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I am single because I hate socializing. I hate small talk and parties. My friends are all married and busy, and I wouldn't go somewhere by myself to try and meet somebody. I haven't found people who are interested in the same things I am. I don't know where to even go to meet someone. Everybody's already taken. My self-esteem is horrible even though I'm an attractive, smart person. That makes it even harder to put myself out there. I would never do online dating again. I met some decent people but I didn't click with any of them. I think a lot of men online are secretly married or lying about something. If I meet someone real it's going to have to be by accident, or through gradual getting-to-know via a job or volunteering. I want to see how someone is during day-to-day life. I don't have the energy to do the whole first date, second date, etc. thing. All the wondering and the mind games and the potential letdown. I just got out of a long relationship a few months ago and I can't imagine going through all the steps again.
Dating is better than sitting around being lonely. It's not that I really enjoy it per se, but I do like meeting new people and the experience will help me for when I meet the right gal again. I'm also not going to have that gal just show up on my doorstep someday, I realize I have to wade in and put in some effort.
I believe, the longer your alone, the more unlonely you become. You get to realize, you, are your own best friend, you become self sufficent, and do not have to depend on anyone else...and the longer your alone, the less you want to share, whatever time we have left, living someone else's idea of what marriage/life should be...most people do not know how to allow others.
But, if you sit and really evaluate, why your alone, and why you want to meet someone, you'll find or at least I did, that a lot of my desires to become one with someone were really co-dependency, not inter-dependency...I can go anywhere by myself now...and it's so wonderful...but then, I've never had a good man so, perhaps that is why my singleness is so seductive?
I like my therapist. He seems to genuinely want to help me. Your post just seems very dismissive to me. Almost like you're saying I can fix myself if I really wanted to. I wish I could...it's not like I haven't tried. There is some serious negative "programming" that I think I need professional help with in terms of positive re-programming.
I'm glad you've found one who can be helpful. I too am wary of therapists in general, but recognize that when you can find a good one, that person can be a godsend. I had some awful ones and one very good one, and I'm not sure if I would've made it through high school without him. Good to read that you're having a positive experience with yours.
I am single because I hate socializing. I hate small talk and parties.
I know just how you feel. All of that is a chore for me, and requires me to be someone I'm not. Other people seem to enjoy it (or are really good at acting like they do), but I won't do it unless I have some compelling reason. Right now it's not worth it to me, so I definitely get where you're coming from.
I believe, the longer your alone, the more unlonely you become. You get to realize, you, are your own best friend, you become self sufficent, and do not have to depend on anyone else...and the longer your alone, the less you want to share, whatever time we have left, living someone else's idea of what marriage/life should be...most people do not know how to allow others.
But, if you sit and really evaluate, why your alone, and why you want to meet someone, you'll find or at least I did, that a lot of my desires to become one with someone were really co-dependency, not inter-dependency...I can go anywhere by myself now...and it's so wonderful...but then, I've never had a good man so, perhaps that is why my singleness is so seductive?
Creme
Good post. Everyone is their own animal and I support everyones decisions as it is their life after all. (As long as you aren't hurting someone else, do what you want is a general code of mine.)
I had a good marriage and have heard that those people are likely to remarry. I honestly cannot see myself not remarrying eventually....it's just going to happen and the lifestyle suits me. I'm also independent but I like to have the best of both worlds IMO.
Sounds like you KNOW yourself. All the best to you.
As for the question... because I can wake up and just decide I wanna go golfing all day and not have to listen to anyone ***** and moan because I didn't do anything constructive.
Then I can go drink beer and not be destroyed for not spending quality time with the SO.
As for the question... because I can wake up and just decide I wanna go golfing all day and not have to listen to anyone ***** and moan because I didn't do anything constructive.
Then I can go drink beer and not be destroyed for not spending quality time with the SO.
On that note... I'm going golfing now.
Right on bro...Being a slave to the man from 9 to 5 is hassle enough. I don't need instructions on my free time.
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