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You are just getting all fired up over it. And we both agreed with these male types that if its not the fat its something else. The fat is just used as a derogatory tool. The abuser uses it because they know it will affect the victim. Their objective is self pleasure and control. Not love or friendship.
I just don't want women walking away thinking that if you are thin everything is easier. Its not. Its just a different set of challenges and everyone fat or thin has to deal with some BS every once in awhile.
I'm not saying everything in life is easier for thin women, I was just saying men treat women differently based on size. I have seen it, read about it and experienced for myself... The idea being perpetuated that 'Oh only those abusive derogatory tools' behave like this is false. I notice a lot of men (online anyways) like to play into this 'old school 50s, refined gentleman' thing and I'm sorry it doesn't add up in the real world that way & I am not buying it on any online forum either.
You are just getting all fired up over it. And we both agreed with these male types that if its not the fat its something else. The fat is just used as a derogatory tool. The abuser uses it because they know it will affect the victim. Their objective is self pleasure and control. Not love or friendship.
I just don't want women walking away thinking that if you are thin everything is easier. Its not. Its just a different set of challenges and everyone fat or thin has to deal with some BS every once in awhile.
Actually...when I was thin my life was a lot easier. People definitely treated me better, men were nicer to me (although women were a bit more difficult to get along with) and my workplace was a lot calmer. I look back now (I'm a bit heavier) and laugh because of how easy I had it back then. Once I started gaining weight (medical condition) the niceties basically went away. Guys stopped being nice, it was more difficult getting things done at work (amazing how a smile an bat of a eye can get stuff done when you're pretty) and most of the guys at work were basically unwilling to help me out. They'd go out of their way to help the pretty thin girls out though.
I'm not saying everything in life is easier for thin women, I was just saying men treat women differently based on size. I have seen it, read about it and experienced for myself... The idea being perpetuated that 'Oh only those abusive derogatory tools' behave like this is false. I notice a lot of men (online anyways) like to play into this 'old school 50s, refined gentleman' thing and I'm sorry it doesn't add up in the real world that way & I am not buying it on any online forum either.
Guys that like thick women can be just as harsh to the skinnies. I agree it can be size based but not fat based alone. You just seemed to experience a storm of abusive males. I don't think LTR material men act like this. Not all men are LTR material or are in a LTR seeking phase.
I experienced something slightly different IRL. Neither of our experiences means more than the other in my brain. Its just a collective share of different life experiences.
Guys that like thick women can be just as harsh to the skinnies. I agree it can be size based but not fat based alone. You just seemed to experience a storm of abusive males. I don't think LTR material men act like this. Not all men are LTR material or are in a LTR seeking phase.
I experienced something slightly different IRL. Neither of our experiences means more than the other in my brain. Its just a collective share of different life experiences.
And some guys who like their women 'thick', as yours truly does, are not 'harsh' or anything to those who are not thick.
I'm getting a bit tired of this 'all or nothing' crap thinking that's going on here. Yes, we have preferences but at the same time we are not all trashing those who do not live up to them. That's what sets apart the men from the boys and apparently Doll Eyes has only been around boys. Too bad for her, she doesn't know what she's missing by only being around them.
When I was really skinny - I was treated worse by women but not men. I've never been heavy - but I will say that you do get treated better overall by men the more attractive that you are. But as far as the OP goes - I see women of all shapes and sizes in relationships. My grandfather actually liked really big women. And I have a friend that prefers bigger women as well. His wife has put on a lot of weight since they got married - and he seems as happy as a clam!
Actually...when I was thin my life was a lot easier. People definitely treated me better, men were nicer to me (although women were a bit more difficult to get along with) and my workplace was a lot calmer. I look back now (I'm a bit heavier) and laugh because of how easy I had it back then. Once I started gaining weight (medical condition) the niceties basically went away. Guys stopped being nice, it was more difficult getting things done at work (amazing how a smile an bat of a eye can get stuff done when you're pretty) and most of the guys at work were basically unwilling to help me out. They'd go out of their way to help the pretty thin girls out though.
And the trade off...lol
Maybe that is why I didn't notice it as much though. I never really used that type of action as a tool to get what I wanted. I just did it myself or delegated when the situation called for it.
I noticed small stuff like opening doors etc. Not treatment within interactions that mattered more like work, friends etc. From females though....I agree with the bold. Fat = chicks like you, Thin = chicks say you have an eating disorder if you dare be a size thinner than her.
I bet you had it super rough with the chicks. Thin + tall = they totally hate you because they wish they were you. LOL
Maybe that is why I didn't notice it as much though. I never really used that type of action as a tool to get what I wanted. I just did it myself or delegated when the situation called for it.
I noticed small stuff like opening doors etc. Not treatment within interactions that mattered more like work, friends etc. From females though....I agree with the bold. Fat = chicks like you, Thin = chicks say you have an eating disorder if you dare be a size thinner than her.
I bet you had it super rough with the chicks. Thin + tall = they totally hate you because they wish they were you. LOL
Luckily I worked with mostly men... but oh man their girlfriends/wives HATED me. I never once gave any indication whatsoever that I was interested in any of the guys I worked with (and believe me...I wasn't) but they were so threatened by me. All of a sudden their ladies were bringing them lunch every day, and stopping in to say hello...it was a crack up
The guys all went out of their way to help the receptionist/CSR girls though...with me they basically ignored me once I gained 20 lbs. It was a bummer, but hearing how they talked about their gf/wives at work really turned me off to EVER pursuing any of them...they were pretty harsh and openly hit on customers even if they were married. Kinda ruined guys for me for a long time.
Chunky girls need love too... I dont think size matters much I think its personality and attitude... Just because your skinny doesnt mean your any fun to be with...Honestly if a guy is a picking a woman based on her waist line I dont want to be with him anyways.... So I wouldnt think twice about it. All based on prefrenences and if you take it personal thats on you not on them...
Luckily I worked with mostly men... but oh man their girlfriends/wives HATED me. I never once gave any indication whatsoever that I was interested in any of the guys I worked with (and believe me...I wasn't) but they were so threatened by me. All of a sudden their ladies were bringing them lunch every day, and stopping in to say hello...it was a crack up
The guys all went out of their way to help the receptionist/CSR girls though...with me they basically ignored me once I gained 20 lbs. It was a bummer, but hearing how they talked about their gf/wives at work really turned me off to EVER pursuing any of them...they were pretty harsh and openly hit on customers even if they were married. Kinda ruined guys for me for a long time.
Yup they will straight up ignore you or shoot you a dirty look, give a snarky comment (especially if you try to interject w/ something relevant) during this scenario. Will really make you feel like a piece of crap for simply existing, unfortunately. Has happened a million times, regardless of 'niceties and positive attitude' you had going in.....but I'm sure you're making this up and it never actually took place.
Could it be possible that the thinner ones are more vain and superficial? Maybe the chunkier ones have learned that beauty has to come from within and that there are certain guys who are attracted to that. I'm a mom of all boys, never had a daughter. But from what I see of the younger girls these days, they are all wrapped in how they look without concentrating on their personalities and they are just so full of drama. Already, the poster has put themself in a position of judging overweight females and to me as a mom, that comes across as being a little snooty! What makes a thin person anymore special or lovable than a chunkier person???
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