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I know where you are coming from...I grew up in a devout Catholic family and my education was in catholic schools..For a long time I stayed in the closet and told no one..I still tread on eggshells at times around some family members, but others have joined me in my disbelief...I no longer allow any of them to judge me....That was hard at first, but they eventually got the message and the judging stopped.
lilred...go ahead and live your life the way you want. As long as you are a good person you will be ok. I am sorry you had to go through whatever it was you went through to reach your conclusion. God understands...even if you no longer believe in him.
Good luck to you. And BTW, I am one of those darned Mormons!
Thanks again to EVERYONE who has supported me or given me advice, I am pleasantly suprised no religious folk have castigated my choice. As far as the poster who asked me to pray and only seek answers from the Bible, she/ he did not respond w/ malice and truthfully thinks she is saving me from eternal damnation. This is what I mean by fear. It is very true that I have been indoctrinated since I could walk, I went to Catholic school from 2nd grade thru H.S., and losing that fear of judgement and ETERNAL damnation is proving most difficult. I know intellectually that it is not true but I fear it may take some time to feel completely at ease.
If this is what you were taught, your church has misled you! As a Christian, I have no fear of eternal damnation. When I die, I will be with Jesus forever! Why? Because He took my place on the cross. There should be no fear in Christianity.
If you are really open-minded about your decision, read the book of John, all by yourself. Ask God to reveal it's meaning to you. I hope you won't give up on Jesus. He loves you!
LilRed! Listen: your beliefs and disbeliefs almost exactly mirror my own. But you do NOT to end your entire relationship with Christianity--or organized religion. You simply need to find a more liberal church to attend. Churches like the Unitarians, or Unity, or any number of non-denominational, New Testament-based churches are out there for people exactly like yourself. I was raised Catholic, but ceased attending as soon as my parents stopped forcing me. But I always felt a hole in my spiritual life and thus spent years searching for the right Church. I simply could not buy all the dogma from the mainstream fundamental denominations. The Unitarians mostly leave your personal beliefs up to you, and base their teachings on Jesus' words only--and even then, very loosely. They rightly reject most of the Old Testament as Jewish mythology and symbolism and allegory, believing that it is pretty much absurd to take it literally. But see, fundies are also welcome in their church, but there are few, for obvious reasons.
The Unitarians channel most of their energy into doing good work in the community, and living good lives.
BTW--I'm not trying to hype them at all here. It just sounds like it might be a good fit for you.
Peace.
If this is what you were taught, your church has misled you! As a Christian, I have no fear of eternal damnation. When I die, I will be with Jesus forever! Why? Because He took my place on the cross. There should be no fear in Christianity.
If you are really open-minded about your decision, read the book of John, all by yourself. Ask God to reveal it's meaning to you. I hope you won't give up on Jesus. He loves you!
There is plenty in the New testament thats awful as well.
Its either the word of God, or its not. If its not the word of God, then its no better than any other philosophy book, and the stories should be taken only at face value, not as gospel.
After years of difficult soul searching, I have decided to end my relationship with organized religion, specifically Christianity. I believe in God, whether it be an entity or entities, or a natural force, with all my heart and soul. I would be a lost soul without my faith, however, I do not feel I can obtain spiritual fufilment(sp?) by following blindly organized religion. My disillusionment with Christianity was painful at first, but now that I have accepted it, I feel free. My main issues with Christianity are as follows: I can't follow a group that thinks it knows, or has figured out everything about life and the divine. I don't believe there is "one true Faith" and "one true" spiritual path. I can't deal with a group that is so obviously misogynistic and had no room for women. I don't believe the Bible came directly from God and that it should be taken literally. The Bible was obviously written by powerful, educated men who used it as a tool to manipulate and keep the uneducated masses in line. I can't deal with a religion that views mankind(especially women) as inherently evil(sin) and weak, slaves to their base natures. Finally(I could go on but you get the major points), I don't believe that ONLY Christians will be saved and that everyone else, no matter how good, pious, and selfless, will BURN, or that the only way to salvation is to declare alliegence to Jesus. Those "saved" ppl can now never lift a finger to help others because "good works won't get you into Heaven" and no matter what they have done in the past(child rape, et al), all is forgiven but the Pagan/Hindi/Buddist who helps his fellows and is moral is condemned for Eternity. These are the major reasons why I can no longer call myself a Christian. If I BURN, so be it ; I followed my heart. ...lil red...... Btw, I am very sorry for the single paragraph. My PDA removes all the paragraph spaces. Thank you.
There are many of us who belong to this faith. I think it is a wise decision.
Yes, take a look at Christianity from the perspective of the bible...That will surely seal the deal for you...Below is some of God's love revealed...
One of many verses on the treatment of women.
If ... no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of the town shall stone her to death. (Deuteronomy 22:20-21)
On slavery...
"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly." (Leviticus 25:44-46)
On Children..
If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. ... Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
"If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over. You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters." (Leviticus 26:27-29)
On marriage..
If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are both discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)
On the value of women...( I assume this is how values of slaves were set.)
Set the value of a male between the ages of twenty and sixty at fifty shekels of silver, according to the sanctuary shekel; and if it is a female, set her value at thirty shekels. If it is a person between the ages of five and twenty, set the value of a male at twenty shekels and of a female at ten shekels. If it is a person between one month and five years, set the value of a male at five shekels of silver and that of a female at three shekels of silver. If it is a person sixty years old or more, set the value of a male at fifteen shekels and of a female at ten shekels. (Leviticus 27:3-7)
Beware though, for if you turn away from Christianity there is this....
If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, "Let us go and worship other gods" ..., do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him. You must certainly put him to death. Your hand must be the first in putting him to death, then the hands of all the people. Stone him to death, because he tried to turn you away from the Lord your God, ... (Deuteronomy 13:10. See also 1 Kings 21:10)
Now, this is just scary! Especially the eating of your sons and daughters. How can even the most devout Christians think this is ok?
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As long as you are a good person you will be ok. I am sorry you had to go through whatever it was you went through to reach your conclusion. God understands...even if you no longer believe in him. 
