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A valid choice. The difference between this poster and the OP is that this poster is honest about what he wants and why he wants it. He's not pretending he has the approval of the psychiatric profession, his gf, and Santa Claus ("yes, Santa, I'm being good, because it's all for Tammy's own good, she just doesn't know her own mind and what's for her own good, she needs me to explain it to her") in order to do what he wants to do.
btw, d-king, he said near the beginning of the thread that neither of them is interested in marriage. I wonder, though, if the gf knows she's not interested in marriage. I'm starting to have my doubts. He may not have told her yet. But who knows, maybe she agrees, since her parents' marriage isn't great.
*Shrugs* Whatever, my fault for being a virgin for so long.
My fault for getting into a long term relationship with another virgin. Me and her will deal with the consequences, accordingly. Whenever they do arise sometime in the near future.
Because I deeply believe we need to do this, or else infidelity will follow through later on. What if we somehow do change our minds and do get married, then we begin to wonder the "What Ifs"?
My brother and his wife have been married since she was 18 and he was 19.
She has never been unfaithful. Has zero interest in it. They are both in their early 40s now.
My brother, otoh, has been unfaithful. And yanno what? He had had sex with quite a few women before they married. My sister-in-law has only ever had sex with my brother.
She may have wondered what it would be like with another man, but she's never acted on it.
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*Shrugs* Whatever, my fault for being a virgin for so long.
My fault for getting into a long term relationship with another virgin. Me and her will deal with the consequences, accordingly. Whenever they do arise sometime in the near future.
Dude.
You were not a virgin for "so long."
You were what? 20 when you started dating her? She was 17? It's not like either of you could expect a very experienced partner at that age.
I swear though, you do need a therapist.
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i dont think the experience of being with other people is worth breaking up over, however i also doubt you would even be considering it/questioning it if you were seriously committed to each other
I am going to say something you may not want to hear.
The chances that the person you are with in your early 20s is the one you'll end up with for life are vanishingly small. It can happen, but it is pretty rare.
That said, I think you are being more sensible about this than many people your age. Consider opening up your relationship a bit. No need to break up. Just switch from a strict monogamous relationship to what you might call a "monogamish" arrangement. Keep identifying each other as your primary partner. Just allow a little leeway when it comes to sexual exploration.
One warning: if you decide to open up your relationship, you may find is far easier for her to find other partners than it is for you. Far easier. The number of men who are willing to have sex with attached women is huge; the number of women willing to have sex with attached men is much smaller. This could turn into a source of tension between you.
My high school sweet heart and I decided to see other people but stay in a relationship to each other. We eventually broke up but remain really good friends. You may not want to hear this - but I think that if you are truly with the right person - you don't wonder how it is with other people.
I can't say that I agree with this. Variety can be very important to sexual education. I know I come from a very non-traditional PoV. But no matter how much you love someone, attraction to others still exists.
Well, we HAVE to break it off if she's going away; otherwise, it isn't going to work anyway. I already mentioned my bad experience with a long distance relationship and i'm not dealing with that EVER again. All you had to do was think to understand that.
Well, Prince Charming- I meant that in one post you talk about how much in love you guys are - and you are throwing out the insults to anyone that dares say that you guys are young and that your love might change - and in the last post you were talking about how you hope she goes off to grad school out of state so that you can break up. Then you basically tell me I'm an idiot because I can't follow your convoluted train of thought - which wasn't what I was talking about anyway.
I think you have some deep issues that you need to get sorted out before you are really ready to be in a serious relationship with anyone. Not everyone cheats. And many people that had a parent that cheated NEVER cheat because they see what their non-cheating parent went through. And yes, I personally KNOW people like that - I'm not just making assumptions based on my own paranoia.
Bottom line - you don't trust your girlfriend and you don't trust yourself. Not everyone needs to sleep with a whole bunch of people to stay true to the person they are in love with. Trusting someone takes faith in the person and takes laying your heart on the line. It doesn't sound like you are ready to do either. And I have news for you - I doubt you'll be ready to do that even if you both do "get it out of your system." And you would really be okay with getting back together with her - not knowing if she slept with 0 or 100 guys while you were broken up? And lastly - if you do break up - most people don't get back together after something like this. You either trust her or you don't. She has given you no reason not to trust her. You don't trust her because of your own issues that have nothing to do with her.
Stop attacking everyone who gives you advice. Stop calling everyone dumb. All you are doing is making yourself look like a little kid at the playground insulting everyone. If you want us to take you seriously - start acting like an adult and stop kicking sand in our faces.
I can't say that I agree with this. Variety can be very important to sexual education. I know I come from a very non-traditional PoV. But no matter how much you love someone, attraction to others still exists.
I told him before that if they are comfortable with an open relationship - they should do that. I did that with my first boyfriend - but it was because we loved each other so much but weren't in love with each other anymore. He said he'd never want to see her again if he knew she was sleeping with someone else - so it doesn't sound like that's really an option for them.
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