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Old 05-09-2014, 09:47 AM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,839 posts, read 18,855,957 times
Reputation: 33746

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This thread is another example of why I don't hang out in this forum very much anymore. It's hateful. Why a poor, struggling single mother, whether she is divorced, widowed, or "got in trouble" as we used to say, isn't worthy of some human kindness is beyond me. Even if she had the child/ren out of wedlock, this is not 1950 when she would have been considered a pariah. Let's see, in the 1950s in the South, black kids were not allowed to ride the school bus. This thread reminds me of that mindset.

And if an elderly person who can't easily afford the upkeep on their house can't get a little bit of help from the neighbors or the community, then this is a sorry commentary of what is happening in this country. If the person lives in the north and needs snow removal in winter and lawn mowing/hedge trimming in summer, it's only common sense that people would help the person out. It could mean the difference between staying in their beloved home or going into an institution.

When I was growing up we always helped the elderly neighbors. If they had needed help that cost money--like snow plowing, someone with a snowblower (shovel, back in those days) would have gladly done their driveway. If they needed lawn mowing, a neighbor (or-horrors) a teenager would have done it for them. Mostly our elderly neighbors just needed some assistance with a minor repair. One elderly neighbor used to stop by to retrieve her home frozen vegetables from our freezer since she didn't have one. YES, she could have afforded one, but she didn't have to buy one because we didn't mind sharing AND it gave her a chance to come over and visit with my mother for a few minutes every few days. It's called being neighborly.
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:55 AM
 
Location: California
4,554 posts, read 5,470,957 times
Reputation: 9608
So, the deal is that old should not be old, and the young should try birth control?

Compassion for older folks who have lived, worked, and paid their share for a lifetime, shouldn't even be something to argue about. If someone choses to voluteer to help an older person it speaks volumes about their character and ability to reach out to someone who has contributed to society.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:00 AM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,871,258 times
Reputation: 11705
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddy52 View Post
You are correct.

The younger mother did .

The elderly woman did not and her name got brought up at our committee meeting as an example that we must have a list of volunteers for any elderly home owners.
Your OP and original question was a very good one, unfortunately in many ways it got taken elsewhere. The elderly lady is just that, the single mom is just that and your board is implementing policy and your point was about the board differentiating in general about the elderly needing volunteer help in general. A very good question about HOA behavior.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:01 AM
 
3,438 posts, read 4,732,531 times
Reputation: 5402
What I don't understand is why lawn mowing should be considered a volunteer job but if an elderly person with means needs an oil change, they usually are advised of a reasonably priced place that provides that service.

Our town has numerous lawn care services besides individuals willing to mow lawns at low rates ( we have very few job opportunities here)

I guess my take is if you want to hand out citations or sympathy, be level handed and don't pick and choose because may times the ones you pick could easily afford hiring it done.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:08 AM
 
10,817 posts, read 8,063,256 times
Reputation: 17029
Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
This thread is another example of why I don't hang out in this forum very much anymore. It's hateful. Why a poor, struggling single mother, whether she is divorced, widowed, or "got in trouble" as we used to say, isn't worthy of some human kindness is beyond me. Even if she had the child/ren out of wedlock, this is not 1950 when she would have been considered a pariah. Let's see, in the 1950s in the South, black kids were not allowed to ride the school bus. This thread reminds me of that mindset.

And if an elderly person who can't easily afford the upkeep on their house can't get a little bit of help from the neighbors or the community, then this is a sorry commentary of what is happening in this country.
I completely agree with what you say about single mothers, and that a couple of comments here about them are hateful.

Where did you see a post saying someone's not in favor of helping elderly persons who are experiencing financial difficulties?
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Glenbogle
730 posts, read 1,027,323 times
Reputation: 1046
I've honestly never heard of any resource in my area that would offer to do things like lawn care for the elderly homeowner for free. Furthermore I don't think anyone would think to ask for a freebie for this.

That said, I have no hesitation to tell a lawn service that charges more than I can afford, that I'm living on a small SS payment and can't afford to pay more than $35. If they want to lower their price in consideration of that, then fine. If not, then I don't hire them. End of story.

But to expect anyone to do it for free (regardless of whether you're elderly or a single mom or a little green man from Mars) because of your personal circumstances? Sorry but I just don't see any justification.

ETA: In our area, HOAs are very uncommon (thank goodness). But when someone moves into an HOA they should be aware of their obligations under the rules. If the HOA wants to provide a free service so that someone can comply with the rules when they otherwise would not be able (because of either finances or health), then I think that is admirable because the alternative would be (if I understand correctly) a fine or legal action. However, I would think that the HOA can set whatever guidelines it wants, as long as it doesn't discriminate in violation of Federal laws. It's like a little fiefdom, IMHO. Which is one of the reasons I would never really want to live in one, lol

Last edited by Never2L8; 05-09-2014 at 10:37 AM..
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:10 AM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,581 posts, read 10,923,342 times
Reputation: 19215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddy52 View Post

The elderly woman did not and her name got brought up at our committee meeting as an example that we must have a list of volunteers for any elderly home owners.
You should be ashamed of yourselves. You don't need any lists. The members of your committee should do it themselves without any urging. When the neighbors see you they'll start to do it. We don't have committees where I live; neighbors just take care of each other. Cutting grass takes very little time. You have time for a "committtee" and a message board; you know darn well that you have time to cut her grass.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:10 AM
 
29,782 posts, read 34,871,258 times
Reputation: 11705
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teddy52 View Post
What I don't understand is why lawn mowing should be considered a volunteer job but if an elderly person with means needs an oil change, they usually are advised of a reasonably priced place that provides that service.

Our town has numerous lawn care services besides individuals willing to mow lawns at low rates ( we have very few job opportunities here)

I guess my take is if you want to hand out citations or sympathy, be level handed and don't pick and choose because may times the ones you pick could easily afford hiring it done.
That's how I read your original OP and it would appear to be the correct legal position for a HOA board.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Glenbogle
730 posts, read 1,027,323 times
Reputation: 1046
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi60 View Post
My experience is specific to the Bay Area which leaves me puzzled about some of the responses. We are recently retired and have noticed with the passing years that some see us targets. When we called a company to have our leaky water heater looked at, the punk who arrived just said we spilled water and walked off. The second company replaced the water heater but what we didn't know until a year later, when it also leaked, was that it was refurbished. Repair people that have come to our home have stolen our tools and taken a deposit only to disappear. It also seems the medical community likes to make seniors wait by using Medicare rationing and then trying to sell us expensive tests which we very clearly do not need.

To anyone who honestly helps a senior, thank you. Living on fixed income and not knowing who to trust is a problem for many. It isn't always about just paying a fair price. If you don't want to give a senior a hand then please don't as there is no reason to complain it after the fact.
I wish I could rep you 10x for the entire post!

And IMHO the problem is compounded, or at least more likely, if the senior is a woman on her own.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Glenbogle
730 posts, read 1,027,323 times
Reputation: 1046
Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
If they had needed help that cost money--like snow plowing, someone with a snowblower (shovel, back in those days) would have gladly done their driveway. If they needed lawn mowing, a neighbor (or-horrors) a teenager would have done it for them.
When I grew up on the LI of the 1950s and 1960s, it was common during the summer to see the neighborhood kids mowing their lawn and also a couple of others, for somewhere between $5 and $10. And whenever it snowed there were always kids going up and down the street with shovels, ringing the doorbell of whoever hadn't yet shoveled their driveway and/or walkway, asking "Want you driveway shoveled?". And yes the newspaper was delivered by a kid on a bicycle. ;-)

Not one of those things happen in most neighborhoods on LI anymore. Kids don't mow lawns (if their parents don't hire a service, then the parent does it themselves). And they certainly don't want to shovel snow. The newspaper (if not online) is tossed from the window of a car or van.

During the winter of 2010 when I was undergoing chemo and not in any shape to shovel (ha) but had to be sure to be able to get to my weekly appt regardless of how many feet Mother Nature had dumped on us, I called everyone I knew in the area to ask if they knew any kids or teenager who would be willing to just shovel out my 40-ft long driveway so that I could get out of the house if I needed to. Not one did. And none of them offered to come and give me a hand themselves either.ne neighbor gave me the number of her lawn guy who plows their lawn, so in desperation I called him. Sure, he said, he'd do it the next morning. Took about 5 minutes. I asked him how much and he said "Don't worry about it." The following week I got a bill in the mail for $280.

It's an every-man/woman-for-themselves world out there when it comes to lawns and snow shoveling, sorry.
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