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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Dude, come on. Sources, sources is the key. Ya only buy about half of why ya read in the internet, especially a site like Wikipedia, everyone knows or should know that it's not a be all end all source of USA nuclear deterrent policy. LOL, Jeez this is laughable.
Are you aware that just about anyone can add to Wikipedia???
Yes, and you can check the footnotes (Actually wiki has shown to be very reliable), but you can read government policies, security briefs, national security treatises, etc that touch on it to.
The reality is there isn't anything out there countering it. The process isn't a secret.
That piece is from "Bruce G. Blair, a former Minuteman missile-launch officer and research scholar at Princeton University’s Program on Science and Global Security"
I have no idea why you would think it is any more complicated than this. It makes sense it is simple since it needs to be decided in an instant.
Yes, and you can check the footnotes (Actually wiki has shown to be very reliable), but you can read government policies, security briefs, national security treatises, etc that touch on it to.
The reality is there isn't anything out there countering it. The process isn't a secret.
That piece is from "Bruce G. Blair, a former Minuteman missile-launch officer and research scholar at Princeton University’s Program on Science and Global Security"
I have no idea why you would think it is any more complicated than this. It makes sense it is simple since it needs to be decided in an instant.
So yeah, "dude, come on"
I think the only valid source would be the DoD or some other US governmental agency. I wouldn't think that the US government would make those policies public. I also have heard anecdotally that certain computerized sequences are in place for an extreme situations, again, don't have data to back that up. That part sound automated to a certain degree and doesn't appear to have to rely on the president. This part might really be just anecdotal stuff in the interest of being fair minded.
What’s the harm in saying that to someone who would like answers instead of acting like you owe them nothing?
I’ve certainly felt like I have owed people no explanation in my lifetime and have had trouble putting directly in to words what I mean to be saying, but if they left confused I would attempt to tell them my side of the story.
That’s just being a decent person to someone.
If someone has given you no reason to fear or avoid them you shouldn’t avoid a dialogue with them.
Because explaining the reasons why you aren't interested in dating someone, is only going to hurt them in many cases. And it doesn't matter anyway. There is no obligation for "closure" either, between two people who have never dated each other.
And nine times out of ten, if they give reasons why they aren't interested, the rejected person is going to argue with the reasons.
It leads nowhere.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I think the only valid source would be the DoD or some other US governmental agency. I wouldn't think that the US government would make those policies public. I also have heard anecdotally that certain computerized sequences are in place for an extreme situations, again, don't have data to back that up. That part sound automated to a certain degree and doesn't appear to have to rely on the president. This part might really be just anecdotal stuff in the interest of being fair minded.
Anyways, whatever, not the point of the thread.
Well, you can read on the works done by National Security Fellows (ph.d. students in the military) that aren't classified. We had a number of them at the Kennedy School. I actually had quite the crush on the one that got wrapped up in the affair with Petraeus. She was a goddess.
Because explaining the reasons why you aren't interested in dating someone, is only going to hurt them in many cases. And it doesn't matter anyway. There is no obligation for "closure" either, between two people who have never dated each other.
And nine times out of ten, if they give reasons why they aren't interested, the rejected person is going to argue with the reasons.
It leads nowhere.
That’s a lot of projection.
You realize “rejection” isn’t just limited to cold approaches, right?
Because explaining the reasons why you aren't interested in dating someone, is only going to hurt them in many cases. And it doesn't matter anyway. There is no obligation for "closure" either, between two people who have never dated each other.
And nine times out of ten, if they give reasons why they aren't interested, the rejected person is going to argue with the reasons.
It leads nowhere.
It depends a lot on the guy, how well I know him.
Rando from OK Cupid who sends me some lame come-on and nothing in our profiles indicates we'd be compatible or even fun together, but hey he figures "she checked the casual sex button, so she'll bang any guy! I'm gonna git some!" I owe that man zero explanation as to why I won't talk to him or date him. My first negative response will be a polite "No thanks" but if he persists, he's either getting blocked and ignored, or completely messed with for my entertainment in ridiculous and possibly insulting ways.
Take no for an answer. Don't be that guy.
He's also most likely to try and argue.
Of course thankfully I'm not on OKC anymore, but it was a silly place sometimes.
Then there are friends who have been dangling around hoping for more, even though I've probably said it wasn't possible or something. See, I can usually tell when a guy really wants more than friendship. And I usually will make it clear what my position is on that as a possibility or NOT fairly early on. The reason will usually be in whatever I said to try and illuminate the terrain. Such as how I am in a serious and committed relationship now. Or how I was really looking for something very particular in a partner, or how I was not available to date, or something. But sometimes guys pretend to be ok with just friends until well down the line and eventually try to make a move. And I'm left explaining why, which I am very likely to try and do, but it still hurts them.
They don't often argue, but the often clearly don't believe what I am telling them, even though it's true.
A lot of the time, I've actually developed enough of a friendship with them, and I can tell that a relationship actually wouldn't work out well between us for very long, and that in the end I will have nothing. No partner and no friend, just a few good memories, another name on the list of sex partners, and the stress of somebody's heart getting broken. So when I say, "I don't want to screw up our friendship because I value it," I freaking mean it. Guys never want to believe that, but it is true.
How much of my time (which is valuable to me) I will give a guy in trying to be kind and tell him why I don't want to be his girl, depends a great deal on how much I give a rat's backside about him. I don't owe some stranger my time, if I don't feel like giving it.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,874 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
That’s a lot of projection.
You realize “rejection” isn’t just limited to cold approaches, right?
Like you, I also believe in showing kindness, tact and honesty when rejecting someone. Yeah, nobody is 'obligated' to provide any type of closure or explanation to someone they want to part ways with - but, it's just the right thing to do...and, doing so will show that person that there ARE kind people in this world.
And, if someone did have the decency to take the time to kindly explain to them why they're 'not feeling it' with that person, then that person has the chance to actually know the real reason why someone isn't into them, which would not only provide the closure that most people need to be able to move on with their lives, but, it could also lead to them improving themselves emotionally, intellectually or physically.
Rejection stings any way ya slice it - but, it hurts a LOT more when a person is unceremoniously dumped or ghosted without any explanation or reason. It can cause bitterness, hopelessness and resentment in a lot of people (especially for guys it seems) which, in turn, can cause some people to give up on dating altogether and to turn away from people in general.
If giving someone (you've rejected) some closure means that there is a chance that they could turn out to want more explanations OR they attempt to try and 'plead their case', THEN you can walk away from them without saying another word - because you know in your heart that at least you TRIED being honest with them in the kindest most sincerest way possible. That's all anyone can ever do.
It's just like with a job interview that a person takes the time to get ready for and drive out to. Most job interviewers don't give a crap about letting the person KNOW *why* they weren't the candidate who was chosen for the position. If they were actually told what the interviewer felt that they did 'wrong' during the interview, that potential job candidate could improve (or brush up on) their interviewing skills or maybe find out that they need something more on their resume, etc.
Without ever truly knowing WHY a person is not chosen for a specific job position OR why they weren't chosen by a particular love interest, that person has NO chance of ever improving the one (or more) specific things about themselves that COULD change their future result(s) to a more positive outcome.
Actually, it's very tactful just to tell someone you're not interested, no chemistry and leave it at that. No further explanation needed. Lengthy explanations are for people who have actually been involved in a relationship.
Rejection stings any way ya slice it - but, it hurts a LOT more when a person is unceremoniously dumped or ghosted without any explanation or reason. It can cause bitterness, hopelessness and resentment in a lot of people (especially for guys it seems) which, in turn, can cause some people to give up on dating altogether and to turn away from people in general.
.
Refusing a date is not ghosting someone or dumping them, since there was never anything to begin with.
Also, a rejection doesn't mean there is something wrong with the person, so they may not need "constructive criticism".
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