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Your friend should try finding a girlfriend or wife in some other country. From experience, I can tell you that American women, who he might want to take out or marry, are not worth the trouble to seek out. I tried it in my sixties when widowed myself and it was a very discouraging endeavor. Friends told me I was good looking and young looking, I had job, home, and good manners. After f*****g around with American women, I ended up with prostate cancer which pretty much took me out of the market, although I haven't died in twenty years or so since.
My regret is that i didn't go overseas immediately and find a lady who wanted to be a friend, lover, and wife. Now I am too damn old.
Interesting article on how this worked out for some.
Seems to me some women put their past deceased husbands on a pedestal or use them as a benchmark. I wonder if any woman thought a past husband was great but found out later after demonstrating the next husband was better for them over all?
I was widowed at age 44 after 15 years of marriage to a wonderful, kind, and loving man. I am age 58 and have been in a CL marriage for the last 13 years to an equally wonderful, kind, and loving man. My late husband was very much a home body and devoted to his work, and I was more the adventurer type who loved to travel and had lots of interests, hobbies, and friends outside of our relationship. My late husband always supported my outside endeavors, and I supported his home body lifestyle and we made it work because we loved each other very much despite our different interests. Hubby # 2 is very much the adventurer like me, and the majority of things I did with friends especially travel during my first marriage I do with him now. Both husbands in different ways helped me grow as a person so it was and still is all good, but for sure I am definitely not shooting for a hat trick!!!
I was widowed at age 44 after 15 years of marriage to a wonderful, kind, and loving man. I am age 58 and have been in a CL marriage for the last 13 years to an equally wonderful, kind, and loving man. My late husband was very much a home body and devoted to his work, and I was more the adventurer type who loved to travel and had lots of interests, hobbies, and friends outside of our relationship. My late husband always supported my outside endeavors, and I supported his home body lifestyle and we made it work because we loved each other very much despite our different interests. Hubby # 2 is very much the adventurer like me, and the majority of things I did with friends especially travel during my first marriage I do with him now. Both husbands in different ways helped me grow as a person so it was and still is all good, but for sure I am definitely not shooting for a hat trick!!!
Unlike the depression mail order bride story this is a nice one to read. However if my math is correct you were 45 when you began with Husband #2. I think this thread is addressing women who are much older than you were and that age group appeasrs to be much more reluctent to venture into another relatioinship.
When I worked there were a few male coworkers that had arranged for "overseas" relationships. None of them worked out. Turns out they wanted their green card or money. Surprise! (Not) It's my observation that if one can't make a go of it with women around them, then it's unlikely to be a successful venture with an overseas purchased companion or casting a wide net in the home country.
I'm in my mid/late 50s and though I'm fatter than I should be, I generally keep up appearances,have a decent head of hair, dress well and I'm active, focused, financially well set and live younger than many my age. I have no doubt that should I want a mate I would find one. The question would be whether I'd want another mate. The fact that one 70 something man thinks (Bwahaahaha!) that women in their 30s-40s will generally be interested in his company unless his wallet is fully loaded and opened a lot is not a threat to well rounded interesting women of a certain age.
Frankly both sexes have to be on their A game after physical looks start to fade. Having the goods inside once those external goods are gone is an imperative and it makes a good match more likely to stick once the real person is seen and understood. Having dated a few really physically beautiful men in my time, if they aren't beautiful inside they lose their luster fast. I worked with a woman that was physically gorgeous but OMG! she was such a PITA, completely high maintenance. She had a really hard time with relationships because of who she was inside. She had no trouble getting interest, keeping it was the issue. This is true at any age.
This is truly what my friend is looking for, although as he would be the first to admit, he, like all of us, has his preferences for this and that trait or characteristic. He is not specifically focused on an age group, either. It is just that the women he was drawn to, happened to be sixty-somethings. I know he'll find somebody. I was just interested in people's thoughts about the "irrelevancy" observation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AK-Cathy
Having the goods inside once those external goods are gone is an imperative and it makes a good match more likely to stick once the real person is seen and understood. H.
When I worked there were a few male coworkers that had arranged for "overseas" relationships. None of them worked out. Turns out they wanted their green card or money. Surprise! (Not) It's my observation that if one can't make a go of it with women around them, then it's unlikely to be a successful venture with an overseas purchased companion.
You are likely right there.
From what I've read and heard about the situation, the husbands often complain that their mail order brides treat sex like a chore, are constantly sending money home to their family (which sadly, sometimes includes "ex" husbands), and are often moody as they miss their family and friends. They are grateful and submissive in the beginning but that often changes over time.
It's a business partnership. Not all such ventures work out.
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