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just a vent.. i've experienced more subtle and not so subtle racism in my year living in WA than the past 20 years in CA. today was my first day at my new job. i was being introduced around and one lady says to me:
RB (Racist BXXXX)-- so what's your first language?
ME: What do you mean? i only know one language, English
RB: Surely you must know another language. English can't be your first language
ME: Why would you think English is not my first language (with death glare)
RB: (stumbling around) I just thought... well, with your background... (slow fade)
ME: SMH ...
another day in WA, another unpleasant experience with an ignorant RB...
Doesn't sound very racist to me... Sounds like an honest bad assumption.
When I moved to Boston, the concierge in my apartment building was a nice enough white lady. We would chat often and were friendly. Once day she asks me where I was from. I told her Philadelphia. She clarified, "I mean what country are you from?" I was confused and just said, I was born and raised in Philadelphia. I'm African-American."
With the look of embarrassment on her face, she sheepishly explained that I didn't "sound like I was from the states." The fact is that my accent is so neutral it would put most national anchormen to shame. (In all my life, I have only had 1 person recognize the "Philadelphia" when I spoke.)
I laughed - no big deal. I didn't think she was being racist, insulting, ignorant, or any of the above. She just saw someone (a [black] American) with no accent she could identify.
If you try to make everything about race, you leave no space for real conversation and discovery of other people.
Doesn't sound very racist to me... Sounds like an honest bad assumption.
When I moved to Boston, the concierge in my apartment building was a nice enough white lady. We would chat often and were friendly. Once day she asks me where I was from. I told her Philadelphia. She clarified, "I mean what country are you from?" I was confused and just said, I was born and raised in Philadelphia. I'm African-American."
With the look of embarrassment on her face, she sheepishly explained that I didn't "sound like I was from the states." The fact is that my accent is so neutral it would put most national anchormen to shame. (In all my life, I have only had 1 person recognize the "Philadelphia" when I spoke.)
I laughed - no big deal. I didn't think she was being racist, insulting, ignorant, or any of the above. She just saw someone (a [black] American) with no accent she could identify.
If you try to make everything about race, you leave no space for real conversation and discovery of other people.
And more than likely, people like the OP and gtc08 prefer it that way.
Topics like race, sex, religion should never be discussed in the workplace. Too much room to offend someone. After you get to know a person better you can ask that type of stuff.
cis_love, like ive been saying. ignore these posters. these are whites telling you how to feel when they dont have to deal with the stuff you have to on a daily basis.
the white was clearly out of line and stereotyping you. if she does it again, report her to HR.
end of story.
I'm not white... Far from it. VERY far from it. Couple that with my Permanent Resident status and my French last name, and I believe I have every reason to say I deal with this all the time. And take NO offense to it. (Isn't this the same thing? They assume I speak Spanish because of a particular look? They won't be labeled racist, however, since they're not white, right?)
I can't tell you how many times Hispanics (Mexicans especially) walk up to me and assume I can understand them, and get frustrated when they realize I don't.
I can't tell you how many times I get humored by the assumption that because I'm not a "citizen," I don't pay taxes and I get free healthcare.
People assume I say "ay" because I grew up in Canada.
People assume my mom is from Haiti because I have a French last name and she is dark. (She's Guyanese.)
The list goes on.
If I took offense to all of the above, I'd have to shelter myself to living in a box with no windows to avoid the cruelties of this oh-so-racist world... (Sarcasm.)
Lighten up. Geez....
When I was in my early twenties and had just started traveling to "discover America", I went to NYC one day.
I got a little lost and was trying to get directions...
I saw a very dark skinned man wearing a dashiki and one of those pillbox-like hats (I don't know what they are called). I decided to ask him for help. "Excuse me... I'm a little lost." He turned to me, raised his eyebrows and smiled - which I took as an invitation to continue.
"I am not from here and I am not sure how to get back to blah, blah, blah."
He responded with the deepest voice I may ever have heard, and gave me directions in a very proper British (? to my ears) accent; one that would have probably put those "Downton Abbey" actors in their place!
I was floored and just stared for a moment and then smiled. Like me, he was used to people not expecting the sounds that came from his mouth and he smile too. I said "thank you", shook his hand and found my way back to where I needed to go.
Since then, I am aware that you cannot tell a person's root from his look. Many people who don't travel don't always get that.
Last edited by blktoptrvl; 01-14-2015 at 11:35 AM..
Topics like race, sex, religion should never be discussed in the workplace. Too much room to offend someone. After you get to know a person better you can ask that type of stuff.
I disagree and have always been open to those discussions... It is how you learn about other people, and since most of my life was spent in the office and that is where I met the most not like me people I dove right in.
It is however important to know how, when, and in what situations it is OK to open such conversations.
Seems like OP has a chip on his shoulder. If it was my first day on a job, I would try hard not to take offense at people right off the bat.
Yes he does. He also has another thread and he seemed to get offended that his new boss told him the dress code is business casual. Most people who appreciate being told that in advance, so they could fit in better.
Real smart to give this woman a death glare(his words), you think she didn't see that and wonder what is his mindset? She has now gone back and told others the new guy is odd I hope he doesn't show up with a gun.
OP better keep job hunting, this one isn't going to work out, talk about getting off on the wrong foot.
This is not the same as what you have described above. None of us knows the woman's intentions, but are ASSuming they were negative. For all any of us knows, this woman speaks Spanish and was probing to see if she would have someone to speak to in that language.
Those were examples of indirect racism. I don't believe the woman's intentions were negative. Someone in their right mind wouldn't intentionally say something like that at work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
And Pinkmani, let me add one more thing. Whether you meant to or not, your post illustrates the problem in our society. Instead of taking someones mistake about a country of origin and turning it into a teaching opportunity so they learn something, people get offended.
And the other issue is the notion that a question asking what a persons first language is, is equal to telling someone to go back to where they came from. They are not the same, yet many in our society would argue otherwise.
It makes it difficult to be sympathetic to the plight you are trying to share when we get these kinds of arguments.
Are you talking about the children of immigrants part?
*I'm assuming that's what you're talking about because the other stuff wouldn't make sense. If you were talking about something else, then ignore the comment below.
I wasn't offended by what that poster said. She assumed what it's like to be a child of an immigrant and stated them as facts. Notice I said things like "tend to" and "personal experience". My intention was to share my experience because I highly doubt that she knows what it's like to be a child of immigrant parents.
I'm kind of shocked you got hired as sensitive as you are.......
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Far from it. VERY far from it. Couple that with my Permanent Resident status and my French last name, and I believe I have every reason to say I deal with this all the time. And take NO offense to it. (Isn't this the same thing? They assume I speak Spanish because of a particular look? They won't be labeled racist, however, since they're not white, right?)