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I kinda skimmed through the responses because my computer is slow today and I lost patience with it. So here's the deal. No one forces people to marry. But I understand pressures.
In my 20's I was dating a very nice guy with whom I wanted to be but not marry. He pressured me, my family pressured and his family pressured me. It was just kind of expected. So I thought I wanted to too. I did. I spent ten years being married before I had to admit I didn't. Never did. We divorced, no kids. Didn't want them either. He remarried after two years. I didn't remarry after 37 years.
In my single dating days, after my divorce I definitely did not want to find men who wanted to marry but there were plenty of them. Surprise. Some people might expect the opposite but there you go. Still I managed to have some very nice relationships with men who thought like me; no kids, no marriage. Happily single.
Not everyone is cut out for marriage but most people want to marry. And that goes for men as well as women. But if you don't, you don't. Find those who think like you.
OP, believe it or not, there are women your age who think like you do. They are not in the majority, true, I believe because most women want kids and they want fathers for their kids. Although that seems to be changing too because it would appear that many young women want fathers for their kids but they don't necessarily want husbands.
Different strokes. Find women who think as you. They are out there. And as others have said, if you don't want to get marry, don't.
Then don't marry...it is obviously not for you. No reason to tell the rest of the world how to live.
Exactly. I don't understand those who feel the need to convince others that it's better to be married or to not be married. Do what works for you, and let others do what works for them. If you're secure in your own life choices, you won't care if others make the same choices or not.
MIT =/= nation wide. Women have seen no growth in STEM fields in 10 years. Furthermore, men outnumber women in engineering 7:1. Also, women go to medical school to be nurses most of the time. Guess who the doctors are...
Nurses don't go to medical school to become nurses. Where in the world did you get that from? And there are more women in medical school today studying to become physicians than men. Get a clue.
And more than 50% of the scientists I work with every day are women. Given that men are on the decline in the way of college in general I fail to see the merit in your comments.
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If a woman dates up - and most do - what can she have to lose?
Step one: choose an easy field that makes $40k/yr
Step two: scope out the guys who make more
Step three pressure some $80k/yr STEM field guy into marrying just as her looks are declining.
in 4 years, he's made $320k to her small $160k.
And stop fibbing. Are you in STEM? Have you missed this recession? The vast majority of STEM workers earning 80k today will be earning 90k in 4 years if they're lucky, not 320k. You are in for a rude awakening. But, I guess that's just how it goes for 20-somethings who are inexperienced. Everything is always easier and successful before you're actually doing it.
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Add it up and divide it in half. Whalaaaah. she leaves the marriage with more than she came in with, and the guy gained 0. back to square one with less money. maybe we should take a note from African American males and just avoid marriage. they seem to look at relationships like women do, IE "what can SHE do for ME." i find it odd that "we" support marriage so heavily, yet "we" get nothing out of it and it usually reduces our standard of living.
by "we" i mean caucasians. no, i haven't been married, as i am in my 20s. but i can see myself as a 30 year old still doing me.
This "we" is you and perhaps a mouse in your pocket, nothing more. Don't marry. Don't have children. Please.
When the new divorce formula kicks in, many women, especially young women who outearn men, are going to simply avoid marriage. Those who are already married are statistically the higher earners in over 30% of marriages now, which means MANY more women will be "taken to the cleaners" than in the past.
Marriage is dead in Colorado, killed by the divorce laws, and the divorce laws here are coming soon to a state near you, if the Democrats have their way.
While I agree Colorado has messed up divorce laws, marriage is not dead in Colorado, and their laws are unlikely to spread to the rest of America.
Why isn't marriage dead in Colorado? Because hardly anyone knows about it. They might get raped in court, but then it is too late.
I think you should stop fixating on it. Yes some men (and women) gets screwed over, but we already know the system can be extremly unfair. Divorce laws are not the only thing that can be unfair or destroy innocent people. There is nothing you can do about. Just make sure you take the necessary precautions.
Because you know enough to realize that to understand complex subjects - like science or love - you have to have a foundation of knowledge to build upon.
A 3rd grader will not understand complex college level Physical Chemistry - they simply lack the knowledge and foundation at that stage of their development - much like our OP's inability to understand love and marriage
In that case I also hope they learn how to drive from someone other than you, and don't ride in the car with you while you're driving and playing on the internet simultaneously.
Seriously. People who think it's okay to drive (especially a stick shift) and browse the internet/text/reply on message boards are complete idiots. I've given my dude the 'death glare' enough times when he grabs his phone while driving that he just hands it to me without hesitation when he gets a text etc. I read it off, and he tells me how to respond.
I've had two friends that were hit by other people texting...and one was riding a bike and ended up breaking his leg and messing up his back. It's absolutely unacceptable for me.
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