My mom's friend is intimate with her husband once a day is this normal?? (long-term, lesbian)
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OP, what's normal for one couple is not necessarily normal for another couple. I'd guess that most married people of 13 years probably aren't having sex daily. But some newlyweds may be having sex 3 or 4 times daily. It all depends on the couple.
Regardless, you shouldn't feel like you will be required to have sex daily when you get married. You should only do it as often as you want to, and not because you've heard you need to meet some quota to keep the guy happy.
But, would you have been okay with it if she told you she didn’t want to have sex with you often? I feel like sex drive subsides with age, I remember reading something about that in relation to menopause? I don’t know why but I just feel like after getting married, I would be uncomfortable having sex often. Especially after having kids what if they overheard? I don’t know. I also am weird when it comes to intimacy.
You won't know until you get there. The whole discussion is premature, in that sense.
Sex drive in women actually tends to rev up in the 30's, if they haven't had kids yet. The hormones push women to hurry up and have kids at that age.
I know it's really gross I'm never going to look at her friend the same lol. I wonder how she'd feel if she knew my mom told me that. Funnily enough my mom has no problem talking to me about other people's lives but never lets me in on hers. Like she would never give me the details of her own sex life. Right now though since she doesn't have anyone it's not like there's much to tell but still.
Yeah but, do all guys want to have a lot of sex even after marriage? This is going to sound naive but I kind of thought that people have sex a lot before they get married, and then kinda stop and minimize it after marriage. Especially after having kids. I thought maybe once a year? I don't know. But these people have been married for like 13 years and have two kids. Isn't it normal for them to have it less. Because I know that when I'm married, I won't want to do that every single night. And I'd hate having to be forced to by my husband.
I know this quote is 10 pages of comments ago, but I wanted to put my 2 cents in.
Probably to insure reproduction, Mother Nature instilled a rather strong sexual urge in most people, most likely on average the men more than the women. Getting married and having kids doesn't just magically turn off that urge. What often does happen though is that when it is not so "new" anymore people feel like having it a little less. And when kids get in the picture what lessens it is a combination of the stress of dealing with kids and things like "not wanting them to accidentally walk in the room in the middle of it". More often than not it is the woman in the marriage who wants it less often after all that, but not always.
I am not going to use my own experience on this, but I will say that for some couples every night is normal, for others it is not. What is important is that both partners are OK with whatever frequency makes them both mutually happy. And I agree a marriage based solely on sex, probably won't last, but for the most part a marriage with little or none of it won't either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie.sunshine
But I feel like if someone loves you, they should respect the fact you don't want to have sex as much. They shouldn't just cheat on you. He didn't wait that long either, he's been cheating on her for the past 5 years.
It's one thing if it's like one partner wants it once per (week or month) and the other wants it say 2-4 times per (week or month), but years of celibacy or near-celibacy is extreme and not fair to the other partner. A lot of people don't know this and it would be very hard to prove, but in New York state not having sexual relations for a year is considered grounds for divorce.
All the surveys show that people in their sixties and often seventies, even if they have been married to each other for forty years, often have sex a couple of times a week. They probably prefer not to discuss this with their kids and grandkids, who might be appalled.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 7 Wishes
I know this quote is 10 pages of comments ago, but I wanted to put my 2 cents in.
Probably to insure reproduction, Mother Nature instilled a rather strong sexual urge in most people, most likely on average the men more than the women. Getting married and having kids doesn't just magically turn off that urge. What often does happen though is that when it is not so "new" anymore people feel like having it a little less. And when kids get in the picture what lessens it is a combination of the stress of dealing with kids and things like "not wanting them to accidentally walk in the room in the middle of it". More often than not it is the woman in the marriage who wants it less often after all that, but not always.
I am not going to use my own experience on this, but I will say that for some couples every night is normal, for others it is not. What is important is that both partners are OK with whatever frequency makes them both mutually happy. And I agree a marriage based solely on sex, probably won't last, but for the most part a marriage with little or none of it won't either.
It's one thing if it's like one partner wants it once per (week or month) and the other wants it say 2-4 times per (week or month), but years of celibacy or near-celibacy is extreme and not fair to the other partner. A lot of people don't know this and it would be very hard to prove, but in New York state not having sexual relations for a year is considered grounds for divorce.
I agree. I do think it's Darwin at work when a woman has a child or several, her sex drive completely shuts down, "hey, we've got enough going on here, let's don't pile on more kids".
The male sex drive is still going strong. His body doesn't know he has several kids although his brain does.
Speaking as a long term wife, sometimes you just give 'em sex. It's not that hard. It's not so very unpleasant. He's a great guy, taking care of his family, just because you aren't horny doesn't mean you shouldn't cheerfully give him what he wants. Hell, I don't want to unload the dishwasher either, but I'll do it. Cheerfully.
It’s one thing to discuss your sex life anonymously with a bunch of strangers on the internet and another to discuss it with people you actually know in real life. I can honestly say I have no idea of the quality or quantity of the sex lives of anyone I know, and I don’t want to know, just like my sex life is nobody’s business except my husband and myself. So my suggestion is to stop listening to your friends and quit discussing sex altogether.
I think you have a mature outlook in that you want to wait to lose your virginity with someone very special to you. I did that myself, and 46 years later I have only warm memories and no regrets whatsoever of how it happened or who it happened with.
My only suggestion is don’t worry about something you haven’t experienced. I suspect you might change your ideas about sex after you fall in love with someone who cares for and respects you.
My only suggestion is don’t worry about something you haven’t experienced. I suspect you might change your ideas about sex after you fall in love with someone who cares for and respects you.
This. For the umpteenth time.
I also think, your mother isn't the one to be discussing it with, since she has no qualms about discussing the sex lives of her friends with you. That's pretty weird. It's highly personal information, that's not appropriate to discuss with a teen, IMO.
But from what I've understood, when you take the AI route you don't know the person whose sperm goes inside you. Right? What if a couple is married and they just aren't having sex, but still want kids? Why would that hinder their ability to do IVF?
Oh dear. If you were with a man and wanted to get pregnant but not have sex, he could just place his semen in a paper cup and hand it to you. You insert the semen inside you with a turkey baster or whatnot and bob's your uncle. Many lesbians have used this method to have children. You absolutely can choose the man whose sperm you use (including your own husband if you choose not to have sex). There's no need to waste a bunch of money in an IVF clinic.
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