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It's far, far cheaper to do those things yourself, not to mention healthier and better for the environment in most cases. A frugal person will not want to be with someone who has to hire out his or her share of the work. To some people, that's a very big deal.
Yup. The bottom line is be on the same page. Work together.
Sewing is not as useful a skill as it once was. Making clothes is no longer frugal. But why would you put up with your gf doing that? Sounds pretty ****ty.
I can sew, and it comes in handy. All minor repairs these days of course, but why not spend 10 minute fixing a split seam at a cost of $0.05 instead of trashing a perfectly good pair of pants/taking it somewhere and paying $15.00?
It's far, far cheaper to do those things yourself, not to mention healthier and better for the environment in most cases. A frugal person will not want to be with someone who has to hire out his or her share of the work. To some people, that's a very big deal.
This doesn't address the other half of my point: pool the funds, pool the chores. 50-50. The fact is that most guys can't do home repair work or car servicing, so those things generally do become expenses to the couple's budget. So it's ok for the guy's skills to hire out, but the wife is supposed to cook, clean, grocery shop, and do the dishes? Why is that?
Guys who will forego love and a great match because it doesn't include meal service should recognize that they may have to compromise on other criteria, like personality or frequent sex, in order to get the fabulous cook. Some guys luck out and get the whole package, but there aren't enough of those packages around, who meet all the physical, psychological, sexual and earnings criteria as well as the cooking requirement. Women who can't cook or who choose not to may have to do some compromising, as well. You can't always get everything you want. The easiest way out would be to find a middle ground on the meal service issue.
This doesn't address the other half of my point: pool the funds, pool the chores. 50-50. The fact is that most guys can't do home repair work or car servicing, so those things generally do become expenses to the couple's budget. So it's ok for the guy's skills to hire out, but the wife is supposed to cook, clean, grocery shop, and do the dishes? Why is that?
That's a strawman because I don't think anybody said that (I know I didn't), but I see where you are coming from. I also think it's unfair to compare changing the oil every three months to, say, doing the laundry on a daily basis. Cooking and all it entails, as you say, can be a huge chore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Guys who will forego love and a great match because it doesn't include meal service should recognize that they may have to compromise on other criteria, like personality or frequent sex, in order to get the fabulous cook. Some guys luck out and get the whole package, but there aren't enough of those packages around, who meet all the physical, psychological, sexual and earnings criteria as well as the cooking requirement. Women who can't cook or who choose not to may have to do some compromising, as well. You can't always get everything you want. The easiest way out would be to find a middle ground on the meal service issue.
Of course. Some people hate cooking, and others love it or prefer to do it themselves, and they could be well suited. But you asked why someone's reliance on takeout and ready-made food would be a big deal, so I explained.
Depends....many working women simply don't have the time for cooking. My mother worked a full time job as a media conultant and PR specalist...she usually came home around 8 and my dad around 9...so the maid prepared dinner. However, that was in Asia, where maids are affordable and most of the middle or even lower-middle class families have one...in the States only the really rich can afford service like that, so two working parents will have to find some way of keeping their kids fed working nights. Unfortunately, this has lead to the rise of take out and processed fast food that is convenient to buy for the family when one is exhausted at the end of a long day...such is modern society.
Which is why we have fat children getting type 2 diabetes.
If I had kids, then I would do my damnedest to avoid fast food, restaurant food, or highly processed foods, and if they wanted something like McDonald's, it wouldn't come from me. Put it to you this way: I'm a vegetarian, and I will not cook meat for anyone, even children, so they would be raised as vegetarians and eat as vegetarians in the home until they are old enough to make their own decisions when they are in a position to either purchase or prepare their own food. I would indeed cook for them, and would expect their father to do his share of cooking, as well, unless he liked cleaning up every night.
Non-issue with me in real life, though, as kids are not in my picture.
I wouldn't want him to cook every night, either, even if he was on Top Chef. My point is that I just don't feel like eating a big meal every night.
What I don't understand is why so many men can't seem to eat a meal alone. I've never known one who could just sit down, fuel up, and be done with it. It always has to be a shared thing. Not necessarily a big to-do, but it has to be with someone.
And then they complain if their wives or girlfriends get fat. Newsflash: The reason a lot of single women or women who live alone are slender is because they don't eat traditional American dinners.
Yeah, yeah, "Just because he's eating it doesn't mean you have to."
Right, and go out or cook, have a few bites, and then sit there watching him eat. Okay. Then it's, "What? Aren't you hungry?"
Perhaps this is my baggage. I could not STAND dealing with that when I was married. I'd come home from work, work out, and then after I got out of the shower, he'd ask me what I wanted to do for dinner. Not what I wanted to make, but what I wanted to do--me cook, him cook, get take-out, go out, grab a pizza. At 8:00 at night. Heaven forbid I said, "I'm not really hungry, so I'm just going to have a bowl of cereal, but don't let me stop you."
Oh, the POUTING.
We ended up eating a lot of pizza. I still can't eat pizza that often, 8 years later.
My current man is not nearly as tedious about it, but he still has a thing about having to eat together. Whatever, it's a compromise I make, but it is a compromise.
I dunno. I guess a lot of people see food as a social thing, and that's understandable. But I see it as fuel. If I could have some kind of expanding vitamin that made me full three times a day and have a brownie as an evening snack, I'd be fine with it.
Yep. I am trying very hard to see food as fuel and nothing else. Dinner doesn't need to be a big production. Sometimes I just want a salad, cereal or toast. There is no need for "plans" or cooking. It might go back to my childhood. I always hated family sit down dinners and my favorite was "fend for yourself" night.
I don't enjoy cooking. I find it boring and tedious. I can cook the basics and follow a recipe, but I am no chef and I lack the ability to just throw things together and come up with a good meal. I am not proud of that fact, and I am not embarrassed by it.
I lack the ability to just throw things together and come up with a good meal. I am not proud of that fact, and I am not embarrassed by it.
This is the thing. Some people (male and female) have the gift of being able to throw things together, and they come out fabulous. They have an innate sense of what ingredients and spices go together. Other people...don't. It's like comparing someone with perfect pitch with people who are tone deaf. Some of us are tone deaf in the kitchen. But does anyone ever get rejected for being tone deaf? Maybe only musicians would reject such a person. If then, even.
Thanks for a nice, honest post, BeagleLady. Lilac, too. "I'm just going to have a bowl of cereal"! LOL!! You can't DO that when you're married, didn't anyone give you the handbook? You can't live like you're a bachelorette after you tie the knot. lol! Cereal! You're killing me! ROFL! But I can relate. I like something simple and light, often: a mixed salad maybe with chicken or cheese. But that's not a big enough production, it has to be a big production, with the stove involved, at least, if not the oven as well.
I'm a woman not afraid to admit that I am capable of average cuisine if given a recipe at best. I am not creative, and have no natural talent for what is "good" together. I'm an excellent baker, but my boyfriend is the cook. :P
Also, man or woman, I'd be a bit concerned if a functioning adult (again, functioning, not mentally disabled or physically) was unable to cook a basic healthy meal for themselves. It doesn't need to be anything fancy, but you need to at least be able to provide for yourself. Health and nutrition are pretty important to me, so it would probably be a big turnoff.
This is the thing. Some people (male and female) have the gift of being able to throw things together, and they come out fabulous. They have an innate sense of what ingredients and spices go together. Other people...don't. It's like comparing someone with perfect pitch with people who are tone deaf. Some of us are tone deaf in the kitchen. But does anyone ever get rejected for being tone deaf? Maybe only musicians would reject such a person. If then, even.
Thanks for a nice, honest post, BeagleLady. Lilac, too. "I'm just going to have a bowl of cereal"! LOL!! You can't DO that when you're married, didn't anyone give you the handbook? You can't live like you're a bachelorette after you tie the knot. lol! Cereal! You're killing me! ROFL! But I can relate. I like something simple and light, often: a mixed salad maybe with chicken or cheese. But that's not a big enough production, it has to be a big production, with the stove involved, at least, if not the oven.
lol! Great chatting with you ladies.
I'm completely tone deaf but that doesn't stop me attempting to sing, much to the horror of those around me. Cooking probably comes easier to me but doesn't really interest me all that much...maybe I just need to put some music on while I'm making food and start belting those notes out, it might inspire me to become a better chef.
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Then it's, "What? Aren't you hungry?" 
Lilac, too. "I'm just going to have a bowl of cereal"! LOL!! You can't DO that when you're married, didn't anyone give you the handbook? You can't live like you're a bachelorette after you tie the knot. lol! Cereal! You're killing me! ROFL! But I can relate. I like something simple and light, often: a mixed salad maybe with chicken or cheese. But that's not a big enough production, it has to be a big production, with the stove involved, at least, if not the oven as well. 
