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My high school sweet heart and I decided to see other people but stay in a relationship to each other. We eventually broke up but remain really good friends. You may not want to hear this - but I think that if you are truly with the right person - you don't wonder how it is with other people.
I disagree
I believe it is human nature to play the field. --Not to sound harsh to any religious ppl-- but I believe that the only type of people who are not curious about other people at any period in their life are the ones deluded by religious convictions.
Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now. We're very much in love with one another. She's my best friend, my lover, my everything. However, there's one problem here, and that is we're also eachothers first. She's the first girl I've ever had sex with and I'm the first guy she has ever had sex with. We both talk about moving in with eachother one day. We never talk about marriage, quite frankly, we just don't believe in marriage because there are too many risks involved. We don't only see marriage absent for OUR future, but also, for BOTH our futures (we just don't really believe in it *shrugs*).
Anyway, we both want to settle down with one another some day. However, we're both scared of settling (now). We both want to "get it out our system" before we decide to make that decision. Since we both haven't had other sexual partners we believe it would be a disaster to settle for eachother before playing the field.
We really don't want to break up, we're a team, she supports me, and I support her. We've faced issues in the past, mostly on my part, but I'm completely over that phase.
Does anyone know how I feel?
Can anyone help us?
What do you think we (me and my girl) should do about these feelings?
BTW I'm 23 and she's 20
Believe it or not, until relatively recently, the concept of having one partner for life was considered not only the norm, but preferential.
By "playing the field" you subject yourself to the potential of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, including Herpes, Genital Warts and AIDS. Not to mention the fact that no birth control method is 100 percent effective so the spectre of unwanted pregnancy is also looming constantly.
There is nothing wrong with having one partner for life. You are not "missing out" on anything by not playing the field or sewing your wild oats. As long as you satisfy each other's needs and love each other, that is really all that matters. You can have 100 partners and never find that but instead feel empty and used. I don't know why you would want to experience those kinds of unpleasant feelings when you have the type of relationship that everyone is looking for.
As for marriage, I hope that you eventually change your mind about that. Being married is very much better than having a non-committal relationship. Believe me when I tell you that having someone declare publicly, before family, friends and your god, that you love someone so much you would LAY DOWN YOUR LIFE for them, is no small matter. Not only does it show that you are a responsible adult but it cements the bonds of love even stronger between the two of you.
I believe it is human nature to play the field. --Not to sound harsh to any religious ppl-- but I believe that the only type of people who are not curious about other people at any period in their life are the ones deluded by religious convictions.
Well, I disagree with you based on my experiences and the experiences of those around me. Oh - and I'm not religious at all. It's just my opinion - which you asked for - so no biggie.
Yes - it's natural to want to play the field - but I still think that if you are with the right person - those feelings aren't very strong at all. This has nothing to do with religion. But there are people with open relationships - so if that is something that you are both okay with - that could work. A lot of people aren't built to handle that - I know I could never do that with my husband.
And not to burst your bubble - but what some of the other posters have said, I also agree with. You change soooo much in your late teens/early 20's. It's very common for people to realize that the person that they fell in love with during this time just isn't the right person for them anymore. It's not a bad thing - it just happens. I loved my high school sweetheart as much as I was capable of loving someone at that stage in my life - which wasn't anywhere near as deep or true as I love my husband now.
I believe it is human nature to play the field. --Not to sound harsh to any religious ppl-- but I believe that the only type of people who are not curious about other people at any period in their life are the ones deluded by religious convictions.
Oh please.
People are all different. They have different needs, wants, and expectations.
Of all people, some find a partner they love, cheirsh, have tremendous compatability and chemistry with, and do not wonder, dream, or actively desire to "try out" other people.
Attributing this to them being "deluded" by "religious convictions" is a convenient way to try and jusity to yourself your own desire to have an open relationship.
If you and your partner want to experiment and have an open relationship, then agree to it and do it. Know it carries some risks (and I do not just mean STD's, but emotional/psychological) and accept them and the consequences if you do that.
Or, if the two of you really want to commit to each other, then do so and focus on what you have and each other and not what you don't have and could.
Well, I disagree with you based on my experiences and the experiences of those around me. Oh - and I'm not religious at all. It's just my opinion - which you asked for - so no biggie.
Yes - it's natural to want to play the field - but I still think that if you are with the right person - those feelings aren't very strong at all. This has nothing to do with religion. But there are people with open relationships - so if that is something that you are both okay with - that could work. A lot of people aren't built to handle that - I know I could never do that with my husband.
And not to burst your bubble - but what some of the other posters have said, I also agree with. You change soooo much in your late teens/early 20's. It's very common for people to realize that the person that they fell in love with during this time just isn't the right person for them anymore. It's not a bad thing - it just happens. I loved my high school sweetheart as much as I was capable of loving someone at that stage in my life - which wasn't anywhere near as deep or true as I love my husband now.
Only reason I said that was because some people don't think with their brains they think with the Bible.
I do feel like I'm with the right person, but these thoughts still enter my head. I can blame it on social expectation and all that. However, I know from my experiences and from the experiences of the people around me, I'm not the only one who feels this way --in love or not--.
Me and my girlfriend have changed quite alot since we started dating, and I think we love and appreciate each other now more then ever. I highly doubt that we will drift too far apart without resolving any issues.
I can't imagine being in love with anyone else, the thought is frightening to say the least.
I simply regret not playing the field in HS or early in college. I wish someone as amazing as my girlfriend didn't walk into my life so early.
Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now. We're very much in love with one another. She's my best friend, my lover, my everything. However, there's one problem here, and that is we're also eachothers first. She's the first girl I've ever had sex with and I'm the first guy she has ever had sex with. We both talk about moving in with eachother one day. We never talk about marriage, quite frankly, we just don't believe in marriage because there are too many risks involved. We don't only see marriage absent for OUR future, but also, for BOTH our futures (we just don't really believe in it *shrugs*).
Anyway, we both want to settle down with one another some day. However, we're both scared of settling (now). We both want to "get it out our system" before we decide to make that decision. Since we both haven't had other sexual partners we believe it would be a disaster to settle for eachother before playing the field.
We really don't want to break up, we're a team, she supports me, and I support her. We've faced issues in the past, mostly on my part, but I'm completely over that phase.
Does anyone know how I feel?
Can anyone help us?
What do you think we (me and my girl) should do about these feelings?
BTW I'm 23 and she's 20
Break up if you are having these feelings. If you indeed love her, you wouldn't feel this way.
Only reason I said that was because some people don't think with their brains they think with the Bible.
I do feel like I'm with the right person, but these thoughts still enter my head. I can blame it on social expectation and all that. However, I know from my experiences and from the experiences of the people around me, I'm not the only one who feels this way --in love or not--.
Me and my girlfriend have changed quite alot since we started dating, and I think we love and appreciate each other now more then ever. I highly doubt that we will drift too far apart without resolving any issues.
I can't imagine being in love with anyone else, the thought is frightening to say the least.
I simply regret not playing the field in HS or early in college. I wish someone as amazing as my girlfriend didn't walk into my life so early.
I felt that way about my first boyfriend, too. I couldn't imagine ever knowing someone as well as I knew him. I couldn't imagine having to get to know someone all over again. I couldn't imagine anyone ever knowing me as well as he knew me. I couldn't imagine being myself with anyone else the way I was with him. But the older I got - the more I got to know myself and the more comfortable I became with who I was. Because of this - my husband and I are more comfortable with each other and know each other better than my first boyfriend and I were capable of.
I'm not saying that this is definitely the wrong person for you or that you don't love her - I'm simply sharing my experiences. Many of my friends also had these same exact feelings - so it's not really that unique. It happens. Oh - and when one of my friends told me that I should just break up with my first boyfriend because it was pretty much inevitable - I told him that this was just a phase, I just needed to get this out of my system, I loved my boyfriend more than anything and I had full confidence that we would end up together.
Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now. We're very much in love with one another. She's my best friend, my lover, my everything. However, there's one problem here, and that is we're also eachothers first. She's the first girl I've ever had sex with and I'm the first guy she has ever had sex with. We both talk about moving in with eachother one day. We never talk about marriage, quite frankly, we just don't believe in marriage because there are too many risks involved. We don't only see marriage absent for OUR future, but also, for BOTH our futures (we just don't really believe in it *shrugs*).
Anyway, we both want to settle down with one another some day. However, we're both scared of settling (now). We both want to "get it out our system" before we decide to make that decision. Since we both haven't had other sexual partners we believe it would be a disaster to settle for eachother before playing the field.
We really don't want to break up, we're a team, she supports me, and I support her. We've faced issues in the past, mostly on my part, but I'm completely over that phase.
Does anyone know how I feel?
Can anyone help us?
What do you think we (me and my girl) should do about these feelings?
BTW I'm 23 and she's 20
It sounds like the sex is all pretty good in your relationship, but you have absolutely no committment, and are not in love at all but the sex is okay.
People in love really don't think they need to be trying out a whole lot others before they can decide if they love their partner. People really don't need to try out some set number of bed partners before they can know if they're in love.
I think you should just go ahead and break it off and get to trying all those other sex partners, the sooner the better.
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