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OP, let her know that she needs to get a job by X date or she and her kids will have to go, and keep to your word. And for God's sake, take some time to be single for a while!
.. she was gone and divorce was started before I dated this girl..
He's supporting a girl, a mother of two...use of girl says a lot right there
Comment:
Jealous and amazed there is sex good enough to avoid putting myself and my children first. Really, how good is that sex? I've never had it good enough to know.
Annoyed that I offer a lot but have never had a guy fully support me, kids, and my poor choices. I'm a bit perturbed. Oh, and I'm a redhead! But not little, wide hips and huge boobs. Sigh, that's my problem ....
OP knowingly signed up to be used. I can't control other people so I just look the other way in these cases. Many people put themselves and their SOs above their kids, it isn't unusual. I disapprove but clearly it is popular to make it all about oneself - not others.
OP - perhaps seeing a counselor who works in codependency would be of interest to you.
Your own kids will be adults one day, perhaps their opinion of you will matter. Think about that sometimes.
I don't treat her kids the same.. For example on weekends when my children are here but hers aren't we tend to do things that cost more.. My reasoning is that she can't afford to pay for her kids so I tend to find free/cheap alternatives that I don't mind paying for. She complains that I don't interact with her kids much.. the reality is I only see them for a few hours after work and I am wiped out after sitting in front of a computer for 8-9 hours a day.. versus I see my kids on the weekend when I am refreshed..
Just looking for any input or advice..
Hopefully you knew you'd be getting your ass kicked all over here with this story. Advice: Let the poor kids go back to living with their grandpa, convince her she is not a good example, they will soon resent always being shown they are second best. If you don't plan on making them your own kids, and clearly you never said you loved her anywhere here...then at least save them the misery.
Oh she's cute? Well then that makes it ALL worth it.
Did you catch the dripping sarcasm?
No offense, but when it comes to emotional intelligence, you're a moron. Extract yourself from the relationship, get yourself into therapy and then find yourself a partner who will contribute to the household and serve as a worthy role model for your own children.
This isn't rocket science - it's just common sense.
I am fairly recently divorced.. I feel like I may have jumped into a relationship way too soon.. but thats not something I can change right now.
Anyway, I have 2 kids that I have on the weekends, and my girlfriend has 2 kids that she has most of the time (Texas standard visitation, she is the custodial parent). She lives with me and her kids do as well most of the time. I support us all on a single income. The problem is that neither her nor her father do anything to support these kids, no child support is paid (he is now like 4-5k in arrears) and she has not worked for the entire year I have been together (2 years total). I have offered her a car to drive if she will go get her license (Its a manual so she'd have to learn to drive it) and/or pay for the first few weeks of child care so she could get started at a job. She has yet to even seek a job.. Most days she isn't even up by the time I am leaving for work (I don't leave early, around 8:30 AM), and while she does laundry and cooks dinner, I feel like she doesn't do an amazing job of cleaning the house.
On top of this, she constantly complains about how I don't treat her kids the same.. For example on weekends when my children are here but hers aren't we tend to do things that cost more.. My reasoning is that she can't afford to pay for her kids so I tend to find free/cheap alternatives that I don't mind paying for. She complains that I don't interact with her kids much.. the reality is I only see them for a few hours after work and I am wiped out after sitting in front of a computer for 8-9 hours a day.. versus I see my kids on the weekend when I am refreshed..
Do I sound unreasonable? Anytime I bring up her not working, she gets angry and withdraws.. I can't really understand why..
Just looking for any input or advice..
I dont know how any person can put themselves in such a situation. Its so extremely bad its like almost unreal.
You know generally guys live with divorced mothers that dont work because they get government assistance, food stamps, section 8, etc. etc. Drop her off at the welfare office.
Just a thought...try not to get her pregnant. That would be the forever meal ticket, which she apparently tried on the guy before you.
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