Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Although true you cannot control your spouse, you have control over who is your spouse.
A lot of people get married without really understanding their future spouse, or setting aside their emotions and honestly evaluating their spouse.
Financial issues are a leading cause for divorce. Many couples never even speak of how they will approach financial issues, contributing, emergencies, etc, before they get married, then get upset when things are not as they expect.
I hate to sound so academic about it, but a lot of people do not do proper due diligence in regard to getting married, which adds to aggregate totals of divorce, unhappiness, etc. Sometimes people do change too, but I would contend that is not all that often... that people's true characters are there to see if you look but that many people fail to look or allow their emotions to ignore things.
Anyway, none of that is a factor in predicting risk on a personal level. Like an investment, you can do a lot to minimize risk.
I do not mean to imply you should get married. Clearly you do not want to due to your perceived risk in it. I just feel you are over exaggerating the true risk to yourself, particularly since you seem like someone who would due a lot of due diligence and not enter into a marriage flippantly.
Sure, I can see your points, and they're all good ones. However, all the due diligence in the world doesn't stop people from changing, growing apart, getting bored, falling out of love, etc. There are risks that simply cannot be mitigated. Again, one can control themselves, but not anyone else.
Like I stated, my main reasons for eschewing marriage are the unfair and slanted courts and gender relations in Western civilization. In case anyone doubts my dedication to this ideal, I've had two different LTR's deteriorate and fail because I refused to marry.
Sure, I can see your points, and they're all good ones. However, all the due diligence in the world doesn't stop people from changing, growing apart, getting bored, falling out of love, etc. There are risks that simply cannot be mitigated. Again, one can control themselves, but not anyone else.
Like I stated, my main reasons for eschewing marriage are the unfair and slanted courts and gender relations in Western civilization. In case anyone doubts my dedication to this ideal, I've had two different LTR's deteriorate and fail because I refused to marry.
I see where you are coming from. I think it is a shame that you let your desire to be married, and two potential relationships which could have achieved that go down the drain because of your fear of the uncertainty of the future and perception of the courts, and a hypothetical situation your putting yourself in.
That will never happen. I'm sorry that you have such a negative outlook on women. I'm not sure if this is because you have no experience with women and have relied on others with negative outlooks on women or if you have been hurt by someone and haven't been able to get over it - but it's not a very healthy way to live your life - and I do hope that you are able to get past this. Like I said, we only have one life to live. Wasting it being afraid is no way to live.
But back to women not being able to marry and have children - that will never happen. Women aren't the only ones who want to marry and have children. Once again - marriage is a choice. People choose to get married. People are still choosing to get married - they are just waiting until they are older and they are marrying for love instead of necessity.
I can see from all of your posts that you don't like women very much - and I sincerely hope that you are able to get past this. Holding on to hate or anger only hurts you - and life is too short to waste on things like that. Life is too short to waste on anything negative. I wish I could go back and stop worrying about all the stupid things I spent my time worrying about. Well, you live and you learn and hopefully you become a better person because of it!
It will happen, in fact, it has to happen. The statistics support it fully.
You also jumped to an unfair assessment that I have a negative outlook on women. That's not true at all, and the rest of that paragraph are faulty conclusions based on that premise.
I'm not afraid of anything, I have taken stock of the pros and cons, the cons simply outweigh the pros in today's environment.
Women are in fact the primary drivers of marriage, very few men "actively" want to get married, but they rather do so to not lose their relationship because the female demands it. If the pressure from females to get married were to end today, almost nobody would get married.
Marriage rates are in freefall. And like I said, the unfair and slanted environment will eventually change when a large portion of women are unable to marry, due to a variety of factors.
It will happen, in fact, it has to happen. The statistics support it fully.
You also jumped to an unfair assessment that I have a negative outlook on women. That's not true at all, and the rest of that paragraph are faulty conclusions based on that premise.
I'm not afraid of anything, I have taken stock of the pros and cons, the cons simply outweigh the pros in today's environment.
Women are in fact the primary drivers of marriage, very few men "actively" want to get married, but they rather do so to not lose their relationship because the female demands it. If the pressure from females to get married were to end today, almost nobody would get married.
Marriage rates are in freefall. And like I said, the unfair and slanted environment will eventually change when a large portion of women are unable to marry, due to a variety of factors.
Your entire post is wishful thinking.
Many men do want to get married. My husband was one of them. In fact, the majority of men that I know wanted or want to get married. But we are all in the category that has the most successful marriages.
I think this conversation is indeed pointless. Oh well. Hope you find happiness somehow!
It will happen, in fact, it has to happen. The statistics support it fully.
You also jumped to an unfair assessment that I have a negative outlook on women. That's not true at all, and the rest of that paragraph are faulty conclusions based on that premise.
I'm not afraid of anything, I have taken stock of the pros and cons, the cons simply outweigh the pros in today's environment.
Women are in fact the primary drivers of marriage, very few men "actively" want to get married, but they rather do so to not lose their relationship because the female demands it. If the pressure from females to get married were to end today, almost nobody would get married.
Marriage rates are in freefall. And like I said, the unfair and slanted environment will eventually change when a large portion of women are unable to marry, due to a variety of factors.
Your entire post is wishful thinking.
Eh....sorry not buying this at all. There are just as many women who feel pressured to be married by men, than the other way around. Yeah men talk a lot of stuff in public about not wanting to be tied down and all that, but the reality is they are talking marriage a mile a minute to their girlfriends. And I have said this before, if men are getting burned so badly in marriage, why do so many divorced men get married again, in many cases before the women they divorced?? Yes there are plenty of men who don't want to get married, and those that don't want to, well....they don't. But in today's age any man that is getting married is because he wants to, not because his woman demands it.
It will happen, in fact, it has to happen. The statistics support it fully.
Marriage rates are in freefall. And like I said, the unfair and slanted environment will eventually change when a large portion of women are unable to marry, due to a variety of factors.
What are these factors, other than a fantasy on your part?
Eh....sorry not buying this at all. There are just as many women who feel pressured to be married by men, than the other way around. Yeah men talk a lot of stuff in public about not wanting to be tied down and all that, but the reality is they are talking marriage a mile a minute to their girlfriends. And I have said this before, if men are getting burned so badly in marriage, why do so many divorced men get married again, in many cases before the women they divorced?? Yes there are plenty of men who don't want to get married, and those that don't want to, well....they don't. But in today's age any man that is getting married is because he wants to, not because his woman demands it.
Sorry, but all your statements are based on absolutely nothing. I've read reams of research on it.
The number of men who are interested in marriage, and consider it integral to a happy life is in strong decline. On the other hand, women answering the same survey question in the positive is on the rise.
Why are men and women's interest in marriage as an important goal diverging?
Sorry, but all your statements are based on absolutely nothing. I've read reams of research on it.
Why?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
