Noisy New Neighbors - Help?/Neighbors From HE** (Pasadena, Alhambra: lease, credit check)

[HoliWood]

@SandyCo - Thanks, Sandy. I am not being so lucky...it's taking so long!

Last night, these bozos kept me up until nearly 3 a.m. And they have been at it again since 8! I am so exhausted and my sleep is tied to their sleep. I called the ditzy manager - and by the way, they only respond to emergency calls on the weekend, but now I consider not being able to sleep because of the noise an emergency, esp since they won't even respond on weekdays! - and left a pretty much firm (kind of pissed off) voice mail about the noise and stomping around. It's not walking, it's a herd of elephants that do not sleep.

And the squeaky ceiling? Imagine someone taking two large pieces of wood and smacking them together....all day. That's what it sounds like, and they refuse to fix it! I am losing my mind, and all this, while I am wearing ear plugs!

[blueyes2]

I have a neighbor upstairs who is obviously mentally ill and displays consistently disturbing and rude behavior in spite of my complaints. His neighbor across the hallway yelled at him when he was running his vacuum cleaner at 5:30 in the morning one time after taking a noise break from about 2:30 to 5:00. I can not describe how he annoys me. He stomps from room to room if he thinks he hears that I am home. I can't stand it when I go to use my bathroom and that means he has to stomp into his. It is creepy and affects my health. I decided some time back that my only recourse is to move, unfortunately I do not have the means to move. I intend to send my doctor bills to the management company. They will probably evict me instead of doing anything about him. I can't understand why I am not allowed to change apartments to get away from this sick behavior. I sympathize with you, but bottom line, you have to move and hope you don't get a situation that is worse. Good luck.

[Harrier]

If at first you don't succeed...try, try, try again!!!

Holiwood, you said in your first post that you knocked on the door and talked to the lady - and said she was rude. I understand that management won't do anything, and that you have decided you need to move. Meanwhile, you have to put up with the noise until you find a new place. I also understand that "things may not go well" if you continue talking to the neighbors. The fact is that the first time you talked to her she was dismissive - she probally figured "I am not the problem, and if I ignore this person she will go away". You have proved her right, if you have not continued to complain.

I reccomended a BBQ or some community social event that you could arrange to produce a non-confrontational setting so you could discuss the issue. You said that was not possible. I'm not sure why but I will take your word for it. That leaves knocking on her door - which is less desirable because you are not on a neutral turf.

If you don't want to confront her alone - then bring along a male friend - who can talk for you. Having someone separate from the situation might be more productive - the guy can articulate your grievances in a dispassionate manner. If they won't listen - keep coming to their door every day. If you are worried about violence - that is why you don't do it alone - and if they assualt you - you get away and THAT is when you call the cops. They won't help you with a noise issue(they'll be like management and think you should deal with it yourself) - but an assault will get there attention. And the noisy neighbor will be responsible for that if an when it occurs.

You are making a reasonable request - keep at it - perhaps she will quiet things down simply to be rid of your pestering. Right now you are the only one being harrassed. Time to change that. Good luck.

[SandyCo]

I wouldn't recommend doing any of this. The neighbor has already proven to be unreasonable. Trying to reason with an unreasonable individual is an exercise in futility and frustration. These kinds of people just don't care; they have a sense of entitlement that can make all the noise they want at all hours, and everyone else should just put up with it!

How do you propose that she "get away" if she's being assaulted?! That sounds easier said than done. Even if she can call 911, bad things can happen in the few minutes it may take the police to arrive.

Taking a male friend along for the face to face confrontation won't solve anything, because even if the neighbors pretend to be reasonable, they won't be after he leaves - and then it's just Holi against the neighbors.

Besides, her harassing them just ups her stress level - and that's what she's trying to avoid!

Originally Posted by Harrier

If at first you don't succeed...try, try, try again!!!

Holiwood, you said in your first post that you knocked on the door and talked to the lady - and said she was rude. I understand that management won't do anything, and that you have decided you need to move. Meanwhile, you have to put up with the noise until you find a new place. I also understand that "things may not go well" if you continue talking to the neighbors. The fact is that the first time you talked to her she was dismissive - she probally figured "I am not the problem, and if I ignore this person she will go away". You have proved her right, if you have not continued to complain.

I reccomended a BBQ or some community social event that you could arrange to produce a non-confrontational setting so you could discuss the issue. You said that was not possible. I'm not sure why but I will take your word for it. That leaves knocking on her door - which is less desirable because you are not on a neutral turf.

If you don't want to confront her alone - then bring along a male friend - who can talk for you. Having someone separate from the situation might be more productive - the guy can articulate your grievances in a dispassionate manner. If they won't listen - keep coming to their door every day. If you are worried about violence - that is why you don't do it alone - and if they assualt you - you get away and THAT is when you call the cops. They won't help you with a noise issue(they'll be like management and think you should deal with it yourself) - but an assault will get there attention. And the noisy neighbor will be responsible for that if an when it occurs.

You are making a reasonable request - keep at it - perhaps she will quiet things down simply to be rid of your pestering. Right now you are the only one being harrassed. Time to change that. Good luck.

[Harrier]

Sandy, here was my original solution which Holi rejected. As you can see I reccomended a non-confrontational approach. Your opinion?

Originally Posted by Harrier

Get some of your neighbors help and sponsor an apartment wide barbecue or some other social event (do you have a courtyard that this could be held in?) Invite everyone - if the noisy neighbors come - sit and talk with them - and at some point over hamburgers or salmon vent your complaints in detail. Explain that you want to be on friendly terms but make it clear to them that they are being a nuisance. This may work or it may not. Management isn't going to help. You need to find a way to get through to the people - and doing it in a non-confrontational style is your best bet. Good luck.

I find your dismissals highly speculative. The male friend isn't there to convince the neighbors because Holi has an ally. It is because (a) there is safety in numbers, and (b) to be a non-involved person who can objectively and calmly get the message across. You are simply running a script through your mind and in that script - the neighbors "pretend" to be agreeable - then turn away. You don't know that will happen. I find it very interesting that you can get into the minds of these people and KNOW how they will react.

The idea is to do something not put up with this simply because you are scared of what might happen. These people are being pests. Treat them as such - and quit being a victim.

[alexxiz]

Excuse me, what the hell does it have to do with a "male friend"? No need for this gender stuff and suggesting one gender is better than another. There're female police officers, etc. Ridiculous adivce. And BBQ won't work. I dunno what planet is this coming from... these people feel entitled and they're not going to watch their every step or sound, they're noisy, rude jerks and that's how they live, people like that don't change.

[Harrier]

Oh cut the political correctness stuff alex. When did I ever say one gender was better than another? You are the one who has made an issue of gender. What do female police officers have to do with the topic? I am suggesting a solution and so far everyone is cutting it down because they can "see" into these people's minds. Amazing how you are so clairvoyant! How do you know a BBQ won't work? I never said it would work, only that it might. Very odd that the people who won't offer help and instead armchair quaterback the people who do are so SURE of things.

[tickyul]

Originally Posted by Harrier

Sandy, here was my original solution which Holi rejected. As you can see I reccomended a non-confrontational approach. Your opinion?

I find your dismissals highly speculative. The male friend isn't there to convince the neighbors because Holi has an ally. It is because (a) there is safety in numbers, and (b) to be a non-involved person who can objectively and calmly get the message across. You are simply running a script through your mind and in that script - the neighbors "pretend" to be agreeable - then turn away. You don't know that will happen. I find it very interesting that you can get into the minds of these people and KNOW how they will react.

The idea is to do something not put up with this simply because you are scared of what might happen. These people are being pests. Treat them as such - and quit being a victim.

Hahaha, you are dreamin.............a barbecue..........really???

Have you ever lived around trash, as in pure trashy human dreck.............a barbecue..........hahahahahahahaha.

[Harrier]

Originally Posted by tickyul

Hahaha, you are dreamin.............a barbecue..........really???

Have you ever lived around trash, as in pure trashy human dreck.............a barbecue..........hahahahahahahaha.

Not sure what this means - care to clarify?

[tickyul]

Originally Posted by Harrier

Not sure what this means - care to clarify?

Don't be coy, if you cannot figure out a very clear statement........well then, go back to Romper Room.