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I think, a little bit, this is changing nowadays. I've talked to at least a couple women who realize from an early age that they don't want the knight in shining armor, and they are more realistic about the men out there. Hopefully women are teaching their daughters some new stuff about the world!
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a knight in shining armor--at least for the initial encounters. Most guys have their knightly moments, if they take the time to polish their armor.
I don't think it's too much to ask of a man; to work out, eat right and keep himself in good and attractive physical shape; to dress well and learn manners/suaveness in order to impress potential mates; to get educated and make himself able to provide for his eventual SO and their eventual family; and to be both courteous and take his SO/family's feelings into account.
Then again, ladies have equal (but not exactly the same) "responsibilities" in order to attract, and then take care of their SO as well.
Maybe men and women don't succeed 100% of the time at all these things all the time, but they should always be trying. Why shouldn't men try to "sweep women off their feet" and women try to be "total knock outs" for those initial encounters, and then every once in a while after the relationship has matured, the hair has been let down, and the armor taken off?
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say: "Oh, well he/she was perfect at first, but then I had to leave him/her when I found out his farts smell like farts instead of roses."
Well the point is that having children is a deal-breaker for a lot of men, at least in america. This was shown by a poll done on a lot of men, that's all I'm saying. Even if a woman with children turns out to be Fabulous, if children is a deal-breaker for you... It's a deal-breaker! Some men with huge beer bellies might turn out to be best in the long run, but I bet if we took a poll of all the women in america, many would say that a guy with the pregnant-look would be a deal-breaker for them.
I just wanted to say, congrats for not having kids, because it gives you wayyyy more options when it comes to guys. I'm sure there is some guy who is thinking "Hey now! I PREFER women who have kids from previous relationships!" Ok, guy. I see you waving back there in the audience. But a majority do not.
I'd always assumed you had kids sierra, but this changes my views a little bit on you now. You're one of the few women on here who speaks from the point of being unmarried, without kids, yet over the age of 30. What do you do with all your free time???
I'm not on a prowl for men, but thank you for your sincere concern, hon'!
I've paid my respects to the institution of marriage more than enough, so now I've taken a sabbatical from men and entertain myself by dissecting relationships and providing the little wisdom acquired in the school of hard knocks to the youngsters free of charge.
Btw, when you look for something, you tend to settle for the wrong stuff. Same as shopping. I almost never "look" for anything. When I see something I like and can use, I buy it. On the rare occasions I've looked for some item in particular, I've always bought something I don't love.
Oh, yeah, and being a smoker in this country saves me from myself ... a bit...
Your highness. First let me say. You probably are very needy and perfectionistic.
The guy probably picked up on your overly needy and bossy vibes and decided against it. Or maybe he forgot or doesn't date too much and or doesn't hang out with women therefore is ignorant or inexperienced. If you liked him and he was a cool guy you would have hinted at it or requested it in a kind and flirty way. People also are not mind readers. They don't know how much you value being walked back to your car. I personally wouldn't care to walk you to your car unless you requested it.
I would never reject any guy for such a petty reason. Please get over yourself, your highness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn07
Is chivalry dead?
I went out with a guy last night who I don't want to see again but he didn't even have the decentcy to walk me to my car. Why are guys like this?
I swear most guys that I've gone out with haven't walked me to my car.
I think that is so rude. I just would think any guy who was raised right should walk you to your car whether he likes you or not, just by being a gentlemen.
Hey
I'm one of the few men that doesn't just want some. But I agree a lot of men are so immature and obsessed with sex. I think it is because they didn't have a strict and present father figure (like I did)...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn07
That sucks that since girls use to treat him badly he decided to start treating girls badly. Who doesn't like looks but looks aren't everything. If someone isnt beautiful no one wants anything to do with them and they are considered worthless in this society- that is so wrong.
I've never been one who was okay with the idea of "friends with benefits"- that is the problem with this world, so many guys are that way and only care about getting some.
We women mature alot faster than men- that is why your wife is alot more mature than your brother.
makes sense. but i like the idea of being "equals" better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiaroscuro
I still do those things, and it's 50/50. Some women say 'thank you' and smile, other women will for example go through the door I didn't open, or they will make sure they open their car door before I could walk there, etc. A girl at work tried to give me crap about the chivalry thing, and then the other day she wanted me to lift a bag that was about 75lbs. I said no, do it yourself. I felt bad, because I was raised differently, but it really is true what the above posters said. You can't have it both ways. Either you are a lady, and your 'gentleman' should maintain a level of effort that is one notch above yours (lifting things, opening doors, letting you sit first, etc.) or he should treat you just like he would another man, and let you carry an equal amount of the work and effort. Sometimes it's too hard to tell just from looking at a woman, how she will react. Eventually I'm just gonna say f*** it, it's not worth it. I think chivalry is close to death, there is no way it'll ever come back, in this country anyway.
Hi
It sounds like you are into equality.
I like that idea actually.
Seriously women have more of a lesbian mentality these days. So I can understand your difficulties. You can also be sympathetic here and understand that a lot of women have been through child abuse, especially abuse that is sexual in nature. That is one reason why so many are not trusting,are suspicious, and rejecting of men. (I'm just guessing) Somebody fill me in on that!
As a gay man I'm surprised at how many times women brush me off before knowing I'm gay (No I do not wear pink clothing covered in glitter and gay pride buttons).
Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk
Like I said, it's not that I WANT a damsel in distress. The opposite: when the you-know-what hits the fan, I want a woman who can hold her own just as well, if not more so, than I can. Showing respect is allot different from saying "you can't take care of yourself", which is something the hairy feminazis need to realize...AND 99% OF THEM ARE LESBIANS ANYWAY, SO WHY THE HELL DO THEY CARE ABOUT A MAN OPENING A DOOR FOR A LADY?
Well I'm a big believer in common courtesy and not specifically chivalry so much. I don't believe that there is a particular set of rules that men should follow and women should expect or be ungracious whenever it is offered or not offered them.
To me courtesy is like a little gift that someone may bestow upon you if they're able simply because they're a good person on a good day. When they don't I don't immediately jump to the conclusion that they're bad or not raised right but instead think perhaps they're having a bad day and are preoccupied with their troubles.
Either way courtesy, like love, is catching so I find the more courteous you are, and gracious in accepting courtesy, the more courtesy you recieve.
Maybe give it a try? It works for me.
I wasn't rude or mean to the guy. I'm nice to everyone.
All I ask for is kindness and respect. I don't think that is asking for to much.
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of marriage more than enough, so now I've taken a sabbatical from men and entertain myself by dissecting relationships and providing the little wisdom acquired in the school of hard knocks to the youngsters free of charge.
