods... Who knows anymore what accusation comes next... That's why I explained my limited exposure.
Who said I lived in a rough neighborhood? You are really jumping to assumptions now. Not every Black person lives in the hood.What you said still has nothing to do with my question. You are just trying to find the perfect opportunity to insult me
Who said I lived in a rough neighborhood? You are really jumping to assumptions now. Not every Black person lives in the hood.What you said still has nothing to do with my question. You are just trying to find the perfect opportunity to insult me
I didn't assume anything. The thing is I've never seen a good homogeneous Black neighborhood, so I avoid the bad ones and I don't have any exposure to them, obviously. Therefore, I've no idea what's going on there. The Black people who live in other neighborhoods (including mine, even though the Black population here is really small) live like everybody else and are treated like everybody else. I do assume they move to different neighborhoods because the educated and successful ones are not that fond of living in their own, though.
Anyway, I don't particularly care about the conversation as it doesn't concern me, so we can stop it right here, if you wish.
Apparently you have seen many BW/WM couples. The odds of the BW having natural hair is around 75%. Massive genralization here, but BW who are dating WM tend to be LESS LIKELY to adhere to the mass media version of "black culture." AKA hair straightening, weaves and skin lightening
I've seen quite a few. And from my experience, with the exception of the liberated college student types, black women in general above the age of 22 or so tend to straighten their hair or wear wigs and weaves regardless of who they date.
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I disagree. Black women (and obviously other ethnic women) have been force fed this image of beauty that looks more eurocentric, and in order to be beautiful, we need to look more white. Men don't have this problem. They can look as "ethnic" as they want. IF they want to elevate their status, they find a white looking black woman, or someone white. It is pretty simple. There is no equivalent trajectory for women (in particular black women, not sure if this is the case for other ethnic groups)
That's fine and and all, but I don't understand how that disputes what I originally stated. Regardless of what image they are fed or ascribe to feed into--they have made the habitual choice to conform white eurocentric beauty standards, black men haven't. And personally I don't understand this idea of men elevating their status by dating "light or white." I honestly believe some black women just use that as an excuse to dmssmiss the concerns of why some of these black men just aren't interested in dating black women any longer. Heck I've even heard white guys agree with black men like that and said that they "understood" why some black men prefer to date interacially. Overall I think it's easier for some BW to make the problem about BM, rather than to choke it up and admit that perhaps there may be some substance to their concerns. I think many are afraid to be honest about that possibility.
Either way, If you believe that black men think in their minds that they are escalating their status by simply dating/mating white and light, then it would only lead one to believe that white men understand that they descalating their status by dating or marrying a black woman.
If men racially value beauty as a status symbol as some of you seem to think--then it's only logical that white men are losing status by going in the opposite direction. All this stuff would work in tandem, not in isolation or a vacuum.
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You haven't paid much attention to the stats. Black women are the LEAST likely to consider a mate outside of their ethnic group
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Um what "stats' are there to substantiate that this is what's going on, other than black female oriented blogs? I personally only hear this reasoning from other black women rather than other white men. I myself think they are the LEAST likely to be chosen which results in less interracial dating and marriage options for them. There are sevel interracial dating studies that have reached the same conclusion. One study even concluded that black women were the most likely to initiate contact with men of other races and as a result, were the least likely to receive responses.
Either way, if we use your very same logic to explain that a racial beauty heirarchy either adds to subtracts value to a man's status; then it's only logical to conclude by your hypothesis that men purposely choose not to date black women in larger quantities because there is no status-value associated with doing so. THat in and of itself would explain why they are in such smaller numbers.
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I haven't seen this at all. Every BW/WM couple I have ever met have had people equal in class and social status
Again, I only hear other black women say this, I've never heard a white guy reiterate this. Nor have I ever heard a white guy talk about dating black women as if it were a social staus improvement to their lives.
From what I've seen the black woman may have an advanced degree and a upwardly mobile job where the white guy is a college drop out and, in between jobs with "potential." Not sure I've ever witnessed a white guy with an advanced degree, high paying job etc etc with a black woman who is the same caliber and I don't think I've EVER witnessed an attractive, accomplished white guy dating a black woman "below" his status. They always seem to "come up" financially when they are in the pairing, whereas the only "come up" the black woman has is that the guy is white. She can dress him up in a suit and "pass" him off to the point where people automatically assume that he's a white guy about something. You''ll even notice the small nuance when you have black women advocating that more black women should "date white" with no emphasis on finding a "good white man." Why? Because it's already been assumed that he is good by his added value of being white. Like I mentioned before, many of these black women want to be seen as white women too. They want to imagine as if they fit right into their shoes and are finally socially acceptable outside the parameters of the black community. It is an opportunity for them in their minds to elevate their social stock, hence why I believe that these white men are viewed as "trophies" as well.
Last edited by itshim; 04-29-2012 at 12:37 AM..
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