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My point being even if she did not expect me to pay for stuff if someone likes to travel that is not going to change just because she met me, so either I would be spending alot of time alone or I would have to travel with her, and no woman is gonna want to pay her boyfriends way so I would be going broke trying to keep up.
And I have trouble spending large sums of money on things I have nothing to show for after the money is spent.
For some reason, this made me think of the Total Recall movies, where the main character spent money just for the memories of experiences, without actually experiencing anything. So, not only did they not have anything to show for after spending their money, they didn't even get to have the experience, itself.
Nothing to show for it? Ok, so, you don't value experiences? This makes sense for a dating criteria with a person. I, personally, don't care about stuff much at all. I care about having experiences. That is what I want to spend money on. Putting it into things does nothing for me. It's just stuff. I would want to date someone that values that as well.
I value experiences also, if I'm going to spend large amounts of money I want years of experiences out of the money spent. spent a lot on my bikes they will last for years I have fun riding them every other night.
What if it was because they enjoyed their job and lived a frugal lifestyle?
Somebody who is older and still has not managed to climb up the ladder or doesn't want to shows lack of ambition and lack of motivation.
Both are not very attractive to the other gender. Not many are ok with dating someone who is always broke with no outlook to do better.
They cannot go on vacation with you. They can't go to (nice) restaurants. They always complain because of the bills they have to pay and hardly make it. They will not be able to support you OR THEMSELVES if you or they get sick and out of work, they most likely will never be able to afford a (nice) place, they will have to work until they die while you retire, and they will not ever be able to start a family. They will always drive a crappy car that causes issues or no car at all. So in the end, you always end up paying for them if you don't want to be stuck with them at the bottom because they failed to succeed in life. Not attractive to most people.
Somebody who is older and still has not managed to climb up the ladder or doesn't want to shows lack of ambition and lack of motivation.
Both are not very attractive to the other gender. Not many are ok with dating someone who is always broke with no outlook to do better.
They cannot go on vacation with you. They can't go to nice restaurants. They always complain because of the bills they have to pay. They will not be able to support you OR THEMSELVES if you or they get sick and out of work, they most likely will never be able to afford a (nice) place, they will have to work until they die while you retire, and they will not ever be able to start a family. They will always drive a crappy car that causes issues or no car at all. So in the end, you always end up paying for them if you don't want to be stuck with them at the bottom because they failed to succeed in life. Not attractive to most people.
Hmmmm....not all people who are less than ambitious, fit this description.
I agree that a person should be comfortably meeting ends and supporting themselves at the same lifestyle level that a compatible partner is content living at, though, and I also think that their priorities such as whether they value travel and "experiences" more, or material possessions more, or just don't want to spend and prefer to save up, or what...should be aligned.
A very frugal person and a frivolous spender won't be very happy together.
I've known people who sat comfortably in a barely-above-minimum wage "worker bee" role, and did not WANT to be part of management, and stuck with a company a very long time, and ended up making acceptable money, if not a fortune...and to me, that's fine. They were supporting themselves well enough before I came along, they don't look like they're going to become a burden to me, and they are stable, not job-hoppers. People who have somewhat frequent periods of unemployment, especially if they don't have savings, and/or they have debt...they worry me more than the guy who worked the same boring worker-bee job for 15 years.
Now if a dude was like, "Well I've been working at Burger King for the last 3 months, finally getting caught up on my overdue power bill" yeah, I'm out. No more need be said.
Hmmmm....not all people who are less than ambitious, fit this description.
I agree that a person should be comfortably meeting ends and supporting themselves at the same lifestyle level that a compatible partner is content living at, though, and I also think that their priorities such as whether they value travel and "experiences" more, or material possessions more, or just don't want to spend and prefer to save up, or what...should be aligned.
A very frugal person and a frivolous spender won't be very happy together.
I've known people who sat comfortably in a barely-above-minimum wage "worker bee" role, and did not WANT to be part of management, and stuck with a company a very long time, and ended up making acceptable money, if not a fortune...and to me, that's fine. They were supporting themselves well enough before I came along, they don't look like they're going to become a burden to me, and they are stable, not job-hoppers. People who have somewhat frequent periods of unemployment, especially if they don't have savings, and/or they have debt...they worry me more than the guy who worked the same boring worker-bee job for 15 years.
Now if a dude was like, "Well I've been working at Burger King for the last 3 months, finally getting caught up on my overdue power bill" yeah, I'm out. No more need be said.
I think we misunderstand each other but mean the same
Well, this is the experience I personally made in the past:
Not meeting up because he had no money for gas. Not texting because he couldn't afford a better phone plan. Not being able to meet for dinner because the paycheck was late. Having to get picked up because no money for car repair.
I am not talking about expensive restaurants and expensive trips and material posessions or mangement jobs. I am pretty frugal myself and hardly go to restaurants.
I am talking about people with minimum wage jobs well into their 30s like walmart greeting jobs (like someone else already mentioned), etc. who don't put any effort in to do better.
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