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What an interesting ... and profound! ... thing to say.
I would put it a little differently: I've given up on looking for Love. It MAY find me anyway.
Yes, I think that is somewhat true. I have had offers of love over the years ... it was my choice not to accept them. Some friends and acquaintances of mine are always complaining about not finding "true love" (whatever that is) but when I remind them of people who wanted to date them or were interested in them they usually dismiss me with something like "oh, he's not in my league" or "I want a lady with a bigger rack" or "I'm holding out for someone better." Let's be honest! It's easy to join the "Pity Party" and complain about not finding our perfect mate, but does the perfect really exist?
Could just be my mindset is screwed....but I honestly get closer and closer to giving up on it everyday.
I don't feel confident that I will somehow experience it one way or the other, if I do I will probably be way older. I do feel a little out of place, but I guess thing are suppose to be this way. My friends make jokes about how I have so many male friends but no bf lol it's not easy finding someone that is on your level. Let alone someone who likes/loves you back.
I know my mindset is screwed about a lot of things.
I've become a Kurtz: Clear in his head, but his soul is mad.
I'm getting closer to giving up on dating altogether. Each day that passes I'm getting more content living by myself and taking care of myself and my dog. I check in with my family every nw and then. Dating and relationships are just too much work and it's easier to stay alone.
Way easier to stay alone... Other people will drive me crazy.
The question is: "Single people: have any of you given up on finding love or a committed relationship? Whether yes or no, please explain why."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hatetheheat01
Pretty much.
I have nothing to offer.
Please don't say that, it's not true.
Of course you have plenty to offer ... your intelligence, your personality, your empathy, your support, your kindness, your companionship, your affection, your sexuality, your sense of humor.
If a person says he has "nothing to offer" what is being communicated is "I'm worthless." Do you think that about yourself?
I know when some people experience frustration in not finding affection, and are always being rejected, ignored and dismissed it's easy to start thinking 'nobody wants me. I'm ugly. I'm stupid. I'm a loser. No one in his/her right mind would want to date me. I am a worthless piece of sh-t!"
This is a cause of low self esteem and self loathing.
I'm not one of those people who glibly states "Snap out of it! Have more confidence in yourself!" (Easier said than done, right? Like telling a person who suffers from depression 'Just cheer up!')
Perhaps it would be helpful to analyze the situation. I was feeling disappointed in not having luck in finding love ... because I was rebuffed by a few individuals I was infatuated with. A friend of mine pointed out (rightfully!) that #1 I had rejected several people over the years that wanted me; and #2 it appears I set very high standards for my "perfect soulmate." I understand that now, and have learned that I charted my own destiny - to be single rather than "settle" for someone who I was not passionately in love with. Did I make the right choice? Who knows?
I am pretty but chubby. Therefore I am unworthy of being loved unless I starve myself or have drastic surgery.
Doesn't matter that I treat my boyfriend like gold and adore him. I committed the ultimate sin of being fat, so I deserve to die alone.
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