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What is in a name, what is in an appearance, what is in an accent?
As human being it is our nature to jump to conclusions.
My husband has lived in the USA for his entire life, if I were a person that hires --a first glance of his name I would think he just came off the boat. Hence why I/we made the decision to give all three of our sons a strong American name. It would just make life easier for them.
I think you're being too sensitive. She jumped to the wrong conclusion. And apparently with the wrong person.
I say she was trying to break the ice. She may be a great friend if you could find it in your heart to forgive you.
I can imagine the frustration of being stereotyped. I worked with a middle eastern man and assumed he was a staunch Muslim. There I go assuming. He may have been Muslim but when he wished me a Merry Christmas and said "God bless!" you could have knocked me over with a feather.
just a vent.. i've experienced more subtle and not so subtle racism in my year living in WA than the past 20 years in CA. today was my first day at my new job. i was being introduced around and one lady says to me:
RB (Racist BXXXX)-- so what's your first language?
ME: What do you mean? i only know one language, English
RB: Surely you must know another language. English can't be your first language
ME: Why would you think English is not my first language (with death glare)
RB: (stumbling around) I just thought... well, with your background... (slow fade)
ME: SMH ...
another day in WA, another unpleasant experience with an ignorant RB...
And what would she know about your backround? Find a way to get her fired
And what would she know about your backround? Find a way to get her fired
Why are you jumping to the conclusion that she is not allowed to know the information that she knows? You certainly seem intolerant of others when you don't know all of the facts. Are you a racist?
At many bigger companies with zero tolenrance anyone that make direct comments about someone that is not work related can be subject to disciplinary action including termination. Lawsuit alone can easily cost more than the worker's salary.
just a vent.. i've experienced more subtle and not so subtle racism in my year living in WA than the past 20 years in CA. today was my first day at my new job. i was being introduced around and one lady says to me:
RB (Racist BXXXX)-- so what's your first language?
ME: What do you mean? i only know one language, English
RB: Surely you must know another language. English can't be your first language
ME: Why would you think English is not my first language (with death glare)
RB: (stumbling around) I just thought... well, with your background... (slow fade)
ME: SMH ...
another day in WA, another unpleasant experience with an ignorant RB...
Doesn't sound racist. Sounds like a paranoid american born minority looking for any excuse to whine and look for excuses why everyone else is racist.
RB: Surely you must know another language. English can't be your first language.
This is the line I have the most problem with. She didn't accept his first answer. She was insistent that he must speak another language. She was determined to define who he is, rather than accept his answer. Why does she care so much? In our family's experience, people who try to force their definition of who you are on you and simply must know what you are, are bigots. IMO she isn't trying to strike up a friendly conversation. If she were, she would have accepted his first answer and moved on to ask a more friendly question, or offer some information about herself.
I kind of have to agree... this doesn't seem to be a straight up case of racism. More like being stereotyped or perhaps "prejudice". Probably "ignorant" or "insensitive", of which this may not have been intentional. I've got a "I don't know how they do it in your culture" from one of my white coworkers. It raised a bit of eyebrow to me initially, but even then, only slightly. I can't expect him to know beforehand if I was raised like some 3rd generation [foreign] American (who may be more "American" then he is), hard core homeland values, or hybrid.
I hope this doesn't turn out to be similar to something I saw on a TV show where a female coworker did some huge thing (thwarted an upcoming terrorist plot, by solving a huge piece of the puzzle that no1 else was able to). Her male boss puts his hand lightly on her shoulder saying "great work!". Then she turns to her coworker and says "did you see that!? He touched me! He shouldn't have done that".
just a vent.. i've experienced more subtle and not so subtle racism in my year living in WA than the past 20 years in CA. today was my first day at my new job. i was being introduced around and one lady says to me:
RB (Racist BXXXX)-- so what's your first language?
ME: What do you mean? i only know one language, English
RB: Surely you must know another language. English can't be your first language
ME: Why would you think English is not my first language (with death glare)
RB: (stumbling around) I just thought... well, with your background... (slow fade)
ME: SMH ...
another day in WA, another unpleasant experience with an ignorant RB...
One of my black friends from NYC told me several years ago that no one at her workplace was more than "surface polite" to her and always acted nervous around her. She said she kept thinking -- these Southerners sure must hate black folks.
She said that one day she flat out said to a coworker -- "have I done something to offend you? You don't even look me in the face when you talk to me."
This really took the other lady off guard and she blurted out "God, I just hope I haven't done anything to offend you. We have all these HR sensitivity classes - I figure the less said, the better."
And so it goes. People are so afraid of being labeled a "racist" or a "bigot" that they would rather just not even engage in conversation with someone new and of a different race/culture than have something they say misinterpreted.
At least OP's coworker was trying to have a conversation . . . but obviously, she should have just kept her mouth shut and let OP figure out how to fill up the silence.
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