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If she is on Medicaid, she will not have to pay any copays for office visits, the hospital bill, or any medications she might need during the pregnancy. For someone in her position, Medicaid is a better financial option then regular insurance. They should also qualify for section 8 housing, but I believe that there is usually a waiting list so she needs to apply as soon as possible.
Based on Ivory's past threads, I consider the daughter darn lucky Ivory isn't leaving her homeless in a car. He[/i]r willingness to help her get an apartment and furnish it for her is much better than turning her back and leaving her live in a car to figure it out on her own. As a result, I see no reason to trash and attack Ivory in this thread. If she posted her daughter was pregnant, living in a car, and good riddance, I'd be all over her.
I find it appalling that a mother would allow her pregnant daughter to spend ANY time living in a car.
Really? You think her daughter is "lucky"? This is a young woman who KNOWS her younger sister is the apple of Mom's eye. The younger sister came home so drunk her own father turned her into the police. While at the police station she slugged a cop. The younger sister got bailed out of jail and who knows how much $$ was spent to get her a lawyer.
But this "lucky" daughter might get Mom's help in applying for welfare. While she sleeps in a car. That's "lucky"? Really?
I find it appalling that a mother would allow her pregnant daughter to spend ANY time living in a car.
Really? You think her daughter is "lucky"? This is a young woman who KNOWS her younger sister is the apple of Mom's eye. The younger sister came home so drunk her own father turned her into the police. While at the police station she slugged a cop. The younger sister got bailed out of jail and who knows how much $$ was spent to get her a lawyer.
But this "lucky" daughter might get Mom's help in applying for welfare. While she sleeps in a car. That's "lucky"? Really?
That's the very reason I think she's lucky. It could be much worse if her family completely turned their backs on her. Since Ivory is who she is, that could have been a very real possible outcome. All the berating her in the world won't make her home less dysfunctional. The daughter is better off not living there. The granddaughter is better off not living there too. What is the purpose in badgering her to take in this daughter when the household is extremely dysfunctional and mentally abusive to her? Ivory isn't you, Mattie, Kathryn, Jersey or me. She can't change overnight fast enough to be that person. The best this girl can get is a place to live. Considering how Ivory treats her, she is lucky that Ivory is going to help her with that.
If you really think about what I'm saying, I'm not saying something positive about Ivory. My saying her daughter is lucky really puts into perspective where I think Ivory is in the mom department. I'm acknowledging there is no point whatsoever in trying to get Ivory to become Jersey overnight. IF she was a total stranger, first time poster here, I'd have a different take on this. But Ivory has proven for years that she's incapable of changing. You're wasting your breath and insults trying. Ivory's home is not the best solution for her daughter. It never has been and never will be. This girl needs a fair chance to build her own life and having her own housing is that chance.
If she is on Medicaid, she will not have to pay any copays for office visits, the hospital bill, or any medications she might need during the pregnancy. For someone in her position, Medicaid is a better financial option then regular insurance. They should also qualify for section 8 housing, but I believe that there is usually a waiting list so she needs to apply as soon as possible.
We have to figure out whether she can get on Medicaid. Right now she's on my insurance. While I may be able to drop her in October, we have to be certain that she will get Medicaid because I won't be able to put her back on my insurance until the next open enrollment period. For the moment, she has my insurance and we have time to figure out what to do WRT insurance in the future. Fortunately, my open enrollment period is before the baby is born so if she can get Medicaid, I should be able to drop her from my insurance.
I'm trying to get her to go down with me later in the week to see what she can get WRT housing assistance. She's not too keen on going to the welfare office but she needs to. She's not in position to support herself and a baby right now. I think with what they are making, if they get food stamps and Medicaid, they'll be able to afford a small apartment on their own. He's working two jobs and she's working. He's making about $500/week and she's making $250/week (I don't know what they pay in taxes if anything). If they can get a subsidized apartment and food stamps I think they'll do ok.
What is the purpose in badgering her to take in this daughter when the household is extremely dysfunctional and mentally abusive to her?
What's the purpose? A healthy child. A CHILD will come into the world in a few months and that innocent child doesn't deserve to be born underweight or have a health problem because everyone is so blinking dysfunctional they think it's OK to have the mother sleeping in a car.
I could care less about Ivory's talk about obummacare and all the other nonsense. There is a bed in a room in her house. Being with a dysfunctional family is safer then being pregnant and living in a car parked who knows where. Ivory could have said, "Sleep here. I'll help you apply for assistance and when you get it you will move there."
She didn't do that. The husband didn't do that. They are choosing to let their pregnant daughter sleep in a car.
Thats a nice thought and the way it absolutely should be...but unfortunately, she has already proven that she would much rather this baby be aborted or given up for adoption. She does not want this grandchild.
I completely understand Ivory's apprehension and anger and sadness and despair over this situation. It wasn't long ago that I was in her shoes.
A person runs the gamet of emotion through a time like this.
Eventually an acceptance will set in. Whatever the decision may be.
This is a turning point in their lives with a fork in the road. You can let this rip you apart or bring you together. It doesn't happen overnight but it can happen. Once again, no matter what.
Don't rip Ivory apart too much. She's ripped inside as it is. Just read the first few pages of my thread on this very same subject.
All of you have had some advice or anecdotes or just comments to offer. They help. A LOT!
Ivory, your daughter needs you now more than ever. Be there. Help her plan and be there when and if those plans change. Use good judgement and sometimes reach out when you're unsure what that judgement is or should be.
There's always more than one way to look at any situation.
That's the very reason I think she's lucky. It could be much worse if her family completely turned their backs on her. Since Ivory is who she is, that could have been a very real possible outcome. All the berating her in the world won't make her home less dysfunctional. The daughter is better off not living there. The granddaughter is better off not living there too. What is the purpose in badgering her to take in this daughter when the household is extremely dysfunctional and mentally abusive to her? Ivory isn't you, Mattie, Kathryn, Jersey or me. She can't change overnight fast enough to be that person. The best this girl can get is a place to live. Considering how Ivory treats her, she is lucky that Ivory is going to help her with that.
If you really think about what I'm saying, I'm not saying something positive about Ivory. My saying her daughter is lucky really puts into perspective where I think Ivory is in the mom department. I'm acknowledging there is no point whatsoever in trying to get Ivory to become Jersey overnight. IF she was a total stranger, first time poster here, I'd have a different take on this. But Ivory has proven for years that she's incapable of changing. You're wasting your breath and insults trying. Ivory's home is not the best solution for her daughter. It never has been and never will be. This girl needs a fair chance to build her own life and having her own housing is that chance.
So now you're an expert on my family and know it's dysfunctional? You don't know me from Adam. You've read bits and pieces that for whatever reason at the time I chose to talk about. You don't have half the information you'd need to make this declaration.
Thats a nice thought and the way it absolutely should be...but unfortunately, she has already proven that she would much rather this baby be aborted or given up for adoption. She does not want this grandchild.
I never said I'd rather see the baby aborted. Please refrain from putting words in my mouth.
Yes, I would rather see this baby put up for adoption and raised by a family that is ready for a baby. This child will have a tough life because it has an uneducated teen mom. I think adoption would be putting the baby first. I have never once said she should kill it.
We have to figure out whether she can get on Medicaid. Right now she's on my insurance. While I may be able to drop her in October, we have to be certain that she will get Medicaid because I won't be able to put her back on my insurance until the next open enrollment period. For the moment, she has my insurance and we have time to figure out what to do WRT insurance in the future. Fortunately, my open enrollment period is before the baby is born so if she can get Medicaid, I should be able to drop her from my insurance.
I'm trying to get her to go down with me later in the week to see what she can get WRT housing assistance. She's not too keen on going to the welfare office but she needs to. She's not in position to support herself and a baby right now. I think with what they are making, if they get food stamps and Medicaid, they'll be able to afford a small apartment on their own. He's working two jobs and she's working. He's making about $500/week and she's making $250/week (I don't know what they pay in taxes if anything). If they can get a subsidized apartment and food stamps I think they'll do ok.
They don't need a subsidized apartment to get the ball rolling. It would be nice, but there will be a long waiting list. What are the chances that you will take her back into your home "just until the subsidized apartment is available"? I would not present the subsidized apartment as a deciding factor, though I think you are totally right to look into it and get them on the list.
They need a small, cheap, relatively safe apartment near her work now. They can continue to seek more assistance programs after they have a roof over their heads. If they get it (subsidized housing), great, if not, they are off on their way anyway, and possibly better off for having done it "on their own". With your help of course, lol.
Here's an option for her to think about--once she is on her own and supporting herself, she will qualify for LOTS of federal aid for higher education. There are lots of grants that include housing in the covered expenses, and lots of "married student housing" on campuses that are so much nicer than the crappy apartment they'll be starting out in. Just something for her to think about for her own future!
Did you call your insurance office today to find out about moving her off your insurance, or are you just going by what's been said here (I might have missed that)? What were you able to find out about the crisis pregnancy services she's eligible for?
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