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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
If there is one silver lining to my situation compared to others here, it is that I am young and have plenty of time to get my together. Who knows where I will be in two years? I may have a grad degree, a better job, and maybe even a few less pounds. But right now, dating is not on my radar.
Well two years later I earned a graduate certificate. But have completely given up on finding love.
Last edited by The Dissenter; 06-04-2015 at 06:09 AM..
I went to my weekly rap group for men over 50 at a community center, and this topic came up. I thought it was interesting.
The question is: "Single people: have any of you given up on finding love or a committed relationship? Whether yes or no, please explain why."
I would love it if you would share your thoughts on this topic.
I'm seriously considering "giving up" again. I gave up after splitting w/my son's father over 20 years ago. I convinced myself I didn't need love, or sex, intimacy or anybody. Now, I realize I did nothing but shut myself off to life. I've, admittedly, screwed myself over as far as finding love goes. Now, in my early 50s, my desire for intimacy is pathetically strong; I've a ton of affection to give, and I have a huge desire to receive it... I'm involved with a guy right now who is not interested in anything long-term with me... He's looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with, and it ain't me. Personally, I wouldn't know if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this guy because we've only know each other for about 8 months. He pursued me "looking for a girlfriend" but he's made it clear I'm not what he's looking for, but he likes me. Yes, we sleep together, and go out... to dinner, events... dates, I guess... but, there's no future in it, and I know that everytime I spend the night with him I'm just making my feelings stronger, which will make the ending more difficult for me. But, like I said, I've not had any...ANY intimacy with a man in my life is years... I've got the "get-it-while-I-can" attitude going, but my heart isn't able to stay out of it. I'm afraid if I do find someone now, it'll be too late. Too late for my heart, to late for my libido... and too late for me to be physically attractive to someone. I feel screwed, not in a good way.
Thanks for the thread. It's giving me an opportunity to sort out my thoughts. Lucky CD-er's, eh?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
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I almost did, a couple of years ago, but I fell in love again for the first time in many many years a year ago this month. I very much want that feeling again.
Yes because, after thirty years of asking women out, and being told that I'm undateable because I have cerebral palsy, and one blind date after another going south for the same reason, I'm simply too sick of hearing women basically telling me I'm worthless because of something that I was born with, have no control over, and is not my fault.
On the other hand, no because I'm only 45 years old, and will (I hope) be around for several more decades, so there just might be somebody out there who will look past my wheelchair and want to get to know me, the person.
Yeah, I know, history is NOT on my side here, but stranger things have happened.
My feeling now is, it will either happen or it won't. But if it does, it will be up to circumstance. I will no longer actively put any effort into it. "Those who don't learn from history", and all that.....
I'm a typical Leo; I've got a big heart, I fall in love hard, and I like to show the person I'm with how I feel about them all the time. When I was younger, really up until I got married, I was pretty idealistic in my views about love. After I got divorced, and I had a few other relationships that ended for one reason or another, and as I got older, I realized that love isn't something that rains down on you; it's something you build from the ground up.
I'm still romantic and show affection for people I love, but I have to say the only person I have that kind of special, unique type of love for is my son. He's what I'm most proud of. I love my parents, I have a certain kind of affection for my son's mother, I love my family, but he's the one. I hope to find a woman one day that I can build something with. Something that will grow into love over time, but with the understanding that the love people talk about movies and music and romance novels doesn't exist in real life.
Hi I'm a man now 58 given up finding love I'm one of those nice guys so its hope less
I am sorry to hear you say that. I know women can be tough but not all of them are and some of them are looking for the real deal - honest guy who is loyal, has integrity, etc. good with his hands or sweet and thoughtful? the non-materialistic types are def out there but in the minority.
Do what you do and keep your heart open. Sometimes life can be surprising. I hope you find someone you can really build something with when you least expect it.
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together. Who knows where I will be in two years? I may have a grad degree, a better job, and maybe even a few less pounds. But right now, dating is not on my radar.
