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They sound like horrible people the way you've described them. Why do you like them and why would you want to hang out with them? And why would they like you and want to hang out with you? Makes no sense.
Someone who agreed to be the designated driver & then didn't like the look of the windy road should have said this on the way to the winery. "OMG, I can't possibly drive this road-- I'm so sorry I can't be your driver on way back." & this person availed themselves of special DD's drinks & snacks?
Whomever listens to gossip gets what they get. No good comes of trying to counteract gossip.
I would certainly never have this person in my home again.
Someone who agreed to be the designated driver & then didn't like the look of the windy road should have said this on the way to the winery. "OMG, I can't possibly drive this road-- I'm so sorry I can't be your driver on way back." & this person availed themselves of special DD's drinks & snacks?
Whomever listens to gossip gets what they get. No good comes of trying to counteract gossip.
I would certainly never have this person in my home again.
Yes there were ample opportunities to say they were not driving home and allow us to make other plans. Part of the gossip is that we were SO drunk we couldn't drive for HOURS which was patently false. That we basically were such slobbering messes we held this poor hapless guest hostage. No mention of the DD agreement.
My only saving grace in this entire situation was that the winery owners were lovely and clearly really confused by this guests behavior. They kept offering to drive our car to the main road (a straight 2 lane road that connected shortly with a big highway) and get out when we were on a direct path so our "DD" could take over. The road to the winery was not treacherous at all but they humored our "DD". This suggestion was shot down in half a dozen different ways. It was clear that the bait and switch was payback for "forcing" this person to be at a winery in the first place.
I have no clue. They were angry as soon as we got there. We introduced them around and people were eager to meet them and greeted them warmly. We tried to talk to them for most of the party as they were our guest but they just seemed to get more and more upset. When there was a toast they stalked off and started reading their phone. I went after the toast was over and they said they didn't like to "see so many glasses being filled."
If we thought for one minute that they would not be DD we would have stopped drinking earlier. By the time they said they "couldn't drive on winding roads' and refused to take us home we were stunned. We asked what was wrong and the reply was "I hate seeing people drink" and my husband gently reminded this guest there was the option not to come. There was stony silence all the way home.
You are more gracious than I would have been. I probably would have left them at the winery to find their own way home.
I can't give further details than I already have. There is a family connection. Addressing this behavior what I'd like to focus on.
No matter who they are, you don't have to invite them to your home or to parties where they will be jerks. DNA doesn't give anyone the right to impose themselves on you. It's up to you to learn how to say no to them.
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