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Sometimes i think the hairdressers are at fault, they only see us as short back and sides, i now have a short bob for my very fine hai,r easy to manage, having said that some older woman look beautiful with very short hair, some, not so good also depends on the cut. Judy Dench comes to mind.
Yes, as I mentioned, it comes down to face shape and how well hair is cut. (This applies to men, too). Style, hair texture and length needs to be considered, yet some may not care if a style or cut suits their face shape or texture. Also, how does anyone know that someone might be walking around with a shorter cut they didn't choose that they are stuck with for a time? It doesn't mean that one necessarily loves what a hairdresser did to them.
Escort Rider - perhaps I can explain the anger to you. For us women, from the time we can process ideas we are bombarded with the message that you are being judged by how you look, how pretty you are and what men think of you. I know that men also feel this pressure but not to the extent of women. Many of us were raised in the era where we were considered a failure if we didn't get married by age 25. We were taught that the opinion of men was very important to our existence and many of us have resented it. It may not be rational-but it is very real. Now that we have reached the age (and the cultural changes) where we don't care about strangers opinions (or at least not care as much) we do get angry when someone criticizes our looks.
This is true, the imbalance of it all. Women are not imagining what goes on and are not in control of this projection and conditioning that has existed forever it seems and can wear away at one's self-esteem, even if good looking. Words or phrases such as "younger", "youthful", "anti-aging", "age-defying", "thinner", "slimmer", "sexier" - dominate advertising marketed toward females (always depicting young women as the end result, by using their product). In fact, most advertising in general will not depict a woman over a certain age. Not just this, but the overabundance of sexually-related female imagery which has grown over the years to be included in many magazines, porn, other ads, but musical performances. If females are sent these messages from the time they can see and hear, what does anyone expect? (As well as boys being shown what they should expect of females).
Some men apparently think nothing of judging, flippantly making cracks, calling women "dogs", "dykes", "too old", "too fat", etc. It's amazing. I have read remarks on this site for instance, that "everybody knows that it is over for woman after the age of 30" or that "female ages of 16-28 is all that matters". Not only is it laughable, but also sad that this is what men may believe and that they have been indoctrinated in this way.
There has not been anything equaling this level of focus upon males. In fact, it appears that men can appear fairly secure within themselves, even if unattractive, due to a lack of bombardment of betterment toward them through advertisements. I have wondered how it would be, if for enough of a stretch of time it was switched to having this focus be toward males, with the majority of advertisements, etc., being directed at men in such a way to have them begin doubting themselves. Some sound like they are having a rough time despite that...("can't get the hot girls.. time to end it").. how might they like being told by constant projections that they "need to be young and physically and facially perfect, or else they are non-existent"?
I saw another one today. A lady about my age that cut most of her hair off. It was no more than an inch long all over her head. I don't get it? IMHO, it certainly doesn't make them more attractive. Yet I see women who do this who obviously do other things and spend money to make themselves look better, but then cut their hair mostly off. I didn't think hair was that big a maint. thing. Maybe the ladies can explain?
I know I responded once a while back, but I want to reiterate how possibly some women may have either had Cancer as some mentioned, possibly got a shorter cut than they requested OR just chose to have it that way for whatever reason. Maybe they don't want to deal with styling, as some said. The bottom line is, they should be free finally to do what they want, usually having spent lives trying to please men and are over it.
I could too say, "I saw another one today, an older, portly man who had long, gray hair down to his waist, in a ponytail. I don't get it. It certainly doesn't make them more attractive". (Men who also might want a young, hot female).
Well, I don't get it... but I don't feel it is something to begin a topic about.
"Besides, what does sex drive, or lack of it, have to do with haircuts?"
Well, very simply, long hair can be a lot of work (with some cuts, short hair can be more work) so if being sexual is no longer a high priority, many will opt for the lower-maintenance hairstyle since attracting sex partners isn't as important as it once was. As I say, if that part of your life is over, RELAX.
Women who expend tons of money and energy on their appearance just to go to the grocery store or hang out with their girlfriends have always made me SMH! It's not "for yourself" because you can't see yourself (d'oh). It's obviously because you think you need artifice in order to be socially acceptable. I personally feel perfectly presentable in my natural state. Fortunately, because I save a lot of time and money that way!
As for the anger and defensiveness here, that's ALWAYS fear-based (just like with dogs).
As for men's hair....what is it with the ones that grow out scraggly long hair and beards, wear leather vests and ride Harley's? Large beer belly hanging over the belt.
I watched this PBS doc about a Vietnam vet. Poor guy. But his poor wife too. In one scene she was begging him to please use shampoo on the beard, not just water. With the face she was making, you could imagine the smell!
My roommate is also a Vietnam vet, but he better keep that face shaved and wear decent clothes, and watch that figure! Lol. We all have our preferences.
My wife never wears heels or tight dresses. That only defines TVs version of sexy, like a Sophia Vagaro (sp?) .
many years ago we were featured in a story in money magazine .
cnn sent a team of photographers to our house to get just one shot of us for the magazine .
they had a make up person and production guy too.
well my wife is in the bedroom and all her clothes are all over the bed and i keep hearing the make up woman going don't you have anything less tight or not so low cut ?
they wanted her to dress so conservatively for the photo that she didn't even own anything that conservative . we were all cracking up hearing them .
"Besides, what does sex drive, or lack of it, have to do with haircuts?"
Well, very simply, long hair can be a lot of work (with some cuts, short hair can be more work) so if being sexual is no longer a high priority, many will opt for the lower-maintenance hairstyle since attracting sex partners isn't as important as it once was. As I say, if that part of your life is over, RELAX.
Women who expend tons of money and energy on their appearance just to go to the grocery store or hang out with their girlfriends have always made me SMH! It's not "for yourself" because you can't see yourself (d'oh). It's obviously because you think you need artifice in order to be socially acceptable. I personally feel perfectly presentable in my natural state. Fortunately, because I save a lot of time and money that way!
As for the anger and defensiveness here, that's ALWAYS fear-based (just like with dogs).
I never got into the heavy makeup scene. I stick to a light foundation, mascara and lipstick. I at least want my skin to look smooth and not blotchy. I think that most of the ones that wear a lot of makeup do do it for themselves. Its a ritual they picked up when young and they stick to it.
I had a roommate once that would get up at 4am to get ready for work. We were at a "remote" air force site in Sicily. Yea - what a hardship! But that was just her personality.
The "I do it for myself" argument is a specious one... It's because women feel better about themselves with the reassurance than OTHERS will feel better about them when they look better. Really, if you were on a desert island totally alone without a mirror and wouldn't bother, then you're NOT doing it "for yourself," but for others in particular or society in general or simply because most people are terribly uncomfortable *not* conforming to the so-called norm in every way... That, and Madison Avenue advertising is very effective in making women feel unacceptable in their natural state, which is SAD...
I've read most of the thread and commented more than once, here is one of my posts:
I got a little snarky there , but I wouldn't have if the OP had just made a generic remark about how he likes long hair and wonders why some women like their hair short. But instead, the title of his thread is: "Women with men's haircuts in your senior years? I don't get it." and then he elaborates in his first post.. IMO it's slightly offensive and while I don't think anyone got nasty with the OP, but some people did push back, including myself, and I think it was justified.
There was plenty of nastiness, but I'm not going back through 300 posts to find it and quote it for you. Isn't the sentence which I quoted from memory and placed in quotation marks nasty enough to qualify? ("Who gives a sh__ what you think?") (Or the word "who" might have been "nobody").
In any case, I am not claiming you were nasty and I appreciate your civility in replying to me.
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