Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, but you said the parents are speaking with accents, so I think it's a REASONABLE assumption that English is not the parents' first language. With some forethought and respect, questions about other cultures can be asked without fear of being misconstrued. You should also be able to use some judgment as a relationship develops as to whether the person is open to such dialogue.
I worked with a man who looked Asian but not really. He was bigger built than most Asians I knew and taller, too. I was curious as to his heritage but I didn't want to ask in an offensive way. "Hey! What ARE you, anyway?" He had no accent. Then one day I noticed he had a travel brochure for Turkey and asked if he was going to take a trip. That led to the conversation that he had been born there, but his parents had fled Uzbekistan when it came under the USSR. He lived in Australia as a small child and came to the US at age nine. I had my answer--and needed to look at a globe to find out where Uzbekistan was. I'd never heard of it.
I agree, there is a right way to ask and a wrong way as there is the right time to ask and the wrong time to ask. Not everyone has the social skills or even common sense to know the difference so should we just label them racists if they ask the wrong way or at the wrong time? The race card is so over used and used incorrectly it's pathetic and the word really has lost it's true meaning as a result
Everyone is missing the point, which was mentioned several times. The issue isn't "Do you speak X?" The problem is that when the answer was no, the OP was told they were wrong, and asked "are you sure?"
Ask away. Have a conversation, but listen to the bleepin' answer and not your stereotypes/prejudices.
I'm not white... Far from it. VERY far from it. Couple that with my Permanent Resident status and my French last name, and I believe I have every reason to say I deal with this all the time. And take NO offense to it. (Isn't this the same thing? They assume I speak Spanish because of a particular look? They won't be labeled racist, however, since they're not white, right?)
I can't tell you how many times Hispanics (Mexicans especially) walk up to me and assume I can understand them, and get frustrated when they realize I don't.
I can't tell you how many times I get humored by the assumption that because I'm not a "citizen," I don't pay taxes and I get free healthcare.
People assume I say "ay" because I grew up in Canada.
People assume my mom is from Haiti because I have a French last name and she is dark. (She's Guyanese.)
The list goes on.
If I took offense to all of the above, I'd have to shelter myself to living in a box with no windows to avoid the cruelties of this oh-so-racist world... (Sarcasm.)
Lighten up. Geez....
this is an amazing post.
there are actually real problems in the world now. Like war. Poverty. The environment we leave our children getting trashed. Population increase. Famine. Disease. Education. You gotta be kidding. take your offendedness energy and DO something productive with it that is good for the world. Also, you sound like a difficult person to work next to. OP you made several racists statements yourself in the first page. You are almost as bad as the lady you work with (who is ignorant or at best socially unintelligent). For your own personal success you might want to think about this. Do successful people of any background and at any point in history dwell on little things like this? I will entrust this to you to decide upon.
Scratchie, you keep posting that people don't get why it's racism, when you won't trouble yourself to become familiar with the definition of the word. Ask a linguist if you don't believe the posters here.
Yeah, I'll ask a linguist. Great idea. Actually, no. I think I'll ask the people who deal with racism every friggin' day of their lives and take their opinion over yours, if that's quite all right.
Yeah, I'll ask a linguist. Great idea. Actually, no. I think I'll ask the people who deal with racism every friggin' day of their lives and take their opinion over yours, if that's quite all right.
Scratchie, maybe you should actually LEARN what racism really is so you'll know who REALLY experiences TRUE racism. What you are calling racist is in no way racist. It's not just the whitey's on this thread saying this either. There are LOTS of folks from other races saying the exact same thing on this thread. Would you like to explain why that is? How can Hispanics, Asians, Blacks, etc on this thread possibly be saying what the co-worker did was NOT racist which is opposite of what you and the OP think? I think both you and the OP are racist.
Look, the OP is OBVIOUSLY leaving out something because NO white person in this country is going to arbitrarily assume a black person in this country speaks anything other than English. So the OP claims to not have an accent, SO WHAT. There is probably another reason the co-worker assumed she spoke a different language i.e. maybe the co-worker had access to the OPs resume and saw that the OP worked or studied in another part of the world that spoke a different language other than English and it was assumed the OP was from that country, maybe the OP actually IS from that other country. I honestly believe the OP intentionally created this post KNOWINGLY leaving out enough details in order to start a heated debate over racism. I think the OP is a racist.
Why do you assume the OP to be black? Personally, I'm guessing it's someone from the Indian subcontinent, if not Asian.
Why do you assume the OP to be black? Personally, I'm guessing it's someone from the Indian subcontinent, if not Asian.
I thought I read a post where the OP or another poster said the OP was black, my bad if that is not the case. If the OP is Indian or Asian then I could understand how the co-worker could have made incorrect assumptions but I still don't think the co-worker is a racist
Yeah, I'll ask a linguist. Great idea. Actually, no. I think I'll ask the people who deal with racism every friggin' day of their lives and take their opinion over yours, if that's quite all right.
That's an ignorant choice, but yours to make.
When people take up a cause, they need to educate themselves on what they're talking about or they lose all credibility and become a joke. I feel you're genuinely passionate about the topic, so I recommend you educate yourself, otherwise you sound about as intelligent as Ben Affleck discussing the problems in the middle east.
Yeah, I'll ask a linguist. Great idea. Actually, no. I think I'll ask the people who deal with racism every friggin' day of their lives and take their opinion over yours, if that's quite all right.
By the way, several here identified themselves as being black women and stated they DID NOT find the comment to be racist. Who are you to discount what they're saying?
Look, the OP is OBVIOUSLY leaving out something because NO white person in this country is going to arbitrarily assume a black person in this country speaks anything other than English. So the OP claims to not have an accent, SO WHAT. There is probably another reason the co-worker assumed she spoke a different language i.e. maybe the co-worker had access to the OPs resume and saw that the OP worked or studied in another part of the world that spoke a different language other than English and it was assumed the OP was from that country, maybe the OP actually IS from that other country. I honestly believe the OP intentionally created this post KNOWINGLY leaving out enough details in order to start a heated debate over racism. I think the OP is a racist.
You're really reaching.
The OP clearly stated that she was being introduced to the woman for the first time. I can't think of a reason a co-worker would have access to a resume.
And so what she doesn't have an accent? LOL You are discounting the only rational reason a stranger would have for asking the question and making up weird reasons instead.
And none of this excuses the real problematic statement, which if you don't get by now yiu never will.
I wonder why the OP isn't given the same benefit of the doubt.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Far from it. VERY far from it. Couple that with my Permanent Resident status and my French last name, and I believe I have every reason to say I deal with this all the time. And take NO offense to it. (Isn't this the same thing? They assume I speak Spanish because of a particular look? They won't be labeled racist, however, since they're not white, right?)