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Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Well, I'm an outlying case, but I'm 37 and I have not noticed any kind of improvement since age 30.
In fact, this latest heartbreak (over a year ago, now), which seems to have cost me more than one platonic friendship as well, happened after age 30. The friendships were with people who were very important to me. If anything, things seem to be getting worse.
But...like I said...I have a lot of financial and logistical issues and when those things get resolved it will make me feel happier, and may or may not lead to a relationship.
Speaking of which, if anyone is wondering why I'm not at work...the VA removed a cyst from my forehead yesterday. They left the wound open because they said the chances of infection would be greater if they closed it. So I have a 1.7 inch hole in my scalp, about 1/4 inch deep. I have to change the dressing on it at least once a day; I changed it out this morning. There is little pain, unless I move my head the wong way, but I do feel weak. So I'm definitely in no shape to go back to work. The VA said I had to request a week off for this, and I can see why. In my new job as a private security guard, there is a lot of walking, which will aggrevate my open surgical wound; the surgeon said any kind of physical activity could potentially make it bleed more. In fact, on the way back home on the bus, it already bled a little bit, although when I changed the bandage, it turned out there was quite a bit less blood then how it had looked. Some blood had pooled underneath the bandge and leaked out. I called the advise nurse about that; she said some bleeding is normal and if there is too much you can apply pressure to the wound for 10 minutes and it should stop. But she said over the course of the week it should seal up.
But anyway, that's why I'm at home on the PC posting on here, lol. It is costing me some days at work where my rate of pay is already very small ($11.25/hr; min wage in the city of San Jose is 10.15/hr) but it had to be taken out. The surgeon said it was obvious that there were infections there. He said from what he saw, it definitely was a cyst and not cancer, although they are obviously going to run tests. Since I haven't heard anything differently yet I assume the tests were negative for cancer so that's good.
If you keep fit: I'm in the worst shape of my life. Luckily I'm still not fat. Are a decent fellow: Bitter, jaded, a**hole, remember? Have your life together: This is debatable, I guess. I do make good money at a job I've been at for a long time. But really, I'm a drunken, coked-up mess of a man boy, and most in my social circle know as much. Plus, I've become really "accident prone" lately and had some near-death experiences in the last couple of years due to my lifestyle of recklessness and disregard for my own safety.
I like your description here a lot, because, it made me realize why I'm not seeing anything getting better in my 30's: I'm one of the guys getting buried.
Well, that doesn't sound like much of a life to me. But recognizing this is the first step. What you do next is up to you. It's never too late to make some changes.
Well, that doesn't sound like much of a life to me. But recognizing this is the first step. What you do next is up to you. It's never too late to make some changes.
It sucks in the winter, but racing season will start up in a couple of months and then all of this stuff is not so hard to manage anymore.
I'm not alone so much and more people are willing to engage in destructive behavior with me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
Well, that doesn't sound like much of a life to me. But recognizing this is the first step. What you do next is up to you. It's never too late to make some changes.
He's burying himself and then yelling I'm getting buried. He's choosing to.
Just what they say. A F Buddy is (FB) someone who isn't really a friend. It's someone you hang out with just to have sex. Maybe some drinks, then you go bang. When the benefits are over, they cease being someone you talk to or hang out with.
A FWB (friends with benefits) is someone that is really a friend. Even when you're no longer having sex (for whatever reason) you still hang out and do stuff. There is a caring for them. The benefits part is in addition to the friendship and not the basis for it.
It sucks in the winter, but racing season will start up in a couple of months and then all of this stuff is not so hard to manage anymore.
I'm not alone so much and more people are willing to engage in destructive behavior with me.
Well, that sounds even worse, to be honest. But life is full of choices and you are the one that has to live with the choices that you make. It does seem that your choices aren't really choices that are made in attempt to live life - but in an attempt to end it. Might want to think about that.
He's burying himself and then yelling I'm getting buried. He's choosing to.
I'm not some moron, in fact I have been tested as having an extremely high IQ, I scored in the 90th percentile on the SAT when I was in 7th grade....I understand the choices I make.
One thing I won't take responsibility for, however, is feminism and the current climate with regard to gender relations. It blows, but is not my doing.
I never understood the whole "men become more desirable in their 30's" mantra. I'm glad someone was able to expound upon it for me, now I understand it better. A guy in his 30's is better able to stand out from the crowd and distinguish himself from the competition, and while I do make more money than a lot of my peers and am outwardly very stable and good with money, one scratch below the surface and I am a mess in a lot of ways.
Just wanting sex or a one-night stand, a lot of women are going to be against that. If men realized that if they talked to a woman like they want to know her as a person, and treat her like a human being, they'd have a higher chance of her taking them seriously. Real players know this and so do real men.
I'm willing to bet you give off an angry vibe in real life. There is no surer way to turn aside female interest. Just sayin'.
I don't approach females and haven't for years, so female interest is not really on my radar.
Although, at Hooters last night with my racing crew we had to be assigned a different waitress because I pissed ours off so badly. Hahahaha.
EDIT FOR MORE DETAIL: At the time I thought she overreacted but upon further reflection, I was incredibly mean to her for no other reason than she was a very beautiful woman.
But seriously, a lot of the people I associate with IRL think I'm one of the nicest guys they know. One of my clients at work even attempted to set me up with her incredibly-beautiful 26-year-old daughter. I had to decline, telling her that I don't date.
Inevitably, when I take one of these people who knows me only casually or through work, and start hanging out with them, they are appalled at how I am in my personal life with the self-destruction, reckless and dangerous behavior.
Last edited by TheSmuggler; 02-20-2015 at 02:52 PM..
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