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I once took a vegan to a pigroast on a first date...…...it didn't go over well... to say the least.. (she started dry heaving after seeing the piglet on the spit) then I made it worst trying to introduce her to my friends...
she ran to the car and screamed at me all the way back to her place...
anyways...just saying. some things are just offensive to others...just the way it is...even if we don't think it should be..
your .. dry friends were kinda rude in my opinion..... maybe next time don't invite them..
I once ran into a couple that didn't drink.....and got more agitated around others that did...even tho the drinking wasn't excessive.... what I didn't know at the time is that they lost a relative to drunk driving and …. the anger was actually sadness...being around drinking.. they attached drinking behavior to the death of a relative ..
They had plans before they knew the guest was coming. They explained the situation to the guest. The guest decided to go knowing it was in a winery.
I can't believe you expect people to change their behavior when you are around. Having wine in a winery is not "needing a drink."
Right.
The guest came knowing we had th it a planned. The gurst could have easily stayed home and visited with others in the area that they know, gone on a walk, read a book, etc.. They chose to attend. We knew they don't drink but not that they hated drinking and judge anyone who does.
Having wine at a birthday celebration at a winery is not some craven need for booze. That's a very gauche point of view by someone who judges without actually understanding how alcohol works. Its been eye opening here that my guest is not alone in feeling superior to drinkers for finding them "offensive ' in any form.just...wow. Lots of very high horses.
I guess I will have to stop inviting anyone who does not drink to participate in our social events the future. I had no idea the secret judging that was happening. At least our guest made their displeasure immediately apparent.
I once took a vegan to a pigroast on a first date...…...it didn't go over well... to say the least.. (she started dry heaving after seeing the piglet on the spit) then I made it worst trying to introduce her to my friends...
she ran to the car and screamed at me all the way back to her place...
anyways...just saying. some things are just offensive to others...just the way it is...even if we don't think it should be..
your .. dry friends were kinda rude in my opinion..... maybe next time don't invite them..
I once ran into a couple that didn't drink.....and got more agitated around others that did...even tho the drinking wasn't excessive.... what I didn't know at the time is that they lost a relative to drunk driving and …. the anger was actually sadness...being around drinking.. they attached drinking behavior to the death of a relative ..
That makes sense. I do wonder what the history might be. But it doesn't excuse the gossip. This guest made far more of a scene than anyone at the party had some wine. I wonder that people don't realize their own protest can be every bit as disruptive as what they are protesting.
There seem to be people on this thread who think in either all black or all white. Either you're a sloppy drunk puking in the bushes or you're a teetotaler. Nothing in between. That is just not reality, folks. And if you are an oenophile, you go to tastings, taste the wine and spit or pour out the remainder of the wine. You don't just guzzle glass after glass of wine. You would be knee-walking drunk if you did that, but that is not how it works. The majority of people are perfectly fine to drink in moderation. I'm sorry that a lot of you have had bad experiences with problem drinkers, but just understand that MOST social drinking is not "problem" drinking.
There seem to be people on this thread who think in either all black or all white. Either you're a sloppy drunk puking in the bushes or you're a teetotaler. Nothing in between. That is just not reality, folks. And if you are an oenophile, you go to tastings, taste the wine and spit or pour out the remainder of the wine. You don't just guzzle glass after glass of wine. You would be knee-walking drunk if you did that, but that is not how it works. The majority of people are perfectly fine to drink in moderation. I'm sorry that a lot of you have had bad experiences with problem drinkers, but just understand that MOST social drinking is not "problem" drinking.
Well said.
I grew up in Europe until my teen years and drinking is the norm. People do it socially, with meals and in special occasions. We all managed to function quite well. I never worried much about alcohol one way or the other. I do enjoy wine and both my mate and I have a small collection of rare bottles. We love learning about it and if we had more time we would certainly be interested in visiting wineries when we travel. The puritanical attitude that says all drinking leads to problems is just so ridiculous to me. It's shocking how much virtue signaling and harsh criticism is rolled into these responses. I now understand that our guest was not alone in their draconian attitude toward alcohol.
I grew up in Europe until my teen years and drinking is the norm. People do it socially, with meals and in special occasions. We all managed to function quite well. I never worried much about alcohol one way or the other. I do enjoy wine and both my mate and I have a small collection of rare bottles. We love learning about it and if we had more time we would certainly be interested in visiting wineries when we travel. The puritanical attitude that says all drinking leads to problems is just so ridiculous to me. It's shocking how much virtue signaling and harsh criticism is rolled into these responses. I now understand that our guest was not alone in their draconian attitude toward alcohol.
You manage to function quite well, in your opinion. The opinion of non drinkers is often different. What a drinker might see as no problem, a non drinker might find annoying or unpleasant. It is not a difference in attitude. Many people can see the difference if they attend several events sober. And stay the entire time.
You manage to function quite well, in your opinion. The opinion of non drinkers is often different. What a drinker might see as no problem, a non drinker might find annoying or unpleasant. It is not a difference in attitude. Many people can see the difference if they attend several events sober. And stay the entire time.
Not me...the entire nation of Sweden. And other countries like France, Italy, Spain etc.. alcohol is served with meals. It's very common. Not everyone is stumbling drunk in the streets.
Do you make these harsh opinions known to your family and friends? Do you refuse to go to restaurants where they serve alcohol and strangers might order it? Do you find ways to keep away from anyone who might drink all the time?
There are plenty of sober people who act like jerks, are rude or offensive. There are plenty of people who can have a moderate amount of alcohol and maintain perfect comprehension and composure. Again virtue signaling here. Or lack of experience and provincialism.
I guess I will have to stop inviting anyone who does not drink to participate in our social events the future. I had no idea the secret judging that was happening.
Don't presume that you can read your non-drinking friends' minds. Absent proof, you have no reason to think they are judging you. (And remember, your drinking friends may also be silently judging you, just on different grounds: "Emotiioo is a nice person, but she has terrible fashion sense/is too strict (or too permissive) as a parent/is too politically liberal (or conservative), etc.") Just because one teetotaler you didn't know all that well proved to be a horse's ass is no reason to think they all are.
Keep in your life only the people around you who treat you well. Toss out the ones who don't. It's simple, really.
We had a recent experience where we had a house guest who is a very disapproving teetotaler. By a stroke of bad timing we had already accepted an invite to a milestone family birthday party at a winery when the guest scheduled the visit. We gave the guest the option to stay home but the guest insisted on coming both to our home and the party. The guest
volunteered to be the DD but then refused to actually drive at the end of the event so we had an awkward period of waiting to be done enough to drive home.
Drinking around this person makes them very angry as we found out. We have had fallout from this visit in the fom of gossip they started and passive aggressive comments. Neither of us get out much as we have a lot going on but we both are wine drinkers socially-- not heavy drinkers at all. I have had friends and family in recovery who have not been interested in drinking but have never met someone who was made so angry because others were doing so. Especially when they had the option not to witness this behavior.
Your teetotaler is a curmudgeon at best, at broken down old hag at worst. I've met the type. God knows there were enough of them around prior to Prohibition; mostly hags who couldn't get laid at a prison breakout party with the warden handing out pardons.
I am a teetotaler. I am a bit of an anti-alcohol type and won't have it in my house, with exceptions for parties, which are rare as hen's teeth. I rarely jam others for anything else, but alcohol is just bad news. HOWEVER my lectures fall on deaf ears, people must take the info and make their own decisions. I have my reasons for not having a (real) drink, as in "in earnest to get loaded" since c. Feb 27, 1994.
If I say I will be the DD, I'm the DD. Refusing is curmudgeonly, holier-than-thou BS that makes one look like a Dick. I never "get angry" at people drinking, but leave the party when the drunken stupid "I love you guys" BS starts, as it invariably does. People lightly lubed-up are amusing, men and women, but when it really gets roaring often as not some unpleasantness starts. I want no part of it, ever. But I don't "get angry," I just deal-with and move on. It's not my party, like the guest in-question I chose to be there.
There is no way to approach the teetotaler. Try not to invite him or her to next event with liquor. It's his cross to bear, but he's making others feel the hell-fire, too in every sense of the phrase.
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