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I know he was a drive by OP but I think I understand the spirit of his question, and I think some of you are missing it. He is NOT saying women go into marriage just looking for a big payday.
He is saying why would a man or a woman go into marriage when they have more to lose? Why would they not want to keep the government (who through their past actions have proven they will screw over the higher earner of the two which is usually the man) out of it?
Once the "honeymoon phase" is over and the real work begins, the breadwinner (usually the man) has to start saving for a house, saving for the kids, saving for the future...where before when it was just you and him in an apartment it was all fun, sex, trips, laughing, and craziness.
Now all of a sudden once the married life begins its work, work, and more work, overtime, debt, bills, no peace and quiet with kids around, no sex (or at least very diminished) with kids around, etc.
Some guys (not all) wish we had the relationships right before marriage and can freeze that time. That was when we liked you best. You weren't grumpy from taking care of kids, tired all the time, yelling at us for not earning enough, etc. You were adventurous, generous lovers, exciting, funny, the very best you.
Why do you think that a lot of guys (not all) want to side step the “marriage talk”? We want to hold on as long as we can to the great thing we have with you. It’s not because we think something better is going to come along, it’s because (generally speaking) men don’t like change, and they prefer to stay the same and want you to stay the same, while women (again not all) try to change us, mold us into their idea of a perfect man.
Are these generalizations? Sure, but they happen often enough for them to be stereotypes, jokes, in movies, plots in books, etc. and this is the reality of my world between me, uncles, friends, co-workers, etc. and I’m sure many others here.
What a sad, bleak view of marriage. Sorry, that isn't how things exist in our marriage. That isn't how things exist in my in-laws' marriage and they've been married over forty years. Neither of us had anything to lose by getting married. We got married because it, simply put, felt right for us. Ten plus years in and we still feel exactly the same way we did when we met for the first time. Even with two kids and busy jobs.
In Colorado, where alimony is by formula and women rule, almost no one marries any more.
I would love to see the data to back this claim. Off the top of my head I can think of 11 or 12 married couples I know in Colorado, and only two single people. I have a difficult time believing that I just happen to be acquainted with a statistical anomaly of rare married people, since I'm a single person who primarily associates with single people.
I don't suppose your screen name could be indicative of any distorted viewpoint or bias here, could it?
I'm just amused that people keep biting when fake posters do "drive-by's start controversial threads to keep CD an active site.
I feel there's some bits of this that are valid... But very little, and everyone getting so worked up over an obvious "planted thread" and I was staying up late to cook a gumbo.
You do know this is the internet, right? You aren't actually laughing in anyone's face....
Tell me the truth - did you have a male role model when you were growing up? My guess is that dad knocked up mom and bailed, that would explain your posts.
That's okay, some women (not all) liked men best right before they marry and let themselves go, become self-absorbed, sit with their hand in their pants with the remote in the other one, grunt and fart, go bald, grow a beer gut, complain about their job incessantly, lay on the couch and expect to be waited on, don't participate in child-rearing...etc.
Are these generalizations? Sure, but they happen often enough for them to be stereotypes, jokes, in movies, plots in books, etc. and this is the reality of my world between.....
Oh wait, that's not my reality...
It seems like you just picked wrong...though it's not surprising if you grew up around relationships like that...we tend to gravitate towards the familiar.
Thank you. Can't rep you enough. So sick of the attitude around here that marriage is just for women, it's only a rip-off for men, all women are just coniving, evil, plotting, scheming beings who hook a man. Then of course we all use them to pop out babies, sit at home, get fat, refuse sex, then demand more money. GMAFB! I feel bad for men in that situation, I'm sure it happens, but not to all marriages. I see many in the above scenario you just mentioned, where the women are stuck at home with no income, trapped at home as nothing more than a glorified maid. Yeah, the scenario above.... that's REALLY a marriage in the woman's favor isn't it?
You do know this is the internet, right? You aren't actually laughing in anyone's face....
Tell me the truth - did you have a male role model when you were growing up? My guess is that dad knocked up mom and bailed, that would explain your posts.
Nope, parents were married (doubt yours were) were also teachers, went camping, canoeing with dad in the summers, read to me when i was little etc....
You'll have to come up with some other half baked theory....
Marriage doesn't benefit men at all in the majority of cases. The laws are designed in such a way that most men would be fools to get married.
Outside of social, family and religious pressure.. there is no reason to get married. Also those three reasons are idiotic.
Well I want kids so getting married is the way to go. Also what if you wanted to run for mayor oo some thing you have to be married. Next I do not have any money but I do have a pet unicorn and a dog .
Well I want kids so getting married is the way to go. Also what if you wanted to run for mayor oo some thing you have to be married..
No you don't. San Francisco has had several single mayors. What does marital status have to do with being mayor?
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