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I understand why you would if your kid was lazy refusing to get a job, did drugs or illegal activity but if your kid was working, contributing and following rules why would you kick them out no matter what age? Kicking your kid out just because you all a sudden think they should become independent is bad parenting and is just washing your hands and saying I do not want to deal with them anymore. If you kick them out and they become homeless you did not really help them at all in fact you hurt them and their future. I am 27 and live with my parents and even though many people may look down on me for that so what why should I pay rent to and live with strangers when I can enjoy living with my family? It seems the community of family is gone from this culture people would rather move out and live with strangers then live with their own family.
This is the problem with America...kicking kids out at 18 because you have basically "given up" and can't hack it as a parent. This is why today's youth loves to get into trouble, loves abusing drugs and alcohol and has hatred in their heart. If my parents kicked me out when I was 18, believe me...I would have an agenda against the world. Tell your friend to be a real parent. 18 is way too young...18 is when kids need their parents the most for guidance, nurturing and support.
I hear what all of you are sayting...however I feel that there is a flip side. My daughtere physically hurt me and then lied about it and i was arrested just for disiplining her. She is 18. Now I do not want her in my home at all, due to the fact that i can always be afraid of her lies that she might tell the police again in order to get me removed permanently out of my home. So there is always two sides to every story. I adopted her and I truly love her, but I feel at the age of 64 I should not have to live like this for anyone. I do not need the constantly screaming, lying, stealing, etc in my life anymore. It is not that I have given up or bad parenting skills either.
My daughter is 18 with my grand baby but she is very disrespectful has kids trashing my house when I am at work quit school no job does nothing to help me her step father (her dad died) is fed up with our relationship isn't going well because of my daughters messy disrespect is too much to handle she tries running the house my grand baby lives with us so don't know what to do she's only a year old my daughter decided to get pregnant now we support both
I'm in New Zealand in the process of kicking out my 18 yr old she does what ever she wants. Has no respect pays nothing and I'm sick of it everyday is a war zone it's never her fault. At 18 is an Adult and can move her ass out of my house I'm done has other family she can live with.
My son is about to turn 11 and we have decide if thing dont change we are kicking him out at 18! we spend 1 hour a week at therapy with him his reply is he wants what he wants when he wants it period! no one here has solutions just the same garbage that has seemed to turn a generation into thugs criminals disrespect punks we parent get get into trouble for spanking them or anything else we might need to do to curtail them into line and then when they go out into society and they rob or kill its the parents fault! Period! Society is at fault! period when someone is seeing a child being disciplined in public they call dfs for child abuse! when a parent sends a meal to school with there child and the child decide im not eating this and tell the school they didn't give me enough food dfs is called! When as above (I do believe our first responsibility, as parents, is to equip our children to be successful adults.
With the 18-year-old girl who will not follow house rules, putting her out on the street - while certainly "tough love" - I would not do simply for safety reasons.
An 18-y.o. girl, alone and without income, is not safe. She would be prime pickin's for any number of predators. Teaching someone a lesson at the cost of their personal safety isn't a good.)
Its abuse why and how have we become so stupid we created this nightmare by protecting them starting at the play grounds padding the ground in case of a fall teaching these kids early on that they are invincible no bully areas in schools crazy not allow to defend yourself no fighting it just doent work its not natural if they dont learn early to make good decisions the consequences can be painful! We have got to pull our heads out of our butt holes and saying it smells good up there! Reality is that yes we want it all for our children but its a (double edged sword) you can not have the good without the bad (with great power comes great responsibility)!
My son is about to turn 11 and we have decide if thing dont change we are kicking him out at 18! we spend 1 hour a week at therapy with him his reply is he wants what he wants when he wants it period!
If your child is not able to change in 7 years, I don't know what to tell you, but obviously, there must be more to this story in terms of what he is doing that has you upset and what you have been doing in response. Why is he in therapy to begin with? Have you followed any parenting advice his therapist has given you? What does this therapist say?
no one here has solutions just the same garbage that has seemed to turn a generation into thugs criminals disrespect punks we parent get get into trouble for spanking them or anything else we might need to do to curtail them into line and then when they go out into society and they rob or kill its the parents fault! Period! Society is at fault! period when someone is seeing a child being disciplined in public they call dfs for child abuse! when a parent sends a meal to school with there child and the child decide im not eating this and tell the school they didn't give me enough food dfs is called! When as above (I do believe our first responsibility, as parents, is to equip our children to be successful adults.
With the 18-year-old girl who will not follow house rules, putting her out on the street - while certainly "tough love" - I would not do simply for safety reasons.
An 18-y.o. girl, alone and without income, is not safe. She would be prime pickin's for any number of predators. Teaching someone a lesson at the cost of their personal safety isn't a good.)
Its abuse why and how have we become so stupid we created this nightmare by protecting them starting at the play grounds padding the ground in case of a fall teaching these kids early on that they are invincible no bully areas in schools crazy not allow to defend yourself no fighting it just doent work its not natural if they dont learn early to make good decisions the consequences can be painful! We have got to pull our heads out of our butt holes and saying it smells good up there! Reality is that yes we want it all for our children but its a (double edged sword) you can not have the good without the bad (with great power comes great responsibility)!
This generation is not thugs or criminals. Individuals commit crimes and thuggish acts. Teen crime is falling, not rising. Juvenile arrest rates reached a historic low in 2014. There are, however, hot spots of crime because of gangs - do you live in one of these hot spots? Teen pregnancy has also declined dramatically. Less kids smoke cigarettes. Teens binge drink less than they did in the past. Fewer teens have unprotected sex, which may be why less are having babies. Teens today are generally better behaved than their parents were - they are less likely to fight in school, less likely to bring weapons to school, but they have some other dangers that are risky like texting while driving.
Today's American teenagers are the most sensitive, least violent, least bullying, least racist, least homophobic, most globally-minded, most compassionate, most environmentally-conscious, least dogmatic, and overall kindest group of young people this country has ever known.
They were raised to be nice to each other. They have always been encouraged to be tolerant with each other. They weren't allowed to hit each other in the sandbox while adults looked the other way and let them "work it out on their own". They don't smoke as much as my generation did, they don't drink (or drink and drive) as much as my generation did, they don't beat each other up as much as my generation did, and they aren't as mean to each other as my generation was. They don't even have as much sex as my generation did.
My child rearing theory has always been along the lines of "You don't want to follow the rules? You lose privileges of living here."
"Can't be home on time? Give me your house key."
"Can't be home for dinner? Couldn't bother to call? Your dinner is in the trash. Good luck."
"Can't put your dirty clothes in the hamper? Guess you'll have dirty clothes to wear."
"Not getting your homework done? Do it at the kitchen table, not in your room, and oh...give me your phone."
Etc.
I'm also all about showing some sympathy for the kid, when he's experiencing the consequences of his actions. "Yeah...I know it sucks that your favorite shirt is dirty on picture day. Gosh, if ONLY you had put it in the dirty clothes, and it would've been clean!"
"Yes, I know it's quieter in the bedroom to do your homework, but you seem to have a problem getting it done without more supervision, thus the reason why you're doing it at the table."
I also believe in giving kids a chance to earn those privileges back, if they reapply themselves in the right direction.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beckycat
I have a friend whose daughter is refusing to follow the rules of the house. Kids these days think they know it all! What is the legal way to kick her out in FL?
Is it the parent who wants to kick the child out, or is it your idea and now you're trying to get all the info gathered so your plan can be put into action?
Why?
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