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Then I'll tell you the same thing that all the men with the same problem get told: you're shooting out of your league. Lower your standards. If you got laughed at, you were shooting WAY out of your league.
Women hold OBJECTIVELY more cards than men. They have 2 options, whereas men have 1.
2 > 1
You do realize that "ugly" or otherwise "undesirable" guys treat women like dirt just like the rest of them, right?
Who has it tougher when it comes to dating? Who knows! What I do know is that a woman dressed up as a man is not going to have the same dating experiences as an actual man.
Or a new one that I have, relevant to his posts: Do you believe that, all things equal, a man and a woman of equivalent extroversion/charm will draw equivalent attention? I'm genuinely curious.
Yes. And no. Zero sum. Studies have been done using male super models. American women are mainly not socialized to receive unsolicited male attention. No matter how hot the guy there has to be some control on the part of the woman or she will reject him. Women eschew being set up by friends, but they also do not trust their own attraction to men on the open market. They accept dates from men that they know or that they have vetted through some amount of contact online or some other method that slows the process down and puts them in control. Women will notice a hot guy, will want him to come over and say something to them... if he does, they will go cold and turn him away. Or they will politely let him run his pick-up program and at the point where they are expected to give him some contact info they will provide false credentials to get him safely out of their hair.
The very, very few times as a young man that I chatted women up cold, I got dead phone numbers for my efforts. We are talking 40 years ago... have women changed at all in that time? I don't know, I'm asking... I do know that were anything to happen to my present cozy situation with respect to ... you know... I now know how incredibly easy it is to find women for whatever you want one for. Whether its NSA, FWB or happily ever after, there's a girl for that. Notice I didn't say Girlz. There aren't going to be TONS of willing and available women for every guy to comb over like sneakers in the Odd Lots bins. There will be one or two for the average guy to work through per cycle. What there will be is TONS of rejection. It's like telemarketing. I think 3% is like an outstanding percentage for a telemarketer. Welcome to the real world.
Yes. And no. Zero sum. Studies have been done using male super models. American women are mainly not socialized to receive unsolicited male attention. No matter how hot the guy there has to be some control on the part of the woman or she will reject him. Women eschew being set up by friends, but they also do not trust their own attraction to men on the open market. They accept dates from men that they know or that they have vetted through some amount of contact online or some other method that slows the process down and puts them in control. Women will notice a hot guy, will want him to come over and say something to them... if he does, they will go cold and turn him away. Or they will politely let him run his pick-up program and at the point where they are expected to give him some contact info they will provide false credentials to get him safely out of their hair.
The very, very few times as a young man that I chatted women up cold, I got dead phone numbers for my efforts. We are talking 40 years ago... have women changed at all in that time? I don't know, I'm asking... I do know that were anything to happen to my present cozy situation with respect to ... you know... I now know how incredibly easy it is to find women for whatever you want one for. Whether its NSA, FWB or happily ever after, there's a girl for that. Notice I didn't say Girlz. There aren't going to be TONS of willing and available women for every guy to comb over like sneakers in the Odd Lots bins. There will be one or two for the average guy to work through per cycle. What there will be is TONS of rejection. It's like telemarketing. I think 3% is like an outstanding percentage for a telemarketer. Welcome to the real world.
I know why you people can't get dates. You don't listen! None of you are listening (reading) what anyone else is actually saying. You get the gist or what you think is the gist and you're off and running with your suppositions and "facts". What a mess. Clearly this is a hot topic... 157 posts in a few hours... yikes... its rude to talk with food in your mouth and/or your fingers in your ears.
All that said... its true. Women do hold much of the power in the dating wars. Not arguable. What that means is something else entirely. I mean... so what. They hold the power, and? Clearly it doesn't stop guys from getting with them... marrying them... dumping them... cheating on them... in most of nature the female is in a passively powerful position. Someone here put it well... hate the game all you want but... what... its not like you are going to succeed without playing by its rules. Unless you don't have to... and if you don't have to... you don't need to worry about it...
H
That's the reason? Because we aren't listening? Most advice given here is actually only effective to the person giving it although they aren't aware of it.
Both genders have difficult areas in dating, just in different ways. I see no reason to get into a "h"issing match over the issue.
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Personally, I think it's silly for anyone to argue otherwise.
Some of the conclusions from the dating portion:
-She admits women have all the power in dating
-and the 30 dates she went on with women, she rarely had any fun and the process was just brutal for her
-MOST Women DON'T want 'sensitive' men, they want powerful/assertive men
-at the very end of the segment, she admits being a woman is more of a privilege than being a man
This was done years ago with a different woman, same results...it is an inarguable fact that men face more challenges in both the dating world and in society...the only difference is that men have allowed themselves to be guilted into believing women have such a tough go of it due to the masterful strategies used to market the victimhood of women and feminists. And truth be told, the role changing experiments these women dont even come close to giving them a full glimpse into being a non-wealthy/middle class - lower class male in America
Both genders have difficult areas in dating, just in different ways. I see no reason to get into a "h"issing match over the issue.
This seems best here. I consider it individual, rather than gender specific.
It's hard for men in that it's expected more, for them to approach women. I can admit that. But for women, even if they sit back and wait, problem is, they may never be asked. And for a woman who waits, or is quiet, she's bound to attract the guys who are predators. A shy woman for an easy score. But then some men get approached as well, and it'll be by women they have no interest in. It can happen for both genders
A person, man or woman, who sits back and waits is limited. It can be said a woman waiting will have more guys come to her, but doesn't mean anything if it's never anyone she likes. Because timid, small, quiet women will be a target for "bad boys" to put simply. And some don't consider that easier in dating. Quality over Quantity for many. So if women get more dates, just means they can have more garbage to filter through.
So I am not saying men have it easier in dating. But to blanketly say women have it easier, just by being women, seems flawed. Some men will have it easier than some women, and vise-verse.
And location can play a part as well. Some locations are not singles friendly, Small rural areas. That's probably where most people move to who are already married, or retired people. Not the best for a booming social life, more often than not. To name an example.
Last edited by HappyRain; 02-20-2015 at 06:57 PM..
This seems best here. I consider it individual, rather than gender specific.
It's hard for men in that it's expected more, for them to approach women. I can admit that. But for women, even if they sit back and wait, problem is, they may never be asked. And for a woman who waits, or is quiet, she's bound to attract the guys who are predators. A shy woman for an easy score. But then some men get approached as well, and it'll be by women they have no interest in. It can happen for both genders
A person, man or woman, who sits back and waits is limited. Man or a woman. It can be said a woman waiting will have more guys come to her, but doesn't mean anything if it's never anyone she likes. Because timid, small, quiet women will be a target for "bad boys" to put simply. And some don't consider that easier in dating. Quality over Quantity for many. So if women get more dates, just means they can have more garbage to filter through.
So I am not saying men have it easier in dating. But to blanketly say women have it easier, just by being women, seems flawed. Some men will have it easier than some women, and vise-verse.
And location can play a part as well. Some locations are not singles friendly, Small rural areas. That's probably where most people move to who are already married, or retired people. Not the best for a booming social life, more often than not. To name an example.
Many of the things in this post are true, but none of them address the posts that you disagreed with. Put another way, I see what you're saying, but I disagree, because 2+2=4.
I did a similar experiment on Tinder where I changed my preference to "Men" and if I were gay I would have slayed it on Tinder!
Men are so easy! Women are a hassle.
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