Single people: have any of you "given up on love"? (couple, feelings)
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Of course it's depressing and disturbing. It's a sad side to our lives, and it's very real for quite a few of us. But just because we didn't get love, it doesn't mean that we don't have happiness in "productive, positive forms" in other parts of our lives. I do. However, not finding love IS the specific topic of the thread.
Indeed, coming to terms that one is "unlucky in love" is the thread's topic.
I think many people here have shared their experiences with how to cope with it.
For me, it was an educational experience. I learned something about myself. Earlier in this thread I mentioned that I was a romantic, sensitive guy ... one who assumed some day I would meet the love of my life and live happily ever after. That never happened.
I learned to accept my predicament.
I learned that I was a whole person even as a single person ... not someone else's "other half."
I learned that yearning, craving, and desiring things is a form of misery. It is the opposite of contentment and serenity.
I have learned to love myself, and now - finally - I do not need validation from other people. I think this is the beginning a life long love affair.
Whatever happens in the future I do not know, I'm not a psychic. I rejoice in everything that have attained and have let go of past disappointments ...
If I'm reading your post right, I disagree in the strongest possible way. I probably WOULD be willing to have a gf again, depending, but there's no way in all of creation that I'd get married again. Want to spend many years together, hang out, travel, camp, whatever, in addition to normal relationship stuff (sex)? Great. Marriage? Out of the question, get out of my car and get out of my life.
I ever have another relationship, first time she brings up marriage, she gets a warning. Second time, she's shown the door.
I don't really get what you're attempting to express, but to clarify my post... if the sex happens too early without a series of demonstrable acts of commitment, then a woman should be incredulous and act accordingly.
And if you're having sex within the first few months w/o acts and verbal proclamations of verifiable, exclusive commitment (verbally and via action) then you should be viewed with skepticism, too.
Didn't know this thread was still going, but someone repped me for a post, so I started reading it again. This is from last year, but I'm still going to quote it:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylandkitten
...If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy the solitude. It's because they have tried fitting into into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them...
I have.. 2 marriages and I am done..I am not even remotely open to it..or I dont think i am until I see a nice looking or funny guy and then I wonder..
I don't really get what you're attempting to express, but to clarify my post... if the sex happens too early without a series of demonstrable acts of commitment, then a woman should be incredulous and act accordingly.
And if you're having sex within the first few months w/o acts and verbal proclamations of verifiable, exclusive commitment (verbally and via action) then you should be viewed with skepticism, too.
All told, a man is still a man.
Pretty much this is my lesson learned.
In a way, I don't regret it (the sex that is, it was good), but I do regret giving this guy a piece of my heart since he obviously didn't want it. I think he wants to be sad. Why do I say that? He's still going around with a "poor me, women don't love me" attitude. Okay, maybe I wasn't his type or something, but still. How can he wallow in that? When I was in the process of falling for him, I used to think he was a diamond in the rough, that no one could see what a wonderful guy he was--that he was under appreciated by women. In a lot of ways, he is a good man, he can be very kind and generous to people and he's worked hard and given back to society. He has a lot of friends who care about him a lot. These good qualities are what attracted me to him in the first place. But when it comes to love, he's miserable and alone because he chooses to be.
I guess the difference between me and him is that I just wrack it up to bad luck with men and I am just moving on to other focuses. My life is pretty happy and balanced and being in a relationship would simply add to the goodness. I will make the best of it and who knows (I never say never ). He also wracks it up to bad luck but is still looking and is sullen about it and sometimes bitter. It's like he likes to be the victim and doesn't want to make the best of things.
Anyway, lesson learned. Maybe a bit the hard way, but still learned.
Last edited by jillabean; 05-28-2014 at 06:50 AM..
Many off-topic posts have been deleted from the thread. Folks, stay on topic or refrain from posting.
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Given up? No. Extremely skeptical and keep partners at an arms distance? Yes
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). He also wracks it up to bad luck but is still looking and is sullen about it and sometimes bitter. It's like he likes to be the victim and doesn't want to make the best of things. 
