Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
capt cave man - how can you say my kids are better off with him. You dont know what kind of a mom I am. I am a great mom. I love my kids. I dont want to pack up and leave everyone and go wild and party and think of only me. I just want to have my own life separate from my childrens father. That does not make me a bad mother or a bad person.
Your last statement finished it for me. Do your kids a favor, give your husband 100% custody and get a divorce NOW. Go have YOUR fun, do what YOU want, and live YOUR life. Just do everything for YOU. No counceling, nothing. Pack your crap and go and don't talk to your husband again, don't even come w/in "binocular sight" of the guy. Best thing you can do for him/kids.
I wish the best for your husband and kids........I'll quit there.
I agree.....so sad. Karma is a.....poopoo though .......what goes around comes around mark my words
capt cave man - how can you say my kids are better off with him. You dont know what kind of a mom I am. I am a great mom. I love my kids. I dont want to pack up and leave everyone and go wild and party and think of only me. I just want to have my own life separate from my childrens father. That does not make me a bad mother or a bad person.
I just want to have my own life separate from my childrens father. There is a way to do this with integrity, but seeing a married man is not it. Heed my words from above "if you insist on being so selfish and continuing along this path you will reap what you sow - believe me, it won't be pretty and it will be something you will have to live with for YEARS. Trust me, your selfishness will come back to haunt you in your childrens choices as adult in ways you cannot even imagine right now."
Ignore what I have written and one day YOU WILL remember it and be very sorry, but by then it will be too late.
i am taking mommyv advise and going to counceling. But I know where my heart is and where it is not. I am hoping my husband will gain some closuer from this.
If you know what the final result will be, then stop wasting his money. If your decision is made, there's no need to consult this thread. You don't need us to tell you that "go ahead, its okay to screw over your husband" because you will NEVER get approval from us here to be a vile, irresponsible wife.
If you know what the final result will be, then stop wasting his money. If your decision is made, there's no need to consult this thread. You don't need us to tell you that "go ahead, its okay to screw over your husband" because you will NEVER get approval from us here to be a vile, irresponsible wife.
Exactly! Why are you on here? Obviously you know your not doing the right thing because if you thought what you were doing was perfectly fine you wouldn't need to continue to seek justification for it.........just as Captain said.....do your husband and kids a favor....
you know what - My feelings are my feelings. I cannot control them. This is the way I feel. I do not love him. I have not loved him for a long time. I have not been happy in this marraige. I thought I was unhappy because I was so big. When I lost all the weight I was still just as unhappy. I was unhappy in my marraige. I have a right to be happy. We all do. How can he really be happy married to someone who is there just because it is her DUTY to do so.
That's fine... your feelings are yours and no one has the right to tell you to change them or think that you can change them at will.
But, there are some neccissary steps you need to take right now. I'm giving you the "How to's" now. You want to leave your husband because you are not happy. So many people have done this before. You're not the first, so just follow the instructions on how to do it in a safe and healthy way so that you can be sure to do it as responsibly as you can.
(1) Stop seeing this guy at work. Realize that things we want aren't good for us. Chocolate, cigarettes, bad boys that are helping us leave our husbands, etc.. You had the will-power to lose weight; you have the will-power to dump this guy. Give yourself a bit more credit from that regard. If you truly don't have it in you, enlist a friend to help you stay away from him. You know he's not good for you and he's a real sleeze for "being there for you" while you're this screwed up. Start seeing him for what he really is... an opportunist who's making a play on an unhappy, married woman. Is this what you're going to lower yourself to? Yes, it's hard to resist, but you can do it.
(2) Go to counseling with your husband. The PROFESSIONAL will help him get through this. All this "I'm scared" talk is a cop out. He seems very dependant on you being with him and that doesn't seem healthy. He's also obsessing about you and I know how horrible that is. It's almost like being stalked on a daily basis. I get that, but he's not going to get any of it unless you communicate. Only a professional can help you both do that. If at the end, you still want out, then so be it. The counselor can help him and you deal with that. There's only positive things to look forward to from counseling. It's eye-opening. That's all. It's not going to change your life or his and it's not going to change how both of you feel, but it will help you both realize where you are and how you got there and if it's time to end it.
(3) Go to counseling by yourself. Everyone needs someone to talk to. I lived through a nightmare of a marriage and used to talk about it to my family and friends and even some co-workers to try to explain awkward conversations they would overhear. It made me miserable because it was all I could think about and no one I spoke to had any answers for me... other than my opinionated family that I really couldn't tell most of the story to because I felt I had to protect him (the father of my kids afterall). Counseling gave me a freedom to talk to someone where I knew I wasn't going to be judged and the person I spoke to would often times set me on a straight path when I was all over the place. For example, sometimes when I was overwhelmed, I would walk into her office and stress in 20 different directions. She would identify the priorities with me and send me off with a clear idea of what I need to do. She didn't force her ideals on me, but drew from my own thoughts to derive my path. It's my opinion that everyone should have someone like this to talk to in their life; even if it's only once a month or two. PLEASE DO THIS IMMEDIATELY.
capt cave man - how can you say my kids are better off with him. You dont know what kind of a mom I am. I am a great mom. I love my kids. I dont want to pack up and leave everyone and go wild and party and think of only me. I just want to have my own life separate from my childrens father. That does not make me a bad mother or a bad person.
You said you wanted to go out w/friends, and you like this guy at work. Doesn't leave much time w/the kids after a divorce, now does it?
IF you are not a bad mother nor a bad person, but can't live w/your husband.......then get the divorce, don't date, and only go out w/friends when the kids are w/their Dad. The kids do not need to see their mom holding hands/kissing/sleeping w/anyone but their loving Dad. IMHO, you can start dating again when they are 21. CONCENTRATE ON THE KIDS! You and your husband will be fine, don't mess up the kids life anymore.
I'd love for you to call Dr. Laura. Let us all know if you do.
I dont plan on bring any men around my children ever. I plan on going out when my kids are with there dad. I hope he will have them every other weekend. and they need that too because they are so close to him. I feel every other weekend and one night a week is good. I am not some terrible mom who is gonna bring around every tom, dick and harry. I love them and want to make this as easy on them as i can
Mommyv you make everything sound so easy. I wish I could be as confident as you are.
I dont plan on bring any men around my children ever. I plan on going out when my kids are with there dad. I hope he will have them every other weekend. and they need that too because they are so close to him. I feel every other weekend and one night a week is good. I am not some terrible mom who is gonna bring around every tom, dick and harry. I love them and want to make this as easy on them as i can
Mommyv you make everything sound so easy. I wish I could be as confident as you are.
She has NOT made it sound easy - hers is just the voice of maturity, experience and wisdom - all things you lack. LEARN FROM HER, FOLLOW HER ADVICE, you are in over your head and don't even know it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.......what goes around comes around 
