How much did/would you spend on an engagement ring? (fiance, husband)

[onihC]

Originally Posted by justthe6ofus

We usually just paid our own way. I still had a job though so if he couldn't cover himself I paid. I like how you assumed it was him paying though.

I like how you wrote that you would split the costs of dating ONCE YOU WERE SERIOUS. It doesn't take one date or two to get serious, does it?

I can't speak for all women, but most that I know want a say in the ring. It's something they will likey have the rest of their life

That's right. A man saves who knows how much, also depends on what limits his woman tells him is the least he can spend on it. Men give it, women wear it.

I wish I could be so open-minded to say I'll love whatever he picks but that's not always the case. He asked me what I would like because he wanted me to love it, and I showed him some styles (mainly I wanted a princess cut stone). We shopped together. He set the budget, I picked out a setting I liked. He picked the center stone and they made the ring for him.

And he also paid for this.

I don't know why some women set limits

They do because it is acceptable. Imagine if men set limits on how fast the dishes should be ready, what is the minimum sex they can have a week, etc. Now that would be unnaceptable.

Of course I could have said "sorry dear, you have to get the economy car" but he chose what he wanted, within the budget.

Married couples doing a thing or two like that, sure, that seems normal. A car that has some use which you can use as well makes sense instead of buying him, say, a baseball card that costs thousands of dollars and he just has it to show it to his buddies. But couples that are not married, not living together, etc. and having the woman spend thousands of dollars on a man, no way, just doesn't happen commonly. Not saying it's right or wrong, it's just uncommon. There was a woman around here (another thread maybe) who did spend thousands of dollars on a man to go on vacation and I also know of an american woman who sent her boyfriend on vacation to Hawaii. They were not living together, not married, not sharing a bank account, yet, she spend money on him like that. I was surprised to see a woman spend like that on a man. Like I said, there are exceptions .

[DVDFreaker]

Originally Posted by misiu007

PLease tell me youre kidding. AS for the topic at hand, I would never marry a girl that set expactations for how much to spend on a ring. THat normaly means that she is after one thing, and the man is only a tool to get her there. I would likely spend 3-4k, which seems reasonable for normal people. If she didnt think it was enough, I'd thank her and move on.

I was kidding, haha, I do not have a fiancee or girlfriend, just wanted to see what you all would say

[himain]

My wealthy ex spent $20K. Not an engagement ring just something he gave me. The most recent ex purchased two rings for me at $4k a piece. Not engagement either. Just two nice rings

[TheBeagleLady]

Originally Posted by onihC

I like how you wrote that you would split the costs of dating ONCE YOU WERE SERIOUS. It doesn't take one date or two to get serious, does it?



That's right. A man saves who knows how much, also depends on what limits his woman tells him is the least he can spend on it. Men give it, women wear it.



And he also paid for this.



They do because it is acceptable. Imagine if men set limits on how fast the dishes should be ready, what is the minimum sex they can have a week, etc. Now that would be unnaceptable.



Married couples doing a thing or two like that, sure, that seems normal. A car that has some use which you can use as well makes sense instead of buying him, say, a baseball card that costs thousands of dollars and he just has it to show it to his buddies. But couples that are not married, not living together, etc. and having the woman spend thousands of dollars on a man, no way, just doesn't happen commonly. Not saying it's right or wrong, it's just uncommon. There was a woman around here (another thread maybe) who did spend thousands of dollars on a man to go on vacation and I also know of an american woman who sent her boyfriend on vacation to Hawaii. They were not living together, not married, not sharing a bank account, yet, she spend money on him like that. I was surprised to see a woman spend like that on a man. Like I said, there are exceptions .

By the time the guy buys the engagement ring, I presume the couple is serious and plans to be married. Otherwise, he wouldn't be buying the ring! I wouldn't spend thousands of dollars on a guy I'm not serious with, and men shouldn't be spending thousands of dollars on a woman they are not serious with. However, if either person chooses to do so, that's their business.

Our "first date" lasted four days. We alternated paying for things (attractions, food, etc.). I spent the money on gas and hotel to visit him. Not all women fit in your little box.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by onihC

They do because it is acceptable. Imagine if men set limits on how fast the dishes should be ready, what is the minimum sex they can have a week, etc. Now that would be unnaceptable.

I'm sure men DO have ideas of how much sex they would like to have per week whether they voice them or not. I don't think most women are telling their guys that they HAVE to spend a certain amount on an engagement ring. I think most reasonable women are just hoping to receive a nice ring in a style that they like. I don't think any reasonable woman expects a poor guy to buy her an expensive ring, but I'm not understanding why she has to be a materialistic golddigger if she happens to prefer an expensive ring and she KNOWS the guy can afford it and doesn't need to empty out his savings to get it. All these arguments about women not spending an equal amount of money on men are pointless. We all know that gender roles still exist. Everything is not going to be 50/50. If you don't want to buy an expensive engagement ring, DON'T BUY ONE. A woman should not put pressure on a man to purchase an expensive ring (especially if he can't afford it), but there's nothing wrong or unusual about women wanting a more expensive ring as opposed to a cheaper one.

[calicali01]

Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar

If you don't want to buy an expensive engagement ring, DON'T BUY ONE.

Yes, Ma'am.

[onihC]

Originally Posted by TheBeagleLady

By the time the guy buys the engagement ring, I presume the couple is serious and plans to be married

Yup. Serious or not, men are usually the ones who take care of expenses and will spend thousands of dollars on the engagement ring and other things.

Our "first date" lasted four days. We alternated paying for things (attractions, food, etc.). I spent the money on gas and hotel to visit him. Not all women fit in your little box.

Like I said, there are exceptions. We can't deny that women are not known for spending money on men just like men do on women. How nice of you to start contributing on expenses since the very first date. What's your view on your engagement ring? Will you contribute or buy him what or rather spend all those thousands on each other?

Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar

I'm sure men DO have ideas of how much sex they would like to have per week whether they voice them or not.

Voice them or not it doesn't mean they will get permission from their wife to have sex.

I don't think most women are telling their guys that they HAVE to spend a certain amount on an engagement ring.

They will either tell them what they want, how much is the minimum they are allowed to spend, what cut it should be, etc. Or some won't say anything at all and just dump the guy as other female posters have said if the man doesn't measure up. And very few rather not have a man spend all that money on something that will just rest on her finger doing nothing other than showing material for the girlfriends (so far in this thread only one or two female posters have said something like that).

I think most reasonable women are just hoping to receive a nice ring in a style that they like. I don't think any reasonable woman expects a poor guy to buy her an expensive ring, but I'm not understanding why she has to be a materialistic golddigger if she happens to prefer an expensive ring and she KNOWS the guy can afford it

Expecting a man to spend his money on her just because he has money? Imagine if men expected sex with her wife simply because she lives under the same roof. Not nice, huh? A woman is free to say no to sex if she wants to. A man is free to spend his money as he feels like regardless of having a lot. Why the entitlements?

All these arguments about women not spending an equal amount of money on men are pointless. We all know that gender roles still exist

Men should take care of expenses, women should cook and clean, right? You know, gender roles.

A woman should not put pressure on a man to purchase an expensive ring (especially if he can't afford it), but there's nothing wrong or unusual about women wanting a more expensive ring as opposed to a cheaper one.

Women wanting their man to buy an expensive ring and later upgrading it and having the husband spending more on her is fine, right? How about man wanting his wife to have the dinner ready and a clean house and not make him wait when he comes back from work but not doing anything to help her?

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by onihC

They will either tell them what they want, how much is the minimum they are allowed to spend, what cut it should be, etc. Or some won't say anything at all and just dump the guy as other female posters have said if the man doesn't measure up. And very few rather not have a man spend all that money on something that will just rest on her finger doing nothing other than showing material for the girlfriends (so far in this thread only one or two female posters have said something like that).

You forgot another option for a very large group: they are pleased with the gift and accept it with thanks.

[onihC]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

You forgot another option for a very large group: they are pleased with the gift and accept it with thanks.

You're right, can't forget those.

And then the very small minority rather not have a man spend all that money on something those women even go as far as calling it "useless, waste of money, sexist tradition, etc.".

[dragonsong]

my wife didn't want the engagement ring, hell I made her take the wedding ring, in her culture ( Chinese ) rings were not used, ( they are with the younger people now ) but I spent $4,500. on the set of two for us, they were made in China with 24k gold and plat.