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Old Today, 03:31 PM
 
4,932 posts, read 1,569,608 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
No, actually what people were suggesting is to move out ONCE YOU ARE PREPARED to do so. What preparations have you made since that advice was given? What research about moving to Vancouver have you done since then? Do you know what your move will cost? Do you have steady work that will pay the bills? Have an affordable place to live? Connections within the industry that will allow you to start your career in it? This is a lot different than shoving some clothes in a backpack and sneaking out without telling anyone and leaving them all to worry about what happened to you.
Well during the time, I was afraid to move cause of the high rents so I decided to stay here, and see if I can get any positions here or learn on film productions here, even for free. But after doing that for quite a while now, I feel that maybe people were right and I should move, but as soon as I suggest to parents or the gf they say no. So if I still should then, now I am trying to figure out the best plan then on how to go about it.

 
Old Today, 03:33 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,643 posts, read 24,230,017 times
Reputation: 49187
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I feel that maybe people were right and I should move, but as soon as I suggest to parents or the gf they say no.
What are their reasons for saying that you shouldn't move, and are they legitimate reasons?
 
Old Today, 03:38 PM
 
4,932 posts, read 1,569,608 times
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I suppose they are, but the more I don't try to advance myself, the more I keep regretting and I was told even by my therapist that if I don't try to go for the career I want, I will always look back and regret it, like I am now, in the future. Is that true though, that I need to advance into the career I want, or I will not be satisfied and not be content?
 
Old Today, 03:38 PM
 
Location: on the wind
7,288 posts, read 3,007,876 times
Reputation: 24648
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Well during the time, I was afraid to move cause of the high rents so I decided to stay here, and see if I can get any positions here or learn on film productions here, even for free. But after doing that for quite a while now, I feel that maybe people were right and I should move, but as soon as I suggest to parents or the gf they say no. So if I still should then, now I am trying to figure out the best plan then on how to go about it.
Somehow I doubt you have done much about researching all this. You keep thinking and dreaming about doing it. Then when things seem difficult or unpleasant, you stop. If you have done the preparatory research present it to your family. If you don't know how to go about it, get help from someone who does know. If you can justify your potential plans, your family and gf will be more likely to support you. They talk you out of it because you don't have anything concrete to offer them.

Endless non-productive cycle. I'm out.

Last edited by Parnassia; Today at 04:01 PM..
 
Old Today, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,643 posts, read 24,230,017 times
Reputation: 49187
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
I suppose they are, but the more I don't try to advance myself, the more I keep regretting and I was told even by my therapist that if I don't try to go for the career I want, I will always look back and regret it, like I am now, in the future. Is that true though, that I need to advance into the career I want, or I will not be satisfied and not be content?
Then you need to take their concerns into account and come up with concrete plans that will prove to them (and to yourself) that this change is practical, necessary, and achievable. Right now your plans sound like that gnome joke from South Park:
- Phase 1: move to Vancouver
- Phase 2: ????
- Phase 3: Success!
 
Old Today, 03:46 PM
 
4,932 posts, read 1,569,608 times
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Oh okay I thought that I am willing to keep going where as other people are trying to get me to stop when it becomes difficult. They even told me that it doesn't matter what plan I come up with and that Vancouver is unliv-able for me no matter what. So I didn't think they would even listen to a plan but I can try to come up with one then. Before I ask the guy to try to help secure a job, I will research the living there more first then.

So far though, I am not seeing places for rent as cheap as I was told by the classmate who lives there though.
 
Old Today, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,132 posts, read 17,454,343 times
Reputation: 41788
A young relative of mine recently moved to a big, expensive city. How did she do it?

First, she had a confirmed job, that paid enough to support herself in that city. Then, she arranged for temporary housing with a friend for several months (to allow her time to adjust and find an apartment). She also renewed her friendship with friends and acquaintances who lived in that city.

After she moved she immediately started joining clubs and meet-up groups, in addition to her full time job, to strengthen her support system. She had savings to pay the first months rent, security deposit and other expenses for her new apartment, as well as the income from her job, but still found that she needed to be extremely frugal (as it is an expensive city). BTW, it took her two months to find an affordable apartment close to public transportation.

And, if she gets into a financial jam or an emergency, she has parents and siblings (as well as friends) who supported her decision to move to that city who will bail her out, loan/give her money, or help in any way that they can help.


I am sure that she will be successful but it takes a lot of planning and a lot of hard work to move to a new city.
 
Old Today, 04:14 PM
 
4,932 posts, read 1,569,608 times
Reputation: 1442
Oh okay thanks, so I can try to get that confirmed job first then, if that's best. How long would a confirmed job give you to look for housing though, if you are to look for housing after? Most jobs want you to start right away though.
 
Old Today, 04:35 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,199 posts, read 56,011,070 times
Reputation: 90188
^^^ go back and read the links I posted on my last post. Then you will have an idea how to start to look for a job in movie industry in Vancouver. There are also links to job sites, housing etc.

You see, if you need to ask others about every, even so little, event in your life, then obviously you are not mature enough to make own decisions. You are, what? mid 30's now?
That's what I meant that you can't move and live by yourself. Especially into a big city. And why it needs to be the most expensive city in Canada? Why not Toronto or Montreal - they are less expensive than Vancouver.

You don't have much clue about daily living, or skills how to solve problems, or how to make decisions. Do you know how to budget your money? How to shop or cook simple meals? You didn't even know how to wash and dry your clothes.
Do you know how to drive in a big city with the worst traffic in Canada? Or how to drive in a bad weather? It rains a lot there.
A 2017 poll ranked Vancouver the worst Canadian city to drive in, based on congestion, road rage, pollution, rate of collisions and cost of parking. Can you handle that?
What if your car die in the middle of the road. Do you know what to do, or you will log into City-Data and ask us for advice? Do you know how to handle even minor life crisis by yourself? It seems that you're asking many trivial questions here, questions that a person without your mental disability would just never even ask.
You see why we are concerned? Why your parents and your GF say NO to your plans?

You can't always ask your friends or strangers on the internet if you should do this or that. You always will get different opinions and you don't know which to follow...
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Last edited by elnina; Today at 04:58 PM..
 
Old Today, 04:52 PM
 
4,065 posts, read 1,734,885 times
Reputation: 8254
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Oh okay thanks, so I can try to get that confirmed job first then, if that's best. How long would a confirmed job give you to look for housing though, if you are to look for housing after? Most jobs want you to start right away though.
It depends on the job. In my current job, I got the offer and literally had to be here (an entirely different state) in 2 weeks. Take it or leave it. I booked myself a cheap hotel and found a place when I got here. However, there is NO REASON for you to do that since you know where you want to move. I was applying to federal jobs all over the country. Have you even checked out Vancouver yet, even on vacation? While I hadnít been to this particular suburban area before where I am working, I at least knew the metropolitan area well enough.
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