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That's because you have more impressive things to look at on a woman. Maybe she has one or more of the following: pretty face/hair/skin, nice clothing that accentuates attractive body parts. What do you guys have to look at exactly? My eyes always gravitate to men's faces. Occasionally, I might notice that he's in good physical shape- if he actually is and dresses in a way that's flattering. But mostly, the face is what's going to grab my attention or not. If you guys think a girl's face is just ok, you can easily find other things to admire.
You feel that the only attractive feature on a guy is his face ?
I think a lot of women would disagree with you.
I am getting the idea that your expectation on what constitutes a desirable/potential partner is extremely high. You have extremely high self value and self image in yourself. I have no idea what you look like, but from your messages on this thread, I am getting the idea you probably shouldn't be speaking from experience as far as 'average'. OR, you are 'average', but you feel that you deserve better than average, because you have more options. Which only proves the entire point.
Men have clothes also. Women wear fitted clothes to show off body types, where men mostly wear the same clothes. Society has socialized women to accentuate their body in the clothes they wear, and men are socialized to be professional or casual. there is not inbetween. The closest you get to it is bar night with fisting pumping guys wearing fitted tshirts and skinny jeans. But those are the guys, probably top 20% physically fit, and they show it off.
An average guy cant pull that look off... depends, but not the way it is meant to
An average woman... all she needs to be is height weight proportionate, and she is immediately considered 'relationship material', and worth getting to know/date.
A guy has to be so much more, handsome. Average lookers have to have personality, humor, career, assets. Lacking in ANY, and sorry guy, just don't cut it.
The standard as a male is so much higher than a woman. Women complain about having to dress up, and attract guys. But guys PERSUE women, so really, women are competing with other women for male attention. So when women try to attract men, you have to be better looking than the next woman, and the better looking a woman appears, the more male attention she receives. Then, she can reject 100's of guys based off of a list of criteria. And since men will always be the main gender to pursue the opposite sex, average women will always have more potential partners than the average man. And average women have realized that an average man isn't good enough enough for them, therefore, they will most likely never settle.
At the end of the day, an average guy has such a wider range of what he considers a potential partner can be defined as. An average women has a much smaller window of expectations in the grand scheme of things.
I think too many folks try to paint physical attraction as being way too black and white, when there are in reality many shades of grey. Sure, everyone is going to be looking for someone they are attracted to, and yes, some people are more attractive than others in general. However, the bulk of the population (both men and women) are "average" in physical attractiveness because in whole, they do not greatly stand out above or below the bulk. That doesn't mean an individual will find them equally attractive either. It just means they are reasonably attractive enough to be attractive in the eyes of other people (even if not ALL other people).
Maybe some of the problem is societal stereotypes and ideals. When TV shows, or magazines, or internet sites, or whatever is out there socially keeps repeating the same "ideal" over and over again, people begin to accept it as the definition of attractive, rate others by it, and try to mimic it so others see them as attractive.
In my experience (which is, honestly, anecdotal) the average person will begin to appear more attractive I get to know them, and like what I know about them.
Being physically attracted to someone is not an absolute, or set in stone. It can grow or wither, and is influenced by non visual/physical attributes.
I don't think the bolded statement is true at all! I don't care if a guy was a doctor, was a "pillar" of his community, was well spoken, dressed well, acted like a polite gentleman and used proper body language...if he has an unattractive face and/or body, I wouldn't approach him nor would I be attracted to him.
His physical attractiveness would capture my attention and my interest - the non-physical aspects about him such as his personality, what he says, how he dresses, etc. would keepmy attention and my interest in him. Some women, including myself, are just as visual as men are! If he's not good looking or physically attractive in any way, I wouldn't be interested in his personality or anything else about him.
I'm a woman and I'm the total opposite. I've grown attracted to many guys that I wasn't attracted to right off the bat because they were amazing people. I can't imagine seeing someone as having an unattractive face and/or body if who they were as a person was really amazing.
I'm a woman and I'm the total opposite. I've grown attracted to many guys that I wasn't attracted to right off the bat because they were amazing people. I can't imagine seeing someone as having an unattractive face and/or body if who they were as a person was really amazing.
I have experienced this too, having found myself attracted to women who after getting to know them, when on first look, I did not find myself attracted to.
I have experienced this too, having found myself attracted to women who after getting to know them, when on first look, I did not find myself attracted to.
To be honest, there have been very few men that I have been attracted to right away. Maybe that's what Trimac finds so upsetting. But to me - looks are only skin deep and I'd rather be attracted to the PERSON and not just their exterior. In fact, I might find many men attractive on first glance but they have to be more than that to really spark my interest. And my interest can be sparked by guys who I didn't find that attractive on first glance. I guess I don't put much stock in first glances.
You feel that the only attractive feature on a guy is his face ?
I think a lot of women would disagree with you.
I am getting the idea that your expectation on what constitutes a desirable/potential partner is extremely high. You have extremely high self value and self image in yourself. I have no idea what you look like, but from your messages on this thread, I am getting the idea you probably shouldn't be speaking from experience as far as 'average'. OR, you are 'average', but you feel that you deserve better than average, because you have more options. Which only proves the entire point.
Your assumptions aren't correct. Most of the guys I'm attracted to have decently attractive faces and normal (not overweight, not noticeably muscular) bodies. I cannot really tell if a guy has a nice body when he's mostly covered up and wearing loose fitting clothes so none of his body parts would grab my attention at first glance. If a guy has nice arms and he's wearing a short sleeved t-shirt, I would notice that. But still, it's just an arm. Nothing to go crazy over. If I don't like his face, I just can't get excited about him. Am I supposed to imagine what he looks like undressed because there's just not much to see when he's clothed.
At the end of the day, an average guy has such a wider range of what he considers a potential partner can be defined as. An average women has a much smaller window of expectations in the grand scheme of things.
True. Most men will be content with a women with at least one of his checklist items-problem is most mens top checklist items have nothing to do with substance (which relates to log term comparability) and everything to do with physical appearance (which relates to superficial compatibility). Most women's checklists-while lengthier-at least start off with substance items and physical features are normally further down.
EX:
Male Must Haves in a GF:
1.) Nice body
2.) Nice hair
3.) Sweet (not insane)
4.) Good in bed
5.) Common interests
Female Must Haves in a BF:
1.) Funny
2.) Intelligent
3.) Compassionate
4.) Caring
5.) Potential to make a good husband/father
6.) Physically Attractive
7.) Stable
True. Most men will be content with a women with at least one of his checklist items-problem is most mens top checklist items have nothing to do with substance (which relates to log term comparability) and everything to do with physical appearance (which relates to superficial compatibility). Most women's checklists-while lengthier-at least start off with substance items and physical features are normally further down.
EX:
Male Must Haves in a GF:
1.) Nice body
2.) Nice hair
3.) Sweet (not insane)
4.) Good in bed
5.) Common interests
Female Must Haves in a BF:
1.) Funny
2.) Intelligent
3.) Compassionate
4.) Caring
5.) Potential to make a good husband/father
6.) Physically Attractive
7.) Stable
IMO, average guys will overlook ALOT of physical features; if a woman treats him well.
I know I have, and I know many guys who will as well.
IME, the more options a GUY has, he becomes much more picky, across the board. But these attractive (and/or successful daters) guys are about as picky, as average women.
I'm a woman and I'm the total opposite. I've grown attracted to many guys that I wasn't attracted to right off the bat because they were amazing people. I can't imagine seeing someone as having an unattractive face and/or body if who they were as a person was really amazing.
I see what you're saying. But for me, a person (a guy) who's a wonderful person in general and has an amazing personality but was unattractive facially and physically wouldn't appeal to the visual aspect I have of physical attraction. If I'm going to kiss this guy, touch his body, let him touch my body and be sexually intimate with him, there has to be at least some physical attraction there!
Are you saying that you would absolutely date, enter into a relationship with and become sexually intimate with a guy who has a sweet personality and who's a wonderful person but weighed 300 lbs. and has very unattractive facial features?
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If he's not good looking or physically attractive in any way, I wouldn't be interested in his personality or anything else about him.