first day of work and met racist coworker(cross posted) (fired, business)

[mkwensky]

Originally Posted by houstan-dan

How are negative stereotypes in any way similar to asking someone if they speak another language?

Asking someone if they sleep with their cousins is a bit different than asking if the speak another language..

Sounds like someone is insecure about their nationality and uses anything to further rationalize their insecure thoughts.

The point being made is that people don't like assumptions being made about them based on appearance, accent or origin. That said if the OP speaks perfect English then I would file this under mild racism but if he has a detectable foreign accent then it is not racist but just offensive/inappropriate.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by cis_love

Um, that's called racial profiling. And is that supposed to somehow make me feel better? I already know she's making ASSumptions based on my appearance. Hello Racism! White people will NEVER ever realize why their ignorant remarks are considered racist.

You might want to read the definition of racism.

[LadyR1990]

Originally Posted by thatguydownsouth

Curiosity - Asking someone who appears to be foreign about their culture.

This. I work in a multicultural office and we ask questions like this all the time! We have Spanish word of the day, sometimes our Pilipino receptionist makes us egg rolls. To my knowledge no one has ever been offended.

[Cnynrat]

Originally Posted by cis_love

just a vent.. i've experienced more subtle and not so subtle racism in my year living in WA than the past 20 years in CA. today was my first day at my new job. i was being introduced around and one lady says to me:
RB (Racist BXXXX)-- so what's your first language?
ME: What do you mean? i only know one language, English
RB: Surely you must know another language. English can't be your first language
ME: Why would you think English is not my first language (with death glare)
RB: (stumbling around) I just thought... well, with your background... (slow fade)
ME: SMH ...

another day in WA, another unpleasant experience with an ignorant RB...

If you unloaded that rather large chip off your shoulder you might find you experience fewer unpleasant experiences with the people around you.

[step33]

Hey, just my opinion but there is a better way to handle this.

She's ignorant (meaning she doesn't know), this may have been a good opportunity to move the ball forward, versus just getting offended. In her brain, she's asking legit questions. You can now help her learn that those questions aren't quite legit, and give her a little education.

How do you think the the conversation would have gone had you made a couple of the changes below?

RB (Racist BXXXX)-- so what's your first language?
ME: What do you mean? i only know one language, English
RB: Surely you must know another language. English can't be your first language
ME: Why would you think English is not my first language (with death glare)
RB: (stumbling around) I just thought... well, with your background... (slow fade)

Here is where you might have gone with the conversation:

YOU: My background? Can I ask what you believe my background to be (she will be uncomfortable and start back tracking -she's now realized she offended you).
HER: Oh, I just meant, because you look......
YOU: Oh, that's interesting you say that. This book is not it's cover (or something witty). I am actually born and raised in xxxxx, went to school at xxxxx. How about you? Where are you from?
HER: Right here, never left (just a guess but it'll be something like that).
YOU: Interesting! Hey, you look like a nice person, can I confide something in you? Some of those first questions you asked were a little offensive. Most people with my last name (appearance/accent - whatever tipped her off) have actually been here for a long time. Interesting that you mentioned another language, I have always wanted to learn French (Russian, or something else that is different from your heritage), but you know how it is, not enough time to do all the things I want. What language would you like to learn?

Now, if her answer is "Oh, I'm happy with English, everyone in the world should just learn that and do things the American way!"

Well, if she says that - then return to calling her an RB and stay away from this clown

[MPowering1]

I agree with those who have posted you are using the wrong word and this isn't racism. Then again, I'm white, and you have obvious stereotypes against us, as you've indicated in more than one post.

Ever think this woman is simply inept and babbles on because she lacks social skills? The best thing you can do is get the chip off your shoulder and see how she treats you in the weeks to come.

[gtc08]

cis_love, like ive been saying. ignore these posters. these are whites telling you how to feel when they dont have to deal with the stuff you have to on a daily basis.

the white was clearly out of line and stereotyping you. if she does it again, report her to HR.

end of story.

[Pinkmani]

OP, like I told you take what she said with a grain of salt. Keep your head up and keep it moving. Don't go back and forth with the posters that don't understand. You have to realize it's something they'll never understand. No matter how hard you try to convince them, they will refuse to believe that you experienced racism in the workplace.

Another reason why they don't get it is because they believe there's only one definition of racism (the belief that some races of people are better than others).

Here's a better definition: prejudice, discrimination, belittling, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior


Personally, I wouldn't report it to HR just because I they will probably be like the rest of the posters here and they might make a note in your file about you being overly-sensitive.

Originally Posted by theluckygal

I wouldn't take any offense if someone asked me that. Its not racism, just curiosity. Some people are more blunt & say whats on their mind. Children of immigrants tend to be more sensitive about this issue as they are born American but their parents keep imposing their own culture on them so they end up hating being asked questions about their origins. They just want to be Americans & nothing else. But your skin color, accent clearly points to your country of origin. I have mistaken people from other states to be immigrants because of heavy accents. They did not take any offense & just laughed about it. There are so many people here from all around the world so these questions come up as conversation starters.

You wouldn't take offense to it because you're probably white.

-Ever had anyone clutch their purse and start speed walking away from you when you got out of the car? And as they are doing so they keep turning their head back (looking at you)?

-Or if you're leaving a store and you just so happened to be behind them, they'll stop and let you go first because they fear that you're going to attack them from behind.

-Has anyone ever said, "Go back to Africa" or "Go back to Europe" (if you're white)? Probably not.


Please don't speak for children of immigrants, unless you are one (which you're probably not). As a child immigrant parents (from two different countries), we tend to want to be American and we have no problem sharing our heritage. And this comes from personal experience where I've befriended several children with immigrant parents from nations across the world. If anything, our parents hate when we "American-ize ourselves".

It's not a big deal to mistake someone from another state (New Yorker from Massachusetts, someone from PEI is from Toronto, or mistaking that someone from Kenya is from Tanzania).

Originally Posted by Cnynrat

If you unloaded that rather large chip off your shoulder you might find you experience fewer unpleasant experiences with the people around you.

The OP probably mentioned it because it's rare that racist (whether direct or indirect) words are spoken. The majority of the racist things a person of color experiences are usually non-verbal. The majority of racists are too afraid to say it to one's face but will gladly rant about it on StormFront or some other online source.

[MPowering1]

Originally Posted by Pinkmani

You wouldn't take offense to it because you're probably white.

-Ever had anyone clutch their purse and start speed walking away from you when you got out of the car? And as they are doing so they keep turning their head back (looking at you)?

-Or if you're leaving a store and you just so happened to be behind them, they'll stop and let you go first because they fear that you're going to attack them from behind.

-Has anyone ever said, "Go back to Africa" or "Go back to Europe" (if you're white)? Probably not.


Please don't speak for children of immigrants, unless you are one (which you're probably not). As a child immigrant parents (from two different countries), we tend to want to be American and we have no problem sharing our heritage. And this comes from personal experience where I've befriended several children with immigrant parents from nations across the world. If anything, our parents hate when we "American-ize ourselves".

It's not a big deal to mistake someone from another state (New Yorker from Massachusetts, someone from PEI is from Toronto, or mistaking that someone from Kenya is from Tanzania).

This is not the same as what you have described above. None of us knows the woman's intentions, but are ASSuming they were negative. For all any of us knows, this woman speaks Spanish and was probing to see if she would have someone to speak to in that language.

[Fifty Seven]

I guess it's true what they say about ignorance being bliss. Seems like the members of the enlightened class invite a lot of conflict in to their lives by seeking offense and injustice around every corner. Perhaps a bit of tolerance towards the nescient unwashed plebeians you must occasionally interact with in your daily life would bring you a bit more tranquility.