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He knows. I'm sure you have a point you want to make, but you need to ask me what you want to ask in one paragraph. I don't have time now to wait for you to deal out whatever questions you may have one by one.
Why did you one day CHOOSE to cheat on your husband, and how many times did you do it?? What was the reason behind the cheating, was it a moment of weakness? Did your husband find out himself or did you tell him?
Also, do you believe cheating is inevitable in majority of all long lasting marriages?
I think you have a very limited understanding of how love works. Love isn't a Disney movie, just because we aren't picking daisies and talking about children, doesn't mean we don't love eachother. Nothing is missing I just simply don't want to waste my youth and I don't want her to waste hers. If we're to ask her hand in marriage right, it would be a huge mistake because we're not ready, and it doesn't take a away an significant amount of love that I already have for her.
This is funny because I would say that you have a limited understanding of how love works. But I suppose, when I was your age, I might have thought I knew more than everyone else, too.
Look - if you want to have an open relationship with your girlfriend, then just do it. If you want to break up with her for awhile so you can sleep with other people, then just do it.
I know I've said this before - you've basically asked us a question, we're telling you our experiences, and you're basically telling us that we are all wrong, we don't understand love, we have limited views, blah blah blah. So just do what you want to do already and ignore everyone else. We don't care - it's not our life!
I think you have a very limited understanding of how love works. Love isn't a Disney movie, just because we aren't picking daisies and talking about children, doesn't mean we don't love eachother. Nothing is missing I just simply don't want to waste my youth and I don't want her to waste hers. If we're to ask her hand in marriage right, it would be a huge mistake because we're not ready, and it doesn't take a away an significant amount of love that I already have for her.
I think you only like each other -- or have an infatuation that is almost over.
So don't waste your youth with her any more, there's a lot of hotter babes out there waiting for you and you should find them. Something is definitely missing or you wouldn't be talking about breaking up to have sex and maybe even infatuations with others.
Yes it would definitely be a mistake to marry someone when you want to have relationships and even fall in love with others. I'm saying -- break up and get on with it. You will discover that what you have with this one isn't love. You're fond of her, the sex was alright but getting stale. And not only that, you're ready to cut her loose so she can get bedded down by others, definitely not committment, not what a guy in love would feel.
Why did you one day CHOOSE to cheat on your husband, and how many times did you do it?? What was the reason behind the cheating, was it a moment of weakness? Did your husband find out himself or did you tell him?
Also, do you believe cheating is inevitable in majority of all long lasting marriages?
Who can know if anything is an inevitability?
I second-guessed my choice to marry my husband. I was your age when I married. He asked me as a surprise, before I was totally set on the idea. I was afraid I had settled because he was a great guy, we were in love, we were an amazing team, and I did not think I would ever find a "better" person.
I did not understand the true meaning of commitment.
I thought "being married" would magically solve all the second-thoughts and nagging worries I had. It did not.
I met someone in my grad school program who I fell in love with. I began to think HE would be a better choice for me, and used all the old worries I used to have as excuses to justify a relationship with him.
The circumstances make a VERY long story that I don't care to share here. What I learned, though, is that ANY commitment, whether legal or spoken between partners, is a risk. It all really does depend on you and how many times you can turn away from choices to stray or leave.
This is funny because I would say that you have a limited understanding of how love works. But I suppose, when I was your age, I might have thought I knew more than everyone else, too.
Look - if you want to have an open relationship with your girlfriend, then just do it. If you want to break up with her for awhile so you can sleep with other people, then just do it.
I know I've said this before - you've basically asked us a question, we're telling you our experiences, and you're basically telling us that we are all wrong, we don't understand love, we have limited views, blah blah blah. So just do what you want to do already and ignore everyone else. We don't care - it's not our life!
I understand that already but for some one to say you don't love someone because you want to sleep with other people is oversimplifying the issue, don't you think?
I think you only like each other -- or have an infatuation that is almost over.
So don't waste your youth with her any more, there's a lot of hotter babes out there waiting for you and you should find them. Something is definitely missing or you wouldn't be talking about breaking up to have sex and maybe even infatuations with others.
Yes it would definitely be a mistake to marry someone when you want to have relationships and even fall in love with others. I'm saying -- break up and get on with it. You will discover that what you have with this one isn't love. You're fond of her, the sex was alright but getting stale. And not only that, you're ready to cut her loose so she can get bedded down by others, definitely not committment, not what a guy in love would feel.
And the assumptions roll on...
But whatever, I got you, loud and clear...
I understand that already but for some one to say you don't love someone because you want to sleep with other people is oversimplifying the issue, don't you think?
Not really. I think if you are IN LOVE with someone - you don't want to sleep with other people. I loved my exes - but I wasn't in love with them anymore. I've never been tempted to sleep with other people since I've been with my husband. I know what I would be losing and it's not worth it. Plus, there's no man on earth that compares to my husband in my eyes.
Sometime the line between love and in love isn't that clear. And for some people - it's not always constant. But this is the way I see it. My husband and I never had any doubts about marrying each other. My ex was afraid of getting married to me - and in the end, we just weren't right together.
Not really. I think if you are IN LOVE with someone - you don't want to sleep with other people. I loved my exes - but I wasn't in love with them anymore. I've never been tempted to sleep with other people since I've been with my husband. I know what I would be losing and it's not worth it. Plus, there's no man on earth that compares to my husband in my eyes.
Sometime the line between love and in love isn't that clear. And for some people - it's not always constant. But this is the way I see it. My husband and I never had any doubts about marrying each other. My ex was afraid of getting married to me - and in the end, we just weren't right together.
To me there's no IN LOVE or LOVE, it's just love. If I love you then I'm with you, point blank period. If me and my girlfriend ever decide to break up, I never want to talk, see, or hear from her again. Because why would I want to stay in contact with my ex who is probably ****ing other people? I'm suggesting this to her because it's something ALL young couples should do. I blame myself, and my awkward shyness around women in my younger years. And she needs to do it too, she always says she would like to spend her life with me, and move in with me. She's young she doesn't know any better, I'm doing this for her and me! I don't want to walk in and find out she cheated on me one day because she asked herself, "what if?" I'm trying to avoid that trouble and that pain.
I'm doing this for her and me! I don't want to walk in and find out she cheated on me one day because she asked herself, "what if?" I'm trying to avoid that trouble and that pain.
Honey, there are no guarantees in life. Love is a always a risk because to do it right you make yourself completely vulnerable.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 07-28-2013 at 08:46 PM..
To me there's no IN LOVE or LOVE, it's just love. If I love you then I'm with you, point blank period. If me and my girlfriend ever decide to break up, I never want to talk, see, or hear from her again. Because why would I want to stay in contact with my ex who is probably ****ing other people? I'm suggesting this to her because it's something ALL young couples should do. I blame myself, and my awkward shyness around women in my younger years. And she needs to do it too, she always says she would like to spend her life with me, and move in with me. She's young she doesn't know any better, I'm doing this for her and me! I don't want to walk in and find out she cheated on me one day because she asked herself, "what if?" I'm trying to avoid that trouble and that pain.
So - instead of not seeing her after you break up because she's probably sleeping with other people - you want her to sleep with other people now, while you are still together?
You can try to rationalize and explain what you think all you want - I shared with you my experiences in the same situation. Do with that what you will. But someday, you'll come to understand that there is so much to learn about love and commitment than you are aware of right now. I know that nobody wants to hear that - but it's the truth. In 20 years, I'll probably think how I understand so much more than I did right now.
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