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I know why you people can't get dates. You don't listen! None of you are listening (reading) what anyone else is actually saying. You get the gist or what you think is the gist and you're off and running with your suppositions and "facts". What a mess. Clearly this is a hot topic... 157 posts in a few hours... yikes... its rude to talk with food in your mouth and/or your fingers in your ears.
All that said... its true. Women do hold much of the power in the dating wars. Not arguable. What that means is something else entirely. I mean... so what. They hold the power, and? Clearly it doesn't stop guys from getting with them... marrying them... dumping them... cheating on them... in most of nature the female is in a passively powerful position. Someone here put it well... hate the game all you want but... what... its not like you are going to succeed without playing by its rules. Unless you don't have to... and if you don't have to... you don't need to worry about it...
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100X to the bold part. Without listening you cannot learn anything new. This almost sounds like a political thread where each person has their own agenda and just want to be right no matter how off base their "facts" are, while completely ignoring any valid counter argument thats made. Let me expand on what you said and sum up this thread with some OBJECTIVE thoughts for those who want to learn.
1. Yes women hold a majority of the power in dating BEFORE they have sex with a man. They will always have an easier time finding dates, getting laid, deciding the pace of the relationship etc. This is especially true for women 18-30. The more attractive they are, they hold exponentially more power. The one time they don't hold the majority of the power is when they are in "puppy love." Basically its when they find a guy they think (for whatever crazy reason) is "the one" before even speaking to him. Fellas those of who have experienced a woman falling for you like that know exactly what I'm talking about.
2. The whole 50% or even 30% of guys being "frozen out" is complete bs. BUT the theory behind it is correct. Let me explain what I mean:
Dating success is just like almost any other activity, it can be easily interpreted though a graph. And just like most other activities, it follows a certain pattern. It follows a bell curve. There are a few exceptionals at the top, a few losers at the bottom and the rest just fall somewhere between good to mildly successful. There are guys that are naturally good at getting women to find them attractive. The reasons behind that is a whole other subject. But let’s say these guys make up 10% of the male population. Now the numbers I'm giving below are made up but the probability relation behind them are going to be accurate.
If someone in the top 10% hits on 30 women a week he gets 15 dates, the next 10% of men gets 8 dates, the next 25% gets 6, the next 25% get 3, the next 20% gets 1 and the bottom 10% gets .5 (meaning 1 date out of asking 60 times). This pattern of success follows almost all human activity whether its income, net worth, IQ, sports or a variety of other competitive human activity.
So to sum it up its not that most guys are frozen out; it’s just that the average guy has to work harder to date women then the exceptional guys. This is the explanation behind why some guys are saying "oh I see most guys dating so it’s not that hard." Your right, MOST GUYS ARE DATING. But most of them have to put in much more effort than the guys at the top. But only the bottom 10% can be classified as frozen out. The others simply have to work harder to achieve the same results as the top 10%.
Real life example:
If someone looks like Brad Pitt (minus the celebrity status), according to the top 10% probability, he will on average land a date after asking just two women. The middle 50% of average guys on the other hand have to ask between 5-10 women before he lands that 1 date. So the truth is that: Most guys aren't frozen out but are much less successful at landing dates then the top. Also our "Brad Pitt" can get "1 date a day" for his whole week just by asking 14 women. Luckly, Mr. Average can do the same. He just has to ask between 35-70 women.
3. In regards to the guy who posted that most guys are sleeping around "equally;" you do realize that in this modern day and age that’s a ridiculous notion? The majority of sex is NOT FOR procreation. There are various forms of protection that are highly effective and are used by many people. So that prevents pregnancy. Even men/women who don't use proper protection use the pull out method which also works and worst case they get a plan b. The amount of sexual partners a man has follows the exact same probability as above. For every woman the average guy sleeps with; the top 10% sleep with 5-10. The reason there is genetic diversity is because who you sleep with and who you have a child with have vastly different criteria’s.
Just because a man in the top 10% may be sleeping with 5-10 women doesn't mean he is a moron trying to impregnate them all. That’s just silly. Sure there are unintentional pregnancies between two people who never intended to have a child together but the majority of pregnancies occur because two people who planned to have a child. Notice I didn't say that they have a child ACCORDING TO PLAN. Because there are a lot of accidental pregnancies. I'm simply saying that most pregancies are between people who eventually planned to have a child.
For example: A couple who are engaged and planned on having a child 6 years from their date of marriage. But they accidently get pregnant before they even get married. You'd be amazed at how many pregnancies are between people who wanted to have a child eventually. So this is why there is so much genetic diversity, not because every guy is sleeping with their "fair share" of women.
Whatever. Its not a matter of just figuring it out. You're a waste of time as well.
I didn't say you were a waste of time. I'm telling you that you are trying to have a conversation with me that I'm not trying to have. You are talking about farming and I'm talking about chocolate. And you are getting upset with me. I'm saying that there's no point competing for who has it the hardest - and you're talking about something completely different.
100X to the bold part. Without listening you cannot learn anything new. This almost sounds like a political thread where each person has their own agenda and just want to be right no matter how off base their "facts" are, while completely ignoring any valid counter argument thats made. Let me expand on what you said and sum up this thread with some OBJECTIVE thoughts for those who want to learn.
1. Yes women hold a majority of the power in dating BEFORE they have sex with a man. They will always have an easier time finding dates, getting laid, deciding the pace of the relationship etc. This is especially true for women 18-30. The more attractive they are, they hold exponentially more power. The one time they don't hold the majority of the power is when they are in "puppy love." Basically its when they find a guy they think (for whatever crazy reason) is "the one" before even speaking to him. Fellas those of who have experienced a woman falling for you like that know exactly what I'm talking about.
2. The whole 50% or even 30% of guys being "frozen out" is complete bs. BUT the theory behind it is correct. Let me explain what I mean:
Dating success is just like almost any other activity, it can be easily interpreted though a graph. And just like most other activities, it follows a certain pattern. It follows a bell curve. There are a few exceptionals at the top, a few losers at the bottom and the rest just fall somewhere between good to mildly successful. There are guys that are naturally good at getting women to find them attractive. The reasons behind that is a whole other subject. But let’s say these guys make up 10% of the male population. Now the numbers I'm giving below are made up but the probability relation behind them are going to be accurate.
If someone in the top 10% hits on 30 women a week he gets 15 dates, the next 10% of men gets 8 dates, the next 25% gets 6, the next 25% get 3, the next 20% gets 1 and the bottom 10% gets .5 (meaning 1 date out of asking 60 times). This pattern of success follows almost all human activity whether its income, net worth, IQ, sports or a variety of other competitive human activity.
So to sum it up its not that most guys are frozen out; it’s just that the average guy has to work harder to date women then the exceptional guys. This is the explanation behind why some guys are saying "oh I see most guys dating so it’s not that hard." Your right, MOST GUYS ARE DATING. But most of them have to put in much more effort than the guys at the top. But only the bottom 10% can be classified as frozen out. The others simply have to work harder to achieve the same results as the top 10%.
Real life example:
If someone looks like Brad Pitt (minus the celebrity status), according to the top 10% probability, he will on average land a date after asking just two women. The middle 50% of average guys on the other hand have to ask between 5-10 women before he lands that 1 date. So the truth is that: Most guys aren't frozen out but are much less successful at landing dates then the top. Also our "Brad Pitt" can get "1 date a day" for his whole week just by asking 14 women. Luckly, Mr. Average can do the same. He just has to ask between 35-70 women.
3. In regards to the guy who posted that most guys are sleeping around "equally;" you do realize that in this modern day and age that’s a ridiculous notion? The majority of sex is NOT FOR procreation. There are various forms of protection that are highly effective and are used by many people. So that prevents pregnancy. Even men/women who don't use proper protection use the pull out method which also works and worst case they get a plan b. The amount of sexual partners a man has follows the exact same probability as above. For every woman the average guy sleeps with; the top 10% sleep with 5-10. The reason there is genetic diversity is because who you sleep with and who you have a child with have vastly different criteria’s.
Just because a man in the top 10% may be sleeping with 5-10 women doesn't mean he is a moron trying to impregnate them all. That’s just silly. Sure there are unintentional pregnancies between two people who never intended to have a child together but the majority of pregnancies occur because two people who planned to have a child. Notice I didn't say that they have a child ACCORDING TO PLAN. Because there are a lot of accidental pregnancies. I'm simply saying that most pregancies are between people who eventually planned to have a child.
For example: A couple who are engaged and planned on having a child 6 years from their date of marriage. But they accidently get pregnant before they even get married. You'd be amazed at how many pregnancies are between people who wanted to have a child eventually. So this is why there is so much genetic diversity, not because every guy is sleeping with their "fair share" of women.
Apparently you haven't been listening either. Many of the posters say they have worked harder and have still gotten nowhere. Its just not as simple as you make it seem.
I didn't say you were a waste of time. I'm telling you that you are trying to have a conversation with me that I'm not trying to have. You are talking about farming and I'm talking about chocolate. And you are getting upset with me. I'm saying that there's no point competing for who has it the hardest - and you're talking about something completely different.
No I picked a portion of your post that i disagreed with. Plain and simple.
Apparently you haven't been listening either. Many of the posters say they have worked harder and have still gotten nowhere. Its just not as simple as you make it seem.
Really? Did you even read what I wrote? Because it seems like you read part of it and then ran to reply without even understanding what I wrote. Mabye they are part of the bottom 10%, you know the ones who I did say were frozen out. And where did I say it was simple? Unless your doing cold approaches, its not easy to approach 10 women in a day just to land one date.
Really? Did you even read what I wrote? Because it seems like you read part of it and then ran to reply without even understanding what I wrote. Mabye they are part of the bottom 10%, you know the ones who I did say were frozen out. And where did I say it was simple? Unless your doing cold approaches, its not easy to approach 10 women in a day just to land one date.
Nope I read the whole thing and fully understood it as well. I disagreed with most men are dating. I also disagree that some men need to work harder than the top 10% you spoke of. If women easily grant their attention to one subset of men what makes them think they are worthy of forcing another subset to work harder to gain what is given freely to the first subset. Makes absolutely no sense to me at all. Its clearly a mind game.
Nope I read the whole thing and fully understood it as well. I disagreed with most men are dating. I also disagree that some men need to work harder than the top 10% you spoke of. If women easily grant their attention to one subset of men what makes them think they are worthy of forcing another subset to work harder to gain what is given freely to the first subset. Makes absolutely no sense to me at all.
Let me ask you a question - do you think that all women get the same attention from all the same men? Do you think that every single woman could date any man that she chooses? Or do you think that there are also subsets of women - say women that get asked out all the time, women that get asked out occasionally, and women that never get asked out?
You disagree that it would be better to spend time trying to make your life better rather than spending time complaining about it?
If it was a matter of just figuring it out the struggling posters here would have figured it out long ago. Making you life better is a good thing but changes nothing relationship wise. 46 years has taught me this.
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Mabye they are part of the bottom 10%, you know the ones who I did say were frozen out. And where did I say it was simple? Unless your doing cold approaches, its not easy to approach 10 women in a day just to land one date.