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A guy who takes advantage of a drunk girl had better think twice because most girls have fathers and even brothers and i, for one, would GLADLY spend the rest of my life in jail, to finish off a low life like that.
The women think the guy should be celebate, and he is an STD ridden pig for even thinking about taking advantage of a poor young girl (who is drunk at a party and ready it give it up in a one night stand).
The men say go for it and be safe. The girl is going to have sex with SOMEONE, it might as well be you brother.
Finito.
After getting a summery of the data we can also draw some logical conclusions. Most women seem to not like the idea whereas more men do. What this means is the women who do like this arragement will be servicing many men to satisfy the demand given the relative scarcity of their disposition. That always ruined my sex romp fantasies.
The best way to handle it, is with harems and war. That way the navy will ship off all those frustrated young men while we older men can enjoy an orgy in peace and relatively good hygiene.
I agree if she's passed out completely that's rape. Sorry, I should've been more specific. I meant if she were at least somewhat alert (but above the legal drinking limit) and didn't resist, could she charge him with anything. Maybe Redisca will know.
Rape is defined as sexual penetration without consent. Consent is never presumed. If a woman is unable to give consent (because she is drunk, for example), then having sex with her is rape. This is not to say that being slightly tipsy makes one unable to consent to sex -- you really have to be completely plastered. In short, it depends on the circumstances, and the good rule of thumb is: when in doubt, don't. I think pretty much any 22 year-old who is not mentally retarded or fresh off a religious compound knows this.
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A "hook-up culture" doesn't necessarily mean you get pig-drunk and nail everything and anything that has a pulse. All that the OP is saying is that he wants to go to some parties and have multiple sexual partners. Provided he takes proper health precautions and his conduct does not involve the use of roofies, lying or manipulating women (who, I believe, can think for themselves without others presuming what their choices should be, thankyouverymuch), I don't see what's so objectionable about it. It's a choice. The way I see it, most men at 22 aren't set up to be Lancelots; they aren't set up to be monks, either. And I don't see the OP suggesting that he wants to be disrespectful towards women. We just have to stop thinking that to a woman, sex is inherently degrading unless it's dignified with shared domestic drudgery.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCaliforniaBear
Let me summarize this thread.
The women think the guy should be celebate, and he is an STD ridden pig for even thinking about taking advantage of a poor young girl (who is drunk at a party and ready it give it up in a one night stand).
I am a woman. And I've seen plenty of men on this thread give outrageously prudish advice.
For my first 2 years in college I had a serious girlfriend. Being older now, I realize what a big and damaging mistake that was.
Having a serious, long term girlfriend came at the serious cost of me completely failing to learn how to meet other young girls. I never really learned how to socialize with girls or to flirt because I was already with a girl, and I thought I was going to be with her forever.
It's been 2 years since we split up. I'm 22 now. Most people who started college would have graduated by now but I decided to take the slow road and be a 5 or 6 year student, so I got 2 more years to go.
Still, I've always been envious of guys who get to throw all the wild parties and hook up with tonnes of young freshmen girls and have lots of girlfriends and what not.
I can't help but feel like I've missed out all this time.
I don't live on campus, and I commute, so meeting people is a lot harder for me than living in the dorms. I don't have a big social circle. I don't get invited to parties that often, and when I do, I always feel awkward for not knowing anyone, and can't help but hush up unless I'm around my friends.
I really wish I could live the real college life. I want to tap into "hook up culture." I want to go to parties and make out with random girls and have lots of girlfriends but I don't even know how to make it happen.
What do I have to do? I desperately want to make my last 1 or 2 years in college happy and memorable.
How do I tap into the college hook up culture?
Geez Louise! Some people refuse to grow up! Look buddy. Do this. Reach down there and make sure you have some cojones. Yea? Good! That is supposed to mean you are a MAN. Now act like one. Okay?
The women think the guy should be celebate, and he is an STD ridden pig for even thinking about taking advantage of a poor young girl (who is drunk at a party and ready it give it up in a one night stand).
The men say go for it and be safe. The girl is going to have sex with SOMEONE, it might as well be you brother.
Finito.
You are putting words in peoples mouths - I haven't seen ANYone here say the guy should be celibate.
He's already had a several year long relationship with his ex girlfriend, I think we all know he's no virgin.
What some of us here are saying (women AND a few men) is that "hooking up" is skanky, dangerous in several ways, and not a good plan in general.
You are putting words in peoples mouths - I haven't seen ANYone here say the guy should be celibate.
He's already had a several year long relationship with his ex girlfriend, I think we all know he's no virgin.
What some of us here are saying (women AND a few men) is that "hooking up" is skanky, dangerous in several ways, and not a good plan in general.
Then you want to force the guy into another relationship against his will? Because that is the only way he is allowed to have sex. It's either that or hookin up.
Then you want to force the guy into another relationship against his will? Because that is the only way he is allowed to have sex. It's either that or hookin up.
Why does it have to be "either celibacy or hooking up"??? That's silly.
Here's a tip - in life if you practice MODERATION in everything your life will be far more balanced, healthy and enjoyable.
No one here has suggested this young man become a celibate monk But going to the far extreme of that by hooking up with a new girl every night of the week is very irresponsible, immature and unhealthy.
Rape is defined as sexual penetration without consent. Consent is never presumed. If a woman is unable to give consent (because she is drunk, for example), then having sex with her is rape. This is not to say that being slightly tipsy makes one unable to consent to sex -- you really have to be completely plastered. In short, it depends on the circumstances, and the good rule of thumb is: when in doubt, don't. I think pretty much any 22 year-old who is not mentally retarded or fresh off a religious compound knows this.
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A "hook-up culture" doesn't necessarily mean you get pig-drunk and nail everything and anything that has a pulse. All that the OP is saying is that he wants to go to some parties and have multiple sexual partners. Provided he takes proper health precautions and his conduct does not involve the use of roofies, lying or manipulating women (who, I believe, can think for themselves without others presuming what their choices should be, thankyouverymuch), I don't see what's so objectionable about it. It's a choice. The way I see it, most men at 22 aren't set up to be Lancelots; they aren't set up to be monks, either. And I don't see the OP suggesting that he wants to be disrespectful towards women. We just have to stop thinking that to a woman, sex is inherently degrading unless it's dignified with shared domestic drudgery.
I am a woman. And I've seen plenty of men on this thread give outrageously prudish advice.
Agreed, as I said earlier, I don't care if people sleep around, I really don't think it's a big deal. What I am concerned with is that high school girls get into those frat parties (I did in high school) and that might get the OP in legal trouble. That's why I suggested bars/clubs instead, so he can be more certain that they are of age.
Even though the OP didn't directly state anything involving respect, it's fairly obvious that respect isn't high on his list of priorities. He's looking at girls in only the sexual component. He just wants to get around as much as possible. I find it hard to have a lot of respect for someone that is undiscerning when it comes to his/her sexual partners. When I know a guy will have sex with pretty much any girl, it turns me off.
EVERY guy I know that has sex with lots and lots of girls generally doesn't have much respect for them. I strongly agree with those who said that sex is not degrading and shouldn't be made out as if it is. However, I think the way some people view and use sex can make it degrading in their particular situation. The "hook-up culture" makes out sex to be something insignificant - practically nothing - that has no meaning between the two people who are engaging in it. I think that in itself is degrading to sex. I'm far from a prude but I strongly believe that you should at least LIKE and have some type of respect for the person you're about to have sex with. If all someone wants to do is get off, then there are other outlets.
Last edited by mango tango; 09-03-2009 at 02:12 PM..
Even though the OP didn't directly state anything involving respect, it's fairly obvious that respect isn't high on his list of priorities. He's looking at girls in only the sexual component. He just wants to get around as much as possible.
I'm not a prude by any means but EVERY guy I know that has sex with lots and lots of girls generally doesn't have much respect for them.
Well it goes both ways, if the girls are sleeping around too (which I assume in hook-up culture they would be) then they don't have any respect for men either. Though I don't think that's true, I think it's possible to sleep around yet still have respect for the opposite sex. I know plenty of people who do.
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It's either that or hookin up.
