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“Vietnam means nothing to me. I’m an American now.”
I find it a repugnant statement. You can respect the country you are living in and be integrated in it as any native without having to snob your home country. Immigrants will always be regarded just as foreign as someone FOB, naturalized or not.
Fro example when I become an American citizen and if someone asks me where I am from, I will say I am from USA. But if that person starts to dig deep and begins to ask where I am originally from, I think that would be rude or offensive because it means that this person does not believe in me. Right?
No, wrong. You sound like you are very easily offended. I have read some of your other posts and you said you are Turkish, born of Turkish parents, and that you have been here in the U.S. for less than four years. So no, you are not from the USA. You also claimed you thought it was OK to say you are American simply because you want to become American. It just doesn't work that way. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with people asking you where you were born or where you are from, unless someone does it with a stink-eye and in an accusatory manner, which is highly unlikely.
If you were Indian, for example, I'd want to know which region or I'd try to guess, because I have that many Indian friends and acquaintances and enjoy the foods so much. Some other countries, I would know immediately where someone comes from, and I might just reply to that person in their native language. It's fun and an ice-breaker. Walking down the street in Düsseldorf years ago, there was a tight group of obviously Japanese young women coming toward me, and as I passed them, I said "sumimasen," which means "excuse me" in Japanese. They broke into a chorus of surprised giggles and then wanted to take a picture with me. They thought I was German until I told them otherwise.
I live in the SF Bay Area and we have people from all over the world living here, and most are welcomed. But if you have a chip on your shoulder, or you lie to us, you will not be welcome anywhere.
I suppose there are cultural differences here. When we were in Zimbabwe we were asked a few times what our religion was. Have also been asked that in Malaysia. That is not an acceptable question in Australia unless you know someone well. Don't know about the US but it is not something I would go around asking.
My SIL was upset once about being asked where she lived. I figure an acceptable bit of small talk to open a conversation with total strangers is something like, did you have to come very far? ...So how was the traffic? Whereas she saw it as a way that people would try to find out whether you were living in an expensive part of the city.
I assume that quite often the question about the accent or the unusual name is just an attempt to make small talk. Which can be tricky. We were on a group tour and the Aussies all ended up talking about the hazardous insects and reptiles in our gardens as a conversation starter. Could have been stressful to the British with us.
I get asked that question most workdays, sometimes even several times in a single day. I was flattered by the interest, at first. Now I find it a bit offensive and really annoying. <snip>
When I get asked, I politely attempt to switch the conversation.
Same. It's not offensive per se, but people should be aware that it gets tedious to be asked the same question over and over again, and you can assume that pretty much anyone with an unusual accent is getting that question on a regular basis. Maybe try a more original conversational gambit.
It's like a friend of mine who has heterochromia - she likes the way it looks and it isn't rude for people to comment politely on it, but EVERYONE does and you can only run through the same script so many times before it just gets old.
I remember when this became rude. Because it wasn't rude for the first twenty years of my life where I lived in the Midwest I've never been able to understand people who are offended by the question. We lived in a very small town so it was only natural to wonder where someone was from when we saw a stranger. It also acknowledged their presence and was offered as friendly conversation. Usually the attempt was to connect by finding out if there was someone you knew in common.
As far as it implying that you are from a different country none of us thought that was rude either. It's an assumption that, except for Native Americans, everybody in America came from someplace else. Why would that be anything to feel defensive about? It's the norm.
If it is done because they are being malicious, yes, it's bad.
If it because you have an accent, no, it is not offensive or rude. They are just being curious.
I know not to assume someone isn't an American just because of accents, dress, or appearance. But not everyone is well-versed in political correctness.
Lots of AMERICANS have accents. For example: Puerto Ricans are Americans, and many of them have accents, since they speak Spanish.......cannot assume.......
Don't be so sensitive. It's done all the time. Do you have no pride for your origins?
Having the slightest bit of pride one's origins can unsettle people. For example, several have asked outright what I am doing here, or I've even had someone say to me, "You don't look like everyone else here," and another was so nasty toward me as to say, "You must feel entitled to live here, well you're not." The thing is, I was born and raised in the U.S. but there are plenty of other Americans who think that's not enough be accepted as an American in all of America, and laws have made it easy to stop and detain those like myself just because someone more privileged calls the authorities to report that I look out of place.
Going further, because I do not share the same ideas and beliefs or background and culture as another, I'm not supposed to have an opinion or complain about anything, let everyone else have their say while I am free to listen but heavily ridiculed when speaking up for myself.
It's all so one-sided.
All the above eventually causes heightened sensitivity for anyone with a pulse.
Lots of AMERICANS have accents. For example: Puerto Ricans are Americans, and many of them have accents, since they speak Spanish.......cannot assume.......
That doesn't make sense to me. I know lots of people born in this country who are bilingual and while their foreign-born parents may have a foreign accent when speaking English, usually the children born here do not, even if at home they speak the language of their parents' native county. To speak English without a foreign accent usually requires that one learns English at an early age and uses English regularly.
Is it offensive/rude to ask where someone is originally from?
In North America it is not offensive/rude to ask where someone is originally from. All kinds of people ask that question everywhere on the whole continent of North America. You should get used to being asked that question for the rest of your life if you plan to stay in USA or any other country in North America.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaliya
Fro example when I become an American citizen and if someone asks me where I am from, I will say I am from USA. But if that person starts to dig deep and begins to ask where I am originally from, I think that would be rude or offensive because it means that this person does not believe in me. Right?
Becoming an American citizen won't make any difference or change where you are from. When people ask you where you are from just be honest and tell them the truth. You are from Turkey, that is the truth. Do not say you are from America because that will be a lie. Lying is rude and offensive.
Nobody can hide the way they speak. If you have a strong Turkish accent and you say you are from America other people will know you are lying and then they might think that you have something suspicious or shameful or guilty or illegal to hide, and that is when people might start digging deeper to get you to tell the truth. So just tell the truth to start with and don't try to pretend that you are somebody that you are not or that you have come from some place that you have not. You are in America now and will be proud to become an American citizen but you should also have pride in where you came from too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aaliya
but why do people except me not to have an accent when speaking in English? English is not even an official language of USA
You might be expected to learn how to speak and spell Standard American English properly but nobody expects you to not have an accent. Everybody in USA has some kind of accent and there is no universal one-size-fits-all "American" accent no matter what language people are speaking. Regional accents are different all over the whole USA and in some places even the dialects are a bit different. So when people move around or relocate to different states they take their regional accents with them. The regional accents are different all over Canada and Mexico too no matter what language they speak. So when people with different accents meet each other and are interested in them and want to get to know them a bit better they ask "where are you from?"
Whether or not English is an official language in USA or any other country is irrelevant, it doesn't matter. Speaking the English language is not the same as having an English accent. People who come from England are the only people who have authentic English accents. And there are regional accents in England too.
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Is it offensive/rude to ask where someone is originally from?
