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Old 02-11-2014, 02:39 PM
 
11,864 posts, read 17,027,326 times
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Does this mean I'm unattractive if I'm "untaken"??

 
Old 02-11-2014, 02:44 PM
 
Location: moved
13,681 posts, read 9,765,062 times
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It seems to me that there’s fundamental misunderstanding in this entire thread about the meaning of “attractive”. It’s not the case that men are insatiably hungry for just the extremely physically attractive women, ignoring all others. It’s a tawdry stereotype to assume such things.

A more pressing concern, I think, is to be able to find at least average-looking women. Men would feel deeply wounded and inadequate if it were necessary to “settle” for a woman who is decidedly below-average in appearance. It is not essential that she be beautiful or even cute. What matters is not feeling embarrassed amongst one’s male friends, and not having to backpedal and make excuses that one’s female partner is, in fact, not one’s girlfriend, but some casual associate. The sentiment that the OP seems to describe is that the women who are available for relationships are, as an aggregate, of inferior physical appearance to women at large; that if one takes a random sample of 10 women in a given social setting, and say 6 have partners but the other 4 do not, then of those 6, all will be more or less attractive, and of the other 4, all will be unappealing. This is of course an oversimplification and patently unfair to those four women in our hypothetical sample, but such, I think, is the overarching sentiment. I’m not saying that this is a decent or wise mindset. But I do wish to point out that such mindset is not equivalent to chasing after only the elite in female beauty.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 02:45 PM
 
33,016 posts, read 27,519,895 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
Does this mean I'm unattractive if I'm "untaken"??

No, you are considered by sexual economists as one of the frictionally untaken. (analagous to the concept of frictional unemployment) People normally do not hop directly from one relationship to the next; there is usually a temporal lapse between relationships.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,363 posts, read 20,832,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
Does this mean I'm unattractive if I'm "untaken"??
Yeah, me too. Should we start our own bow wow club?
 
Old 02-11-2014, 03:00 PM
 
184 posts, read 168,723 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501 View Post
I see myself in the part where it says "she would never go for a guy like me" I always think this or some fashion of this. So approaching women became taboo for me and led me to believe the best thing I could do for women was to keep away from them. Tough thought patterns to break. So yeah, I agree with this post.
I've cold approached many women in my lifetime. You are correct in your assumption. They don't want to meet guys.

Cold approaches generally only work in bars. I have had success during the day at places like grocery stores, but you'll probably have to approach 100+ girls before you find one that is open to meeting you.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,323,783 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeathGreetsMeWarm View Post
Theorem. Let X be the set of all attractive women and let Y be the set of all currently available women. Then X intsct Y = ø.

Proof. Life experience.

Today I was at Starbucks reading and saw a girl who works at the front desk at my gym. She always smiles and says bye to me when I leave the gym. I thought about maybe striking up a conversation with her. But I didn't, because I assumed she has a boyfriend. Sure enough, a guy who was clearly her boyfriend came in and talked to her after an hour or so. (Of course he had male model looks.)

This has happened so many times that I'm glad I don't even bother trying to strike up conversations with attractive women. Any woman who is above average in looks and personality is taken.

Searching for an attractive mate is futile, especially if you're not good looking. I'm not sure why torture myself by thinking that I have a chance with sexy, smart women. They just hop from one good-looking guy to the next one.
The majority of good women are taken. I wouldn't even bother approaching them.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 03:43 PM
 
184 posts, read 168,723 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ipaper View Post
some of the most influential men in our society are average looking at best and they have wives or girlfriends.
Influential men are not average by definition. Professional athletes are certainly not average.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 03:47 PM
 
8,779 posts, read 9,472,573 times
Reputation: 9548
Talk about broad strokes...
Define what "attractive" means for the sake of the thread.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 03:47 PM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,781,164 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt View Post
No, you are considered by sexual economists as one of the frictionally untaken. (analagous to the concept of frictional unemployment) People normally do not hop directly from one relationship to the next; there is usually a temporal lapse between relationships.
I am enjoying your posts more and more.
 
Old 02-11-2014, 03:50 PM
 
184 posts, read 168,723 times
Reputation: 159
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I doubt you are really that much more unattractive physically. And attraction isn't all about looks by a long shot. Read phycology articles about what attracts women. Looks *is* in there, but it's not the only or even the top thing.

Maybe this will give you a little hope. You are running into what ever college graduate runs into post-college. It's hard to meet people! Not only dates but friends. It's not "just you" or how you look. In fact, every now and then there are threads about it here.. how hard it is to find someone post-college. Some are started by men, some by women. College (and high school) makes dating easy because you have so many single people, your age, with similar interests, right there living in a small area.

Here's an interesting article on the phenomena (but if you google "finding a date post college" you will get a plethora of articles since it's such a common problem for grads).

Graduates, Here’s What You Need to Know About Dating Post-College | The Date Report

And since you are a guy, this might be more specific to you:

Graduates, Here’s What You Need to Know About Dating Post-College | The Date Report
It's funny. I have a female friend at work that says the same thing. She always goes on and on about how personality matters. Yet, the only guys she dates are tall and good looking. Never varies.

Most women are like this, in my experience. This is why I tell men to take advice from women with a grain of salt. Women say the politically correct thing, but act as I've said.

For women (just like men), the guy has to be very good looking just to get his foot in the door. Then he must have the personality traits the woman wants. This was echoed by a female poster earlier in this thread.
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