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True - but realistically OP will either have to give on the requirements he's said several times are not negotiable....or go for a possibly older woman...or take his chances with a younger women who could well change her mind about what she wants out of life. Life is negotiation and a gamble.
You are right it is a big gamble. and i expect a younger girl to change her mind, which is fine, we would establish that when that time comes she is free to end the relationship.
What sites specifically? Is it easy enough to screen for "no kids, don't want"?
Anyone who wants to date some sort of "unicorn" - by that I mean someone with rare attributes of whatever type - probably is best served by online dating, if they can find a site that works for them.
Online dating does look to be the best bet at this point.
What? Kids and marriage? I don't know why he has to give up on those. If he doesn't want kids and marriage, I don't think he has to give up on those. There are plenty of women who don't want to have kids or get married. The OP says he's more flexible on cohabitation, but doesn't want to do that immediately.
I am guessing that someone who doesn't want kids or to get married isn't necessarily going to rush into moving in with someone.
I have a relative who got remarried and I am not sure if she lives with her husband. They started out with a relationship very much like the one the OP wants- mostly long distance. They met through work contacts. My relative is in her mid-40s, so she's not going to be having kids, nor was that on the table when she met her now husband. She has a really travel heavy job and had a more traditional marriage prior to that and it just didn't work out because her ex-husband couldn't handle having a wife on the road all the time.
There are lots of women out there who want what the OP wants. Will they be easy to find? No. Are they out there? Absolutely. I am probably more like the OP wants too, and there are two of us in the same family!
The OP should just keep looking. He might get lucky and find the perfect partner. He might not, and he'll have to come to terms with that. Like another poster said, when you are looking for a unicorn, you have to cast a wide net, be patient, and hope you get lucky.
I don't really feel that women who meet his requirements are as rare as unicorns. There's probably more women out there who share his views than he realizes.
I normally go for girls who are younger than me (last girl i dated was 24 going on 25 while i was 29 going on 30) you are correct that younger girls are thinking that far ahead and you could date them for a bit before her biological clocks starts ticking and you both know at that point its time to split. nothing wrong with being friends.
I guess I am an alien. Coz the OP has not said what his beliefs are and everyone seems to know what it is? Well OP, what exactly is your belief? Browsing on the thread I though it's religion. But realize it actually is more on not having kids?
NVM. LOL. I reread the post. Wow no kids no marriage no living together holy crap you got the holy trinity of being a hermit. But you want to get laid at the same time?!
You are a tough one. All you really have to do is be honest upfront. My husband have been anal on him not wanting to have any kids anymore.
It actually was his deal breaker. He wanted me to make sure it will be ok with me that once I marry him, I will never have kids.
I already was in my 40s anyway so I agreed. Though I wanted to have kids, of course. But something traumatic happened between us that I told him me made me not want to have kids ever.
There are still times it pains me that I won't have kids but really at my age, I really think it best for me not to reproduce anymore. The chances are really slim anyway. And is not advisable.
You sure do spend a lot of time living in fear of other people's choices.
It's not about fearing other people's choices. It's about fearing for myself. Because everybody in my social circle (outside of Meetup, at least) got into relationships that are highly sedate and joined at the hip 24/7. Not to mention, women my age (early 30's) require that lifestyle from their boyfriends, even though it's nowhere near what I want. So who's to say I won't end up just like that with my next SO? My concerns are perfectly justified.
I normally go for girls who are younger than me (last girl i dated was 24 going on 25 while i was 29 going on 30) you are correct that younger girls are thinking that far ahead and you could date them for a bit before her biological clocks starts ticking and you both know at that point its time to split. nothing wrong with being friends.
I think you and I have a different concept of what being in a "committed relationship" means. This doesn't remotely describe committed relationship unless you think that "until I change my mind" is a commitment.
Can you elaborate on what a committed relationship means to you?
I suspect that what you really mean is that you are looking for an exclusive, monogamous, uncommitted relationship.
Recently I have really been thinking about my love life and why I have never had a real relationship (I dated a girl for about 6 months but we were never official). and I realized that my beliefs may have a huge reason as to why I haven't had a real relationship and why I may never have a real relationship. For me personally, I do not want to get married, have kids or co-habitate. I understand that these are deal breakers for most woman. I would like to have a long term relationship at some point in my life (I am 30 will be 31 in December) but I wonder if my beliefs will prevent that from ever happening, I will not change my feelings on these three topics as I would not be honest and true to myself if I did. Any honest advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
My guess is that the best woman for you is your mother.... Go back home, and enjoy her taking care of you for the rest of your life.... but NOTE: I am not suggesting a incestuous relationship... Good luck!!!!
You are right it is a big gamble. and i expect a younger girl to change her mind, which is fine, we would establish that when that time comes she is free to end the relationship.
Changing her mind is far from the only gamble you take getting involved with a young and fertile woman when you are trying to avoid any actual commitment
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