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Old 12-10-2019, 06:05 PM
 
Location: planet earth
8,620 posts, read 5,646,935 times
Reputation: 19645

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They sound like horrible people the way you've described them. Why do you like them and why would you want to hang out with them? And why would they like you and want to hang out with you? Makes no sense.
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:13 PM
 
5,401 posts, read 6,526,149 times
Reputation: 12017
Someone who agreed to be the designated driver & then didn't like the look of the windy road should have said this on the way to the winery. "OMG, I can't possibly drive this road-- I'm so sorry I can't be your driver on way back." & this person availed themselves of special DD's drinks & snacks?

Whomever listens to gossip gets what they get. No good comes of trying to counteract gossip.

I would certainly never have this person in my home again.
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Old 12-10-2019, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Suburb of Chicago
31,848 posts, read 17,598,739 times
Reputation: 29385
I'm guessing this is hubby's mother.
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:03 PM
 
3,248 posts, read 2,454,490 times
Reputation: 7255
Quote:
Originally Posted by historyfan View Post
Someone who agreed to be the designated driver & then didn't like the look of the windy road should have said this on the way to the winery. "OMG, I can't possibly drive this road-- I'm so sorry I can't be your driver on way back." & this person availed themselves of special DD's drinks & snacks?

Whomever listens to gossip gets what they get. No good comes of trying to counteract gossip.

I would certainly never have this person in my home again.
Yes there were ample opportunities to say they were not driving home and allow us to make other plans. Part of the gossip is that we were SO drunk we couldn't drive for HOURS which was patently false. That we basically were such slobbering messes we held this poor hapless guest hostage. No mention of the DD agreement.

My only saving grace in this entire situation was that the winery owners were lovely and clearly really confused by this guests behavior. They kept offering to drive our car to the main road (a straight 2 lane road that connected shortly with a big highway) and get out when we were on a direct path so our "DD" could take over. The road to the winery was not treacherous at all but they humored our "DD". This suggestion was shot down in half a dozen different ways. It was clear that the bait and switch was payback for "forcing" this person to be at a winery in the first place.
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Old 12-10-2019, 07:55 PM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,626,667 times
Reputation: 36278
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1 View Post
I'm guessing this is hubby's mother.
It would be helpful to know the connection.

I can't imagine maintaining contact with someone like this. If it is a family member, it would be a longtime before they would be a houseguest again.
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Old 12-10-2019, 08:31 PM
 
3,248 posts, read 2,454,490 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
It would be helpful to know the connection.

I can't imagine maintaining contact with someone like this. If it is a family member, it would be a longtime before they would be a houseguest again.
I can't give further details than I already have. There is a family connection. Addressing this behavior what I'd like to focus on.
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Old 12-10-2019, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,908,774 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
It would be helpful to know the connection.

I can't imagine maintaining contact with someone like this. If it is a family member, it would be a longtime before they would be a houseguest again.
I agree, though we won't likely learn the actual connection.

The entire situation is so ridiculous that I can't imagine the emotional stunting that would be required to tolerate this kind of behavior.

Lies don't call for explanations. Period. Liars get exiled. The end.
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Old 12-10-2019, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,908,774 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I can't give further details than I already have. There is a family connection. Addressing this behavior what I'd like to focus on.
It's your and your husband's behavior that needs to change. It's a matter of boundaries, in this and most of your family threads.

You knew from the start that this situation would be untenable. So think of what YOU could do differently next time to save yourself this grief.
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Old 12-10-2019, 09:40 PM
 
Location: NYC
16,062 posts, read 26,736,838 times
Reputation: 24848
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I have no clue. They were angry as soon as we got there. We introduced them around and people were eager to meet them and greeted them warmly. We tried to talk to them for most of the party as they were our guest but they just seemed to get more and more upset. When there was a toast they stalked off and started reading their phone. I went after the toast was over and they said they didn't like to "see so many glasses being filled."

If we thought for one minute that they would not be DD we would have stopped drinking earlier. By the time they said they "couldn't drive on winding roads' and refused to take us home we were stunned. We asked what was wrong and the reply was "I hate seeing people drink" and my husband gently reminded this guest there was the option not to come. There was stony silence all the way home.
You are more gracious than I would have been. I probably would have left them at the winery to find their own way home.
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Old 12-11-2019, 01:05 AM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,813 posts, read 32,484,481 times
Reputation: 38575
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I can't give further details than I already have. There is a family connection. Addressing this behavior what I'd like to focus on.
No matter who they are, you don't have to invite them to your home or to parties where they will be jerks. DNA doesn't give anyone the right to impose themselves on you. It's up to you to learn how to say no to them.
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