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That is precisely why older women should team up with a single older gay gentleman.
Imagine the stylish brunch dates and cocktails al fresco, driving through the countryside checking out antique shops, theater matinees, and long discussions about art, literature, poetry, gardening, and philosophy!
I would love this! And I'm sure laughter would be plentiful!
For whatever reason it seems men are able to remarry much easier then women. I feel that if I ever lost a spouse that I truly loved I don't even think I would want to remarry, and I am a man! I feel it would almost be an insult to the memory of the woman I married, and I would focus on my children, my job, my health.
Anyway, I think women are just pretty content to be single if something happens to their spouse or they are divorced. I knew one elderly woman whom in her 70s had her husband divorce her. I was close friends with this woman and she would tell me about how MANY men from her different clubs and activities would flirt with her and asked her on dates. Even divorced though, she did not want to find another partner, and she was perfectly content just living single and spending time with her children, grandchildren, and pursuing her own interests. Really, just being active in children's or grandchildren's lives is enough to fill your days!
He should try volunteering and getting with groups of like-minded people, you know, like single's groups.
I certainly don't want to speak for women, but I doubt they find men irrelevant. They might find dating or perhaps even serious relationships irrelevant, but that is not the same thing.
I was widowed at 58; my Husband of 26 yrs was 11 yrs older than me. I probably would have said the same things as you prior to his death. Didn't think I'd need another spouse, whatever. I had just retired from a good career; I was very independent. After 18 mos , hanging out with family and "the girls" got old. I was dying to just go to dinner with a Man! When you are with someone a long time (happily) and then you're alone, you don't know what to do with yourself. You also miss, not just sex but the touch, look of another person. There are a lot of women on this thread that don't like men and you can tell by their comments but if you've been happily married awhile, it's a different story. Now 62 and getting married next year.
Are you, perchance, one of the aging Desperate Housewives? Looking at a $100K IRA and $800/mo in Social Security? Inquiring minds want to know.
FWIW, I work in a "men's environment". I am a technical manager. I've got a lotta dough. I like men. Less drama, more outcome-orientation than working in pink collar domains.
The fact that I would not consider adopting another husband has nothing whatsoever to do with liking men.
I imagine there may be a man or two who've read this thread saying huh? Whatcha mean, you women live to wait on us men lol.
My uncle, 85 years old believes woman belong in the kitchen and are for procreation. He calls all woman stupid and very outspoken about how he thinks. Before my dad got sick and was going to help me with college he told my dad not to waste his money sending me to college. hmm, and he wonders what are wrong with women and why he couldn't find what he calls "a good woman".
LMAO
My brother is exactly the same way. My mom never worked a day in her life after she got married, kept the house so clean you could eat off the floors, cooked, did laundry, picked up the clothes on the floor, made the beds, asked how high when my dad said jump....my brother wants a wife like that too and can't figure out why he's not married.
I gave this hint to my brother: today those women are called M A I D S and they make more than you can afford to pay them!
Are you, perchance, one of the aging Desperate Housewives? Looking at a $100K IRA and $800/mo in Social Security? Inquiring minds want to know.
FWIW, I work in a "men's environment". I am a technical manager. I've got a lotta dough. I like men. Less drama, more outcome-orientation than working in pink collar domains.
The fact that I would not consider adopting another husband has nothing whatsoever to do with liking men.
Right....she totally misconstrued a lot of the comments. I love men, especially men with a great sense of humor! Still doesn't mean I'm physically attracted to a guy in his 70's or am looking for man to complete my life. And whoever put the caveat in above about not minding sex as much as "bad" sex -- that's right on. I had an opportunity recently after a long, ahem, hiatus shall we say, but it was going to be very complicated. And the thought of dealing with all the complications and then finding out the guy was a dud....well, it just wasn't worth it. Still on hiatus.....
I'm honestly surprised this thread got the legs and traction it did as it morphed from women finding men irrelevant, to open season on troglodyte males that have wrecked a woman's perception of male companionship, apparantly forever! Irrelevant and marriage are different topics, IMHO, but I see how one leads to the other. Not very complicated to understand IMHO, though I agree it is much harder to execute..
..if you had an unhappy marriage (s) you find men (women) too much trouble. If you had a domineering spouse (eiher way), you are finally free, and would rather pursue your own happiness. In general, men have always been more of a slave to the physical than the emotional than women. Both sexes have plenty of examples of being needy or dependent, which often breeds resentment. The dominant typically has less to complain about than the submissive, but by definition that is not a partnership in life. There are plenty of submissive men and women, that enjoy doing things to make their spouse happy, which typically only happens when the non submissive spouse provides the intellectual, emotional and often physical support the submissive person desires.
For example, my parents had an unhappy marriage, mainly that my mother was a bit of a $1ut, and a gambler, and my father more ignorant and simply had near zero ability to emotionally support her (or his kids), and had endured years of belittlement, so had withdrawn in to his own needs. But we don't choose are parents and I don't blame them for who they were, they were more a product of their upbringing. When they divorced in their 60s, my mother predictably went through a few boyfriends (and most of her setlement) for sex and fun, and my father predicably retreated in to his own little world of doing as he pleased without criticism. Neither was lonely in their own definitions, and my mom never found men irrelevant, but marriage was never even a remote consideration, and still isn't for my father (mom has passed away, thanks to her vices at, 68). But he found himself persued by a few women, mainly for financial stability and hes not even remotely well off, just comfortable, and they predictably didn't last long once the obvious reared its ugly head. Until one woman, happily married for many years and then widowed by cancer, took the time to gently teach him that not all people are looking to take advantage of you or control you, and companionship is so much better when it's a two way street. He's been living with his "girlfriend" now for 2 years, both in their mid 70s, and she has done more for him and his happiness and emotional turnaround than I ever thought possible. She is MUCH better off financially than he is, and they keep finances separate, but he actually sold his house and moved in with her. I scarcely recognize the person he has become thanks to her, and she certainly seems very happy to have a good man back in her life after being alone for 5 years.
My point is, people are wildly different and until the right person comes along, which unfortunately may be never, discord, disgust, and unhappiness are often the result for trying to force fit a marriage "just because we are married", so the alternative is far better. Both my wife and myself had two previous marriages and both of us were the enders because we both held the deep belief that life is too short to be unhappy, and you have to take control of your own life and be responsible for your own happiness. Only you can decide if that includes another in your life or not. We've been happy together for over 20 years now, and our longest running joke is how there is NO way we have been together this long, because compared to our unhappy marriages, where it seemed like a prison sentence lasting forever, these last 20 have flown by. Not that everyday is champagne and roses, but overall, we still hold hands when we walk, laugh and kiss in public, and are happy together. And we both agree it is WAY too much work to find the right person, and would prefer that neither one dies before the other.
But we actually do have our own interests and hobbies, some the same. But most totally different, and both of us let the other do their own thing when we need or want to. We both wish we had more of the same interests, but I can't stand interior design and she can't stand working on cars or sports.
Last edited by Perryinva; 11-05-2015 at 03:48 AM..
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