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Wait...I thought women wanted to be approached? I thought they wondered why men don't approach? See how the rules changed again? Now they don't want us to approach? Which is it?
To be fair, she said "women don't talk to strangers" and I took that as meaning "women don't approach strangers." Doesn't mean strangers can't approach us. Although she did say accost... which is a bit more than saying "engage in friendly chit chat." I have had people "accost" me in the street and no, I don't like talking to them. Accost is to approach aggressively... not friendly. I will talk to a friendly man.
For what it's worth, I talk to everyone. Including random men that I don't know. Sometimes I regret it, but most time I meet nice men. It's interesting, sometimes I talk to men that are pretty scary and intimidating looking based on appearance, but they end up being really sweet. Or I talk to a man who seems to have a friendly face, but he turns out to be a bit crazy in a creepy kind of aluminum hat wearing way. And no, I am not a boisterous life of the party woman. I am actually more introverted and tend to be a quiet, but really friendly person. I just engage people one-on-one.
So not all women avoid men... but to be fair, most of my engaging conversation with men doesn't lead to dating. Especially when I am the one who initiated. So for me, it's not an effect dating strategy.
Wait...I thought women wanted to be approached? I thought they wondered why men don't approach? See how the rules changed again? Now they don't want us to approach? Which is it?
Women do want to be approached. We had a whole thread discussing where is appropriate to approach, though. There was pretty universal agreement by the women that they generally don't stop for guys accosting them in the street, but in stores, coffeeshops, at concerts, and almost anyplace else is fine.
Women do approach guys. They don't just signal interest when they're approached, some do the approaching. Much of the time it doesn't get them anything, though, just like when guys approach women. YMMV.
You know what's really preventing men and women from getting together? All of these nonsensical rules and entitlement women have about us reading their "signals." Why is (majority of the time) approaching so one-sided? Look, we're not mind readers. If you're interested, YOU can make the first move also. Be direct...don't play mind games. There's a great chance the guy will say "yes" anyway. Hot guys get approached sometimes, but it's few and far between for us average (and below) Joes.
Furthermore, plenty of guys who do approach are generally called "creepy", that is, unless they're very attractive. Regardless of that, we're still generally expected to approach and hope we're not labeled as "creepy" or a "stalker" in the process. We have to endure the harshness that is the bit*hface. This is what discourages us from trying even if we do think we see signals, which as NilaJones said, is not always there. It's all too confusing.
Speaking of confusing:
Wait...I thought women wanted to be approached? I thought they wondered why men don't approach? See how the rules changed again? Now they don't want us to approach? Which is it?
This. So much so. I'm not a Jedi and you're not a baboon. Knock that crap off and use something we invented a few millenia ago. Language.
This. So much so. I'm not a Jedi and you're not a baboon. Knock that crap off and use something we invented a few millenia ago. Language.
You know what, Flathead "it's challenging"...I can get where ole' boy is coming from...I'm what's generally considered a successful and attractive man...and I still face a 50% refusal rate...maybe not you but some of your sisters deal with a level of entitlement that's completely inappropriate...the "cold approach" get's tiresome after a while..just sayin'...
about half i met through friends/school, a quarter through activity groups, and a quarter through work. only one was a random individual meeting outside a group context.
You know what, Flathead "it's challenging"...I can get where ole' boy is coming from...I'm what's generally considered a successful and attractive man...and I still face a 50% refusal rate...maybe not you but some of your sisters deal with a level of entitlement that's completely inappropriate...the "cold approach" get's tiresome after a while..just sayin'...
I'm a guy if there was some confusion. I have pretty much no success. But I was primarily addressing women with my response. It's women who do the whole "signals" thing and expect that to be understood.
You know what, Flathead "it's challenging"...I can get where ole' boy is coming from...I'm what's generally considered a successful and attractive man...and I still face a 50% refusal rate...maybe not you but some of your sisters deal with a level of entitlement that's completely inappropriate...the "cold approach" get's tiresome after a while..just sayin'...
Every man gets shot down, every now and then, I dont care who you are. Rejection is simply part of being a man. 50% is a very succesful rate, I think most men get shot down at nearly 90% rate, if they're lucky. Women send signals, because a) women are indirect, which is part of femininity and b) they filter out guys who cant read them. It isnt exactly rocket science.
This. So much so. I'm not a Jedi and you're not a baboon. Knock that crap off and use something we invented a few millenia ago. Language.
Understanding body language isn't just about romantic situations, though. You mean to say you can't tell when your boss is stressed to determine just when you're going to ask for vacation days? If you need to ask directions are you going to ask the woman with her headphones on who's scowling into her phone or the whistling guy with a smile on his face?
And you could get upset with women for not being so direct, but where do you draw the line? Does she have to tell you to kiss her? Does every sexual encounter have to be negotiated beforehand? Body language is language.
This. So much so. I'm not a Jedi and you're not a baboon. Knock that crap off and use something we invented a few millenia ago. Language.
Body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are very basic components of human interaction and communication. People who can't read those cues are at a tremendous disadvantage in their every day dealing with people, whether it's in a work context, social or familial.
Furthermore, timing is important to effective communication. When someone strikes up a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, male or female, it would be inappropriate and "creepy" for the person being approached to suddenly pipe up and say, "ooh, you're nice. Want to go get some coffee, and talk some more?" There's a rhythm to communications, and an appropriate time for moving things along. I wonder what some of these complainers would do if they chatted up a woman in the check-out line who took matters into her own hands and and said, "It's been great talking to you. Can I get your number?" They might be too flabbergasted to respond, or might think she was being too forward. hm... maybe we should run a C-D poll.
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I have pretty much no success. But I was primarily addressing women with my response. It's women who do the whole "signals" thing and expect that to be understood.
