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An "ugly" man can certainly get a woman, as long as he has SOME income and is not an abuser or drug user. The "problem" is that he'll have to settle for a less than attractive woman, and very few men are willing to concede that. Every man, regardless of appearance makes a beeline for the 8's, 9's, and 10's with all other women sitting on the sidelines.
So, figure out what YOU'RE willing to concede in a woman and stop complaining that no one will concede to YOU regarding your looks.
Your generalizations are showing. They're not pretty, or at least the mindset they convey isn't.
An "ugly" man can certainly get a woman, as long as he has SOME income and is not an abuser or drug user. The "problem" is that he'll have to settle for a less than attractive woman, and very few men are willing to concede that. Every man, regardless of appearance makes a beeline for the 8's, 9's, and 10's with all other women sitting on the sidelines.
So, figure out what YOU'RE willing to concede in a woman and stop complaining that no one will concede to YOU regarding your looks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
Your generalizations are showing. They're not pretty, or at least the mindset they convey isn't.
Of course it's a generalization! And an exaggeration! But let's face it, anyone can get SOMEONE if they set their sights low enough. Sad...no one wants to say it or believe it because somehow we're all above average (even if we're ugly) and most of all we DESERVE it! So...figure out your worth and gauge the worth of others...and be realistic. It's that or live in a dream world hitting your head against a wall coming here on c-d asking for advice. LIFE is full of concessions....relationships are no different.
I don't make a beeline for the 8-10s, I typically go for the 2-5s and even they won't touch me. Lowering your standards isn't necessarily the issue.
Then apparently you need to make OTHER concessions, perhaps in addition to that! Or maybe your sample is too small...or maybe you sabotage yourself...or maybe your delivery is terrible...all those those things lower your odds so you either recognize that and adjust or get ready for a long wait. Didn't your parents tell you that life isn't fair?
It's not true to you in my opinion polls and studies are not accurate. You can have a sample size of 1,000 people and most of them go for option A and say your study concludes the findings that option A is the best. Now take another poll of another group of 1,000 people and that group finds option B is better. See what i'm saying? Unless you can get data on everyone the polls, studies, opinions are not accurate. It's just an accurate finding on that small sample size of people.
Have you had and passed a single statistics course? I think they even teach this stuff in high school now.
If the group is representative (there's the rub!) then the poll will be accurate to within a set range of percentage points depending on the size of the group. The bigger the group, sure, the smaller the range....but you can be surprisingly accurate with a small group of representative people.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Then apparently you need to make OTHER concessions, perhaps in addition to that! Or maybe your sample is too small...or maybe you sabotage yourself...or maybe your delivery is terrible...all those those things lower your odds so you either recognize that and adjust or get ready for a long wait. Didn't your parents tell you that life isn't fair?
Nope they told me life sucked, but thanks for asking.
Your point of anyone can get someone if they set their sights low enough ain't true.
If you're not getting dates, it's probably not because of your looks. Unless you're a cyclops or something.
Go walk around a mall or hang out in public for a day, go to the zoo, etc. You'll see loads of average or below average looking men walking around with women that are average looking at worse. Looking like guys from Duck Dynasty is a very popular look for guys these days where I live. If you're not getting dates, there's most likely something else that's wrong and it's not your looks. I've said this on here a million times, I feel like I need to make it my sig.
You might as well say that is ugly people aren't good enough for true love with someone we are attracted to (not a ten). If I want to live a fantasy I'm better off with porn at least I don't have to worry about losing my money.
Nope as i said before there are plenty of "ugly" people that are married and have kids. Ugly is a broad term. Are we talking elephant man ugly or just unattractive? Lots of people feel they are ugly when they really aren't just low self esteem.
Of course it's a generalization! And an exaggeration! But let's face it, anyone can get SOMEONE if they set their sights low enough. Sad...no one wants to say it or believe it because somehow we're all above average (even if we're ugly) and most of all we DESERVE it! So...figure out your worth and gauge the worth of others...and be realistic. It's that or live in a dream world hitting your head against a wall coming here on c-d asking for advice. LIFE is full of concessions....relationships are no different.
We all know a few people who are absolutely gorgeous and their looks generate interest from also gorgeous people. They may face some other romantic challenges like feeling valued as a person, but I think most of us ordinary or outright unattractive people would take a chance on being beautiful and facing that challenge. It would be tough, but.....
So the rest of us are, if we're well adjusted, looking for things we like in a person. Because we want companionship and we're realistic we may gravitate toward people who aren't great looking overall, but who have several or at least a few traits we really like. The fewer generally attractive traits we possess, the more likely we'll pair up with someone who himself or herself has few generally attractive traits. Which brings us to the two posts below.
It's possible that no one we're interested in will return that interest. That can be because someone just over values him or herself. It can also be more intractable than that. To just grab a wild #, if there are 20 traits that can grab the attention of another person, and really attractive people are strong in 17 or 18 of those traits and not weak in any, there are also people who are weak in 17 or 18 of those traits and not very strong in any. In those cases it may be practically impossible for them to find someone who they share a mutual attraction with. At the very least, those people may have to search a long time before finding even a slight mutual spark with someone else. I'm not saying that this is Dissenter's plight, but I don't know.
I think we're quick to assume that people who fail aren't trying or are setting themselves up for failure. So when someone vents about how hard it is to find someone, they could be lazy or stubborn or entitled, but they could also be sad and frustrated.
Life indeed isn't fair. Most of us treat that statement as sort of an abstraction, or can apply it to ourselves only in a very limited way. Some people live it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Then apparently you need to make OTHER concessions, perhaps in addition to that! Or maybe your sample is too small...or maybe you sabotage yourself...or maybe your delivery is terrible...all those those things lower your odds so you either recognize that and adjust or get ready for a long wait. Didn't your parents tell you that life isn't fair?
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Nope they told me life sucked, but thanks for asking.
Your point of anyone can get someone if they set their sights low enough ain't true.
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