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I didn't assume anything. The thing is I've never seen a good homogeneous Black neighborhood, so I avoid the bad ones and I don't have any exposure to them, obviously. Therefore, I've no idea what's going on there. The Black people who live in other neighborhoods (including mine, even though the Black population here is really small) live like everybody else and are treated like everybody else. I do assume they move to different neighborhoods because the educated and successful ones are not that fond of living in their own, though.
Anyway, I don't particularly care about the conversation as it doesn't concern me, so we can stop it right here, if you wish.
Look around a little more. There are quite a few in Atlanta, LA, Prince George County in MD, in Detroit, and even in Oakland, CA -- but in Oakland there are only a couple od black majority neighborhoods and a whole lot of areas that are roughly evenly split white, black, latino, and asian that are good to affluent.
No one ever talks about "diverse" good neighborhoods though.
jade408
I've seen quite a few. And from my experience, with the exception of the liberated college student types, black women in general above the age of 22 or so tend to straighten their hair or wear wigs and weaves regardless of who they date.
Where do you live? There is a generational shift into wearing natural hair. People under 35 -- a LOT of women are wearing natural hair. Actually, in my social circle, it is 65% natural/35% relaxed. I am one of the few still wearing relaxed hair actually. And walking around? I see a lot of natural women. It is very very popular.
As for black women dating out?
Just look at the marriage rates:
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Some 22 percent of black male newlyweds in 2008 married outside their race, compared with just 9 percent of black female newlyweds.
Look around a little more. There are quite a few in Atlanta, LA, Prince George County in MD, in Detroit, and even in Oakland, CA -- but in Oakland there are only a couple od black majority neighborhoods and a whole lot of areas that are roughly evenly split white, black, latino, and asian that are good to affluent.
I'll take your word for it. I haven't moved around the country a lot and when you travel you don't do studies on neighborhoods... You just try to stay out of trouble's way.
Where do you live? There is a generational shift into wearing natural hair. People under 35 -- a LOT of women are wearing natural hair. Actually, in my social circle, it is 65% natural/35% relaxed. I am one of the few still wearing relaxed hair actually. And walking around? I see a lot of natural women. It is very very popular.
As for black women dating out?
Just look at the marriage rates:
Not sure I understand what constitutes a lot. Like I've mentioned before, from my observation some black women go through a phase with it. In high school, they are permed,weaved, and wigged. In college, due to the high cost and tedious nature of hair care, in addition to going through sort of a revolutionary/rebellious stage in their lives (sista soulja books, eryka badu music, and neo-soul-like approach to life)--they experiment with natural styles. However after graduation, when it's time to face the real world--it's back to the same ole same ole. THis occurs around ages 22-25 from what I've seen. At my job, none of them are natural, and in college (undergrad) there were far more that were. However in grad school they were permed,weaved and wigged again.
As for IR dating, all groups have seen an increase. We all have our opinions about why the numbers are what they are, but make note that the smallest pairings involve black women.
I have always found it difficult to relate to this “mindset”.
Why? Well being that you started the thread I will take the time to explain.
I am aware that there are those that primarily like to stick to their “own” and this is great.
However there are a huge, vast amount of us that choose to look beyond all the fluff and stuff and choose to date or to be with others outside of “our” own and this is okay too.
This is not to state that we refute to date one of our “own” it just means “Different strokes for different folks” this does not quantify the entire group.
What it means is that there are many that are attracted to different types racism has nothing to do with it, it merely means that people are attracted to certain attributes be it physical, mental, emotional and whatever other category.
Growing up biracial ( Native american/irish) but adopted to a Mexican family it was expected that I find a good Mexican man and settle down, right?
Wrong. I can recall all throughout grade school and even HS I was never that favorable to Mexican guys, there were a few and I dated 2 but the rest were a mixed bag, asian, pacific islander, African american, Russian, Italian..ect.
For some reason Mexican men in my city were not drawn to me but I never excluded or gave up..I actually did not think about it I was too busy dating the guys that were interested in me.
I married a white man and was married for 10 years, we divorced back in 05. I started dating again in 2010.
I tried online dating and found while the truth of younger years still held true ( That it was mostly white men interested in me) I also had Hispanics after me. I found that my dilemma was not attributed to who I was but where I lived.
All of a sudden I had some not a lot but some Hispanic men wanting to meet me.
And I gave them a chance.
I dated a man whom was half white and half Mexican but was raised Mexican and the only reason it did not work ended up to be because of distance. I have been with new b/f for 6 months now and he is half white and half Mexican and my family is excited and so am I.
I believe that if there is a will there is a way. It has nothing to do with being shunned by your “own” that is silly! You are then labeling a whole group based on a few experiences!!!
I've always been curious about this topic. Have you have ever been rejected by women of your own so many times, that you just decided its not worth it anymore. Growing up, I was attracted to black women, but was constantly rejected. Once I got to college, I just decided i'm done. I basically just stuck with white women because they showed me love. I'm married to a white woman, so I can say my decision paid off. Have you ever been in that situation?
For me its a little different. I live in both a city and state (Orlando, FL) that have majority hispanic populations and I am white there aren't many of my "own" to begin with
That being said, as many times as I have been shut down harshly by latin girls I'm not "tired" of trying to date them for the simple fact that if I stuck to my own, I'd be severely limiting my prospects. My prospects are severely limited as it is though simply because in Orlando single men outnumber single women 4 to 1 and a majority of latin girls only date latin guys or black guys
Once I move back to Las Vegas, that number will change from 6 men per single woman....so I wont be having a girlfriend any time soon
Sorry I don't buy it. Quite the contrary black women value and emulate caucasian aesthetics from their personal investment in the multi billion hair straightening, weave and wig buying, to abusing and adapting their appearence by utilizing skin lighteners.Black men never do any of the above.
Having a white male partner simply makes the fantasy become a full blown reality for them. In their minds, they can not only look like a white woman, but the idea of being his mate becomes the missing piece of the puzzle.
It's true that a lot of black women try to conform to eurocentric standards of beauty by straightening their hair and wearing weaves (I would have to see statistics on skin bleaching among American black women because I highly doubt that happens often). However, I would still argue that most of these black women who are straightening their hair are doing it to attract BLACK men, not white men. Many black men are not accepting of "kinky" natural hair textures and it's also known that many black men have a preference for lighter skinned black women. Therefore, I think it's obvious why some black women might feel that their hair texture or skin color is undesirable when you have not only society and the media indirectly/directly telling you that it is, but you also have the men of your own race indirectly/directly telling you that. Maybe more black men would have a complex about their own skin/hair if black women were constantly oohing and aahing over light skinned black men with processed hair, and the media promoted those particular black men as being the most attractive of their race.
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If anything, from what I've noticed, the black women tend to be more educated, more financially stable, more upwardly mobile and far better looking than their white male counterparts.
Maybe that's true in some cases. I haven't done any research on it or anything, but I know it's not true about the white/non-black men that I date. I'd personally rather be alone than to date a guy who doesn't meet my standards just because he's white.
I have no swag either but I can get certain black women with no problem.
He's targeting the wrong black women.
Most likely he's targetting the self absorbed, I want a thug, shallow black women which is pretty much dumb imo.There's alot of them but there's still attractive, smart and the non typical women out there even though they are rare.
Don't date these I need a street thug women.
They are bad to the bone.
They are so bad they ruin their own lives 9.5/10 and they will ruin 99% of the time ruin yours.
They have a self destructive frame of mind that you can't break them out of and have been brainwashed on what a real man is since the day they were born.
They will go after the false alpha male street thug because thats what they have learned growing up that is what a man is suppose to be.
No matter how much you cry about it or how much logic you try to instill
It won't have any effect.
It's like trying to turn a straight man gay or a gay man straight.
I have had these women nearly ruin mines on several occassions.
Trust me OP if a women rejects you for this reason she did you a favor.
I didn't assume anything. The thing is I've never seen a good homogeneous Black neighborhood, so I avoid the bad ones and I don't have any exposure to them, obviously. Therefore, I've no idea what's going on there. The Black people who live in other neighborhoods (including mine, even though the Black population here is really small) live like everybody else and are treated like everybody else. I do assume they move to different neighborhoods because the educated and successful ones are not that fond of living in their own, though.
Anyway, I don't particularly care about the conversation as it doesn't concern me, so we can stop it right here, if you wish.
You made it about where i live and that other races want to avoid our rough neighborhood presuming I lived in one. You used that opportunity to make racist remarks. It was a very low blow.
One day, when racial ambiguity is the norm worldwide, anthropologists, sociologists, and psychologists will look back on the thinking that produces threads like this with the same kind of horror and morbid fascination with which modern physicians regard the surgical techniques of the Middle Ages.
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Originally Posted by nyanna
Do you know how genetics work? We will never all look the same or be one color. Even in countries where the majority are mixed, you still have some who are much lighter/whiter and others who look darker and more ethnic. And the same racial caste system exists.
Do you know how English works? I didn't say "color." I said "racial ambiguity." There is a difference. Indeed, your inability to separate the two is just another facet of bigotry. Nice work.
If you want to talk about skin tone and how people look, you go right ahead. I am well aware of the potential variety. This thread, however, is about race. If you don't know the difference, and that melanin is not what makes a person claim to be black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Semitic, Eskimo, Native-American, or Martian, maybe you should lay off the Mendel and take a class in comparative race and ethnicity.
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