Ex-fiance has turned friends/family against me... (woman, engagement, younger)
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Hi everyone. About 2 months ago I called it off with my fiance. It just wasn't going to work. Her family was understandably upset with me. But now she has started to turn all of our mutual friends against me. Even some friends that I knew before her.
As far as the breakup goes, I look like the bad guy because I initiated it. So I'm sure she's been telling lies about me to all our mutual friends. It's so frustrating. I don't what to do about it. She absolutely refuses to talk to me. And my friends are starting to cut me off too. How should I approach this?
Friends who cut you off without getting your side first were not really friends to begin with.
I have had a chance to talk to most of them, but really, they refuse to see anything from my point of view. My ex has played the victim card and convinced my friends that I'm some cold-hearted jerk. Break ups are never easy. And I think my ex's bitterness and anger is manifesting itself in her attempt to cut everyone off from me.
"I can't have you, and neither will anyone else after I'm done."
I hope you find loyal, sincere friends, as opposed to those who you thought had your back. You didn't avoid a bullet, you dodged the defense's volley. Don't try to recover anything, move on, don't look back (even if the failed engagement had worked as a better failure - she accepted it and moved on herself - you would have still continued to shift your interests away) and continue. This is not starting anew, this is moving forward. You will find people who really appreciate you, really care for you, and the right woman for you at some time / distance down the path. You know what to do, nothing else to see here.
"I can't have you, and neither will anyone else after I'm done."
I hope you find loyal, sincere friends, as opposed to those who you thought had your back. You didn't avoid a bullet, you dodged the defense's volley. Don't try to recover anything, move on, don't look back (even if the failed engagement had worked as a better failure - she accepted it and moved on herself - you would have still continued to shift your interests away) and continue. This is not starting anew, this is moving forward. You will find people who really appreciate you, really care for you, and the right woman for you at some time / distance down the path. You know what to do, nothing else to see here.
Thanks for the comment. Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just been really difficult to see so many good friends and even my younger sister turn their backs on me because of this breakup. No matter what I say, no matter how good a friend I've been in the past, these people see me as nothing but the bad guy. It's just very discouraging and sad. Even if I did make mistakes, nobody is perfect.
Thanks for the comment. Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just been really difficult to see so many good friends and even my younger sister turn their backs on me because of this breakup. No matter what I say, no matter how good a friend I've been in the past, these people see me as nothing but the bad guy. It's just very discouraging and sad. Even if I did make mistakes, nobody is perfect.
You're lucky, you get away from a relationship you didn't like and bad friends. Now enjoy yourself and be thankful.
You're lucky, you get away from a relationship you didn't like and bad friends. Now enjoy yourself and be thankful.
I am certainly thankful and do enjoy being out of that relationship. However, they aren't bad friends. They have simply bought into my ex's lies. They refuse to accept that she had anything to do with the breakup. They blame me 100%, which is just wrong.
I am certainly thankful and do enjoy being out of that relationship. However, they aren't bad friends. They have simply bought into my ex's lies. They refuse to accept that she had anything to do with the breakup. They blame me 100%, which is just wrong.
It was a complicated breakup with a lot of drama. My friends don't understand what went on behind closed doors. I doubt anyone would truly understand. But the fact is, my ex is very convincing and her whole family has done a lot of work to paint me as the bad guy. So, I can only put minimal blame on my friends as they've had the wool pulled over their eyes.
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