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It's not just child support, which is 100% fair. It's also alimony. Take child support, alimony, and the wife's legal bills, and you've cleaned out the poor chump's entire back account. To add insult to the injury, he has no say over how the money is spent, even the child support portion.
Is that what happened to you? Are you an older gentleman? It hasn't been called alimony for YEARS. Decades even. If your papers indicated spousal support I'm sure it would be ingrained in your mind and read over and over. I hate when men just parrot what their buddy said, what happened to the guy down the street, just crap with no facts.
Child support is based on a formula including your income, it's the same for everyone! You aren't forced to pay anything that hasn't been reached by a fair and equitable formula, whether you're a man or a WOMAN.
Is that what happened to you? Are you an older gentleman? It hasn't been called alimony for YEARS. Decades even. If your papers indicated spousal support I'm sure it would be ingrained in your mind and read over and over. I hate when men just parrot what their buddy said, what happened to the guy down the street, just crap with no facts.
You say "to-may-to", I say "to-mah-to", let's call the whole thing off. Whether you call it "alimony" (which is a corruption of "all the money" ) or "spousal support", you still get the same result in the end. It's like using the term "Patriot Act" to refer to government spying and wiretapping to make it look good on paper.
You say "to-may-to", I say "to-mah-to", let's call the whole thing off. Whether you call it "alimony" (which is a corruption of "all the money" ) or "spousal support", you still get the same result in the end. It's like using the term "Patriot Act" to refer to government spying and wiretapping to make it look good on paper.
In no case would I believe that any judge, even a sympathetic one, would grant nearly 50% of anyone's salary as spousal support. Where do you get these gems?
I can't speak for other states but here in CA the child support calculator is based on each parent's income and what amount of time each parent spends parenting their children. I once dated a guy who had his kids 50% of the time and therefore paid no child support - and that is unique because most divorced guys would rather not take that responsibility and just write a check. Children cramp their style once the divorce happens.
Then there's the guys like the one I saw last week, at the grocery store cashing his pay checks and explaining that he can't have a bank account because he has Child Support Services after him for all the money he owes. God forbid that his kids might need to eat, be clothed, and a roof over head. What a prince.
Is that what happened to you? Are you an older gentleman? It hasn't been called alimony for YEARS. Decades even. If your papers indicated spousal support I'm sure it would be ingrained in your mind and read over and over. I hate when men just parrot what their buddy said, what happened to the guy down the street, just crap with no facts.
And even though it's hard to find stats on it, spousal support is awarded in less than 10% of divorce settlements. So the vast majority of people getting divorced are not paying or receiving alimony of any kind.
I like being single. I am going to be brutally honest and this might make some people mad but there is no way I could date a woman who has divorced for a lame reason. Maybe if you got divorced for reasons like he got into an accident or he turned extremely abusive then that's fair.
But many women I have interacted with have given me that "We just wanted different things" excuse. Maybe I am conservative, but to me marriage is a binding commitment that one must go through with deep introspection and clear thoughts, and thorough planning.
If you left a man who wasn't a bad person because you wanted to "find yourself" that means to me, that you're not very mature or able to handle huge commitments.
Short-term, yes if they are going through life changes or improving themselves to be a better person. Long-term, no. I've met people who say they're happy being single but their words and actions tells me differently. Meaning, they either complain about how lonely they are or drink as an escape to avoid dealing with their feelings.
I think single people are less likely to be satisfied overall, but the difference is not as much as you seem to think it is. The fact that someone experiences some loneliness from time to time (and most of us singles do....otherwise why would anyone marry?) doesn't mean they aren't enjoying themselves the rest of the time. I have had plenty of things bother me at some point in my life, anxiety, family issues, academic issues, etc.
But in the vast majority of cases it's one of those things where you'll feel bad for 5 or 10 minutes and then do something else to distract yourself, and you just stop thinking about it even without realizing it. Whatever you're doing, if you keep busy, can be very helpful at putting these thoughts at least back to the "back of your head". In a sense, if you have these emotional moments for a few minutes, even multiple times a day, you can still be enjoying yourself the other 95% or 99% of the time. But the human mind has this really crazy way of making you forget all your unemotional moments while you are having an emotional moment!
In no case would I believe that any judge, even a sympathetic one, would grant nearly 50% of anyone's salary as spousal support. Where do you get these gems?
I'm the one who brought up sympathetic judges and the 50%. The "total" checks going on in the 2 cases I'm familiar with run between 48 to 55% of the primary income earner's net pay, depending on annual work contracts and stipends. I use the words "50%" and "alimony" to simplify my posts.
The actual spousal is around 25%....and again, was based on how sympathetic the judge happened to be, and in the other case- the ability of the check casher to fund a better "actor" for his attorney. Both cases were short term marriages.....and well past the state guidelines for spousal/alimony.
I agree these cases are rare-ish, but my point was: don't dismiss it as "it never happens.."
And even though it's hard to find stats on it, spousal support is awarded in less than 10% of divorce settlements. So the vast majority of people getting divorced are not paying or receiving alimony of any kind.
Yeah, my mother received alimony, but it was only because it was easier than having my father liquidate his assets and the legal fees that would be involved in that.
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) or "spousal support", you still get the same result in the end. It's like using the term "Patriot Act" to refer to government spying and wiretapping to make it look good on paper.
