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What exactly does Calipoppy mean by pursue then? I took "pursue" to mean ask a man out. If he said no, you respectfully move on.
I would define "pursue" as asking a man out and initiating a date with romantic intentions.
My point of view comes from far too many "why did he date me if he didn't want a committed relationship blah blah blah..." type conversations with friends. Far too many. And the common thread in these "woe is me" stories is that the woman pursued the guy in some way, shape or form.
Women need to stop thinking that a man saying "yes" to a date means that he automatically likes you or sees you with romantic interest. It doesn't. A man having sex with you does not mean that he likes you or sees you as his "girl". It doesn't. And women are really confused by these facts.
I would define "pursue" as asking a man out and initiating a date with romantic intentions.
My point of view comes from far too many "why did he date me if he didn't want a committed relationship blah blah blah..." type conversations with friends. Far too many. And the common thread in these "woe is me" stories is that the woman pursued the guy in some way, shape or form.
Women need to stop thinking that a man saying "yes" to a date means that he automatically likes you or sees you with romantic interest. It doesn't. A man having sex with you does not mean that he likes you or sees you as his "girl". It doesn't. And women are really confused by these facts.
Yeah, unfortunately, I think men view things slightly different than women. A man will be with a woman he doesn't have much interest in faster than the other way around...
I don't know.... sorta screwed up, but it just is the way it is.......
Last edited by Chowhound; 06-19-2013 at 10:45 PM..
Most women only go out of there way to pursue certain guys
It's not a big deal tho, there's alot of happily married couples where the women knew she liked the guy but was NEVER going to put herself out there or let him know until he did. My sister is engaged and she's said the same thing.
It's really crazy to think at how many potential great couples never happened because the woman didnt initiate.
How is it "not going the way that I want it". I have no problem attracting men and feel absolutely no need to pursue/chase/hunt down/seek out/run after men.
If a man is REALLY interested in me then he will pursue me. If a man's attraction to me or desire for me is not strong enough for him to pursue me at the beginning then it certainly won't be strong enough when the relationship extends past the honeymoon stage.
But feminists think that women are just men without penises so none of the natural male/female courtship rules apply to them. Some women are under the false impression that a man saying "yes" to a date with her means that he is "into" her and it simply is not the case. When women ask men out most men interpret that as an opportunity for easy sex. The guy already knows that the girl is interested so he has much less work to do as far as courting her. Most men won't turn down easy sex...why would they?
Many men LOVE feminists because they now have women who ask them out, buy them dinner and offer them sexual favors without even the slightest indication of romantic interest in the woman beyond saying "yes" to a date. And if a woman has the financial means to continue 'buying' the man's affections (by going half or paying for dates, etc.) the "relationship" will last longer...but only until the man finds a woman that he chooses to court.
Most women only go out of there way to pursue certain guys
It's not a big deal tho, there's alot of happily married couples where the women knew she liked the guy but was NEVER going to put herself out there or let him know until he did. My sister is engaged and she's said the same thing.
It's really crazy to think at how many potential great couples never happened because the woman didnt initiate.
But there is a much longer line of disappointed women who love asking men out yet wonder why their relationships never go anywhere.
If a man (shy, nerdy or otherwise) is really interested enough in a woman....he will pursue her. If a man is not asking you out then he really is not that into you. For men, the women who are making their sex lives easy and bountiful are like 'low hanging fruit' that require little to no effort to obtain. When men are ready for marriage they go find a tall ladder and will climb to the top of the tree for the hard to get fruit.
Women can pursue men too. Do you all agree? I'm seeing that girls who go after what they want, provided the guy wants them too, have nothing to lose. If a guy knows he can have the girl back he REALLY wants, even if he's otherwise involved, he will take whom he really wants and it doesn't matter rules or no rules that the girl he really wants was the one to speak up. If you follow what I'm saying, that if a man wants you, he will be with you, period. He just might not always be the one who makes the move. Ladies, maybe you have nothing to lose if you like someone , provided he likes you too and is not on the fence. Comments . . .
Women can pursue too
LOL! reminded me of my sis, she pursued her now husband like there's no tomorrow! I remember our house is flooded (not a big deal on my hometown since we live near the river and rainy season means flood EVERYday!!) and literally she is submerged in flood waters inside our house, and she is in the freaking phone crying (she does that a LOT while on phone with him) and begging him for something. Oh that's a long distance call too since he was in US and we were in Philippines.
Like honestly I real thought she is very pathetic chasing him million miles away. Nice to know though fast forward many years and 4 kids later she is a doctor now living in US with him and they live a very good life.
But there is a much longer line of disappointed women who love asking men out yet wonder why their relationships never go anywhere.
I don't "Love asking men out", it made me very nervous. I was too curious about them to ignore. I didn't get used and I don't regret asking them out. I didn't angst over it or know them. My curiosity was satisfied and the dates went well. You're being over dramatic.
Right. Well, I got the impression jillabean meant by "pursue" -- to "chase", as in: with persistence. I thought the OP's "pursue" meant making some kind of first move, getting the guy's attention, initiating a conversation (or two), and if he doesn't get the hint, asking him out. But nothing beyond asking him out, if he declines or otherwise expresses lack of interest.
Yep, that's exactly what I meant... chase and pursue are synonymous (and annoy most likely, lol). The literal definition of pursue is, "Seek to form a sexual relationship with (someone) in a persistent way."
But asking out and making the first move are okay in my book. Some men are just a little shy. But once the woman breaks the ice, the man needs to help keep things going if he's interested (I would also say the same for women, keep things going if the man breaks the ice).
EDIT: But I will add that I also believe what Calipoppy is saying. Just because a guy says yes to a date or sex doesn't mean he's actually interested in you. If you ask a man out on a date 10 times and he always says yes... but never once asks you out on a date. Then I would think he's not interested. On the flip side, I think a woman is more likely to be interested if these roles were reserved.
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) and begging him for something. Oh that's a long distance call too since he was in US and we were in Philippines. 
