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It seems to me that there’s fundamental misunderstanding in this entire thread about the meaning of “attractive”. It’s not the case that men are insatiably hungry for just the extremely physically attractive women, ignoring all others. It’s a tawdry stereotype to assume such things.
A more pressing concern, I think, is to be able to find at least average-looking women. Men would feel deeply wounded and inadequate if it were necessary to “settle” for a woman who is decidedly below-average in appearance. It is not essential that she be beautiful or even cute. What matters is not feeling embarrassed amongst one’s male friends, and not having to backpedal and make excuses that one’s female partner is, in fact, not one’s girlfriend, but some casual associate. The sentiment that the OP seems to describe is that the women who are available for relationships are, as an aggregate, of inferior physical appearance to women at large; that if one takes a random sample of 10 women in a given social setting, and say 6 have partners but the other 4 do not, then of those 6, all will be more or less attractive, and of the other 4, all will be unappealing. This is of course an oversimplification and patently unfair to those four women in our hypothetical sample, but such, I think, is the overarching sentiment. I’m not saying that this is a decent or wise mindset. But I do wish to point out that such mindset is not equivalent to chasing after only the elite in female beauty.
Does this mean I'm unattractive if I'm "untaken"??
No, you are considered by sexual economists as one of the frictionally untaken. (analagous to the concept of frictional unemployment) People normally do not hop directly from one relationship to the next; there is usually a temporal lapse between relationships.
I see myself in the part where it says "she would never go for a guy like me" I always think this or some fashion of this. So approaching women became taboo for me and led me to believe the best thing I could do for women was to keep away from them. Tough thought patterns to break. So yeah, I agree with this post.
I've cold approached many women in my lifetime. You are correct in your assumption. They don't want to meet guys.
Cold approaches generally only work in bars. I have had success during the day at places like grocery stores, but you'll probably have to approach 100+ girls before you find one that is open to meeting you.
Theorem. Let X be the set of all attractive women and let Y be the set of all currently available women. Then XintsctY = ø.
Proof. Life experience.
Today I was at Starbucks reading and saw a girl who works at the front desk at my gym. She always smiles and says bye to me when I leave the gym. I thought about maybe striking up a conversation with her. But I didn't, because I assumed she has a boyfriend. Sure enough, a guy who was clearly her boyfriend came in and talked to her after an hour or so. (Of course he had male model looks.)
This has happened so many times that I'm glad I don't even bother trying to strike up conversations with attractive women. Any woman who is above average in looks and personality is taken.
Searching for an attractive mate is futile, especially if you're not good looking. I'm not sure why torture myself by thinking that I have a chance with sexy, smart women. They just hop from one good-looking guy to the next one.
The majority of good women are taken. I wouldn't even bother approaching them.
No, you are considered by sexual economists as one of the frictionally untaken. (analagous to the concept of frictional unemployment) People normally do not hop directly from one relationship to the next; there is usually a temporal lapse between relationships.
I doubt you are really that much more unattractive physically. And attraction isn't all about looks by a long shot. Read phycology articles about what attracts women. Looks *is* in there, but it's not the only or even the top thing.
Maybe this will give you a little hope. You are running into what ever college graduate runs into post-college. It's hard to meet people! Not only dates but friends. It's not "just you" or how you look. In fact, every now and then there are threads about it here.. how hard it is to find someone post-college. Some are started by men, some by women. College (and high school) makes dating easy because you have so many single people, your age, with similar interests, right there living in a small area.
Here's an interesting article on the phenomena (but if you google "finding a date post college" you will get a plethora of articles since it's such a common problem for grads).
It's funny. I have a female friend at work that says the same thing. She always goes on and on about how personality matters. Yet, the only guys she dates are tall and good looking. Never varies.
Most women are like this, in my experience. This is why I tell men to take advice from women with a grain of salt. Women say the politically correct thing, but act as I've said.
For women (just like men), the guy has to be very good looking just to get his foot in the door. Then he must have the personality traits the woman wants. This was echoed by a female poster earlier in this thread.
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