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Old 04-21-2010, 11:12 PM
 
Location: CT
207 posts, read 383,124 times
Reputation: 105

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[quote=jacktravern;13846662]For one, maybe being 22 and married wasnt such a hot idea did u ever think of that? To me a 22 year that lives on her own is probably more stressed out than she should be anyway.


When do you suggest someone move out on their own? 30? There is nothing abnormal about being self sufficient at 22 years old. Off the subject I know but I just didn't get the logic here.
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Old 04-22-2010, 12:20 AM
 
Location: Where the sun always shines
1,866 posts, read 2,417,288 times
Reputation: 3376
[quote=fbam;13847181]
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacktravern View Post
For one, maybe being 22 and married wasnt such a hot idea did u ever think of that? To me a 22 year that lives on her own is probably more stressed out than she should be anyway.


When do you suggest someone move out on their own? 30? There is nothing abnormal about being self sufficient at 22 years old. Off the subject I know but I just didn't get the logic here.
If u start working straight out of HS, then yeah, by 21, 22 u need to be up and out of the house. I'm thinking more along the lines of a college grad who goes to school from 4 to 5 years then takes a couple of years to get their career situation in order and maybe pay off some loans for a couple of years. 30 is a stretch but in that scenario, 25, 26 is understandable.
With the op, she seemed to take the route of moving in w/ someone to make ends meet and now complaining b/c she was forced to follow him to another state. If that wa sher choice, my point was u made your bed so no sleep in it and don't complain about it.

And as far as how fast the wheels turn in Florida, ughhh, sorry but Ive heard too many representatives of Florida speak to give it credibility for not being a slow place. Listen to any interview from Emmitt Smith, Michael irvin, Deion Sanders or Kimbo Slice. That place is deep country. sorry, jsut callin it like I see it.
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Old 04-22-2010, 12:55 AM
 
141 posts, read 144,371 times
Reputation: 113
You got married so early... omg
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Old 04-22-2010, 05:28 AM
 
108 posts, read 234,324 times
Reputation: 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacktravern View Post
For one, maybe being 22 and married wasnt such a hot idea did u ever think of that? To me a 22 year that lives on her own is probably more stressed out than she should be anyway.

Also, ur no longer in the south, your in the Northeast where the wheels spin a little faster. College degrees are valued a bit more than all of the skills you may have acquired in your many years of working. Its not too late, get ur butt back in school or you'll make 8 pr/hr for years to come.

Jack, that was a VERY rude comment.

You can't help when you meet the love of your life. It can be age 21, or age 40. Also, in my line of work I am trying to help people with education beyond their masters get a job. She just said she left an $13.00 an hour job in Florida where the living is MUCH cheaper than here! In Texas I left because I could not find a job...I have my masters, so it is NOT all about education.

It is just difficult,PERIOD, to meet new people and make lasting friendships. I lived in Austin for a couple of years before I met TRUE BLUE friends that were more than just bar hopping buddies. Even then it was through work and school.

I agree with Jay, meetup.com would be a great way to make friends. CT is so compact that you can drive 30 minutes to another town to see a friend whereas in Florida you would drive 30 minutes to see a friend in the same city. Although people seem to think New Haven is the happening place to be, many areas in NH are also very dangerous. To be honest, I would prefer to be in a nice, quiet, safe town and just drive a little ways to do "fun" stuff.
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Old 04-22-2010, 05:45 AM
 
Location: Vermont
83 posts, read 235,223 times
Reputation: 99
Quote:
Originally Posted by caraibenah View Post
I'm 22, married and recently moved from FL to CT because my husband is a true new englander at heart and wanted me to experience the change of scenery.So far, I have nothing good to say about CT ,just that it's very pretty with the 4 seasons. I'm very HOMESICK and I'm not sure it's a good move for me even though it's been only 4 months.
I have ZERO social life as it's very hard to find people my age around here! Even though I'm young agewise, I'm very mature and find that girls my age still live with their parents and talk only about clubbing and boyfriends. Where are all the young couples who want to travel, double date, discussing the future? Not also to mention that I'm now working part time as an hostess for $8.00 an hour compared to my full time $13 an hour as an administrative assistant in Florida . My jobs' experiences and education don't seem to help me at landing a good job here. I feel there's NOTHING there for me but EVERYTHING for my husband.
He's been taking care of all the bills since my paycheks are to lbe laughed at and he's been recently promoted and will be making a few dollars extra. I feel guilty when I talk about how depressed I am as things are going well for him, but then again it's not that I liked my Florida job so I can't complain much. I just miss a good paying job and my social life, when I'm not working, studying , looking up for jobs or doing house duties, I'm home in front of the TV doing nothing! So please where can I find 20 something engaged or married couples.

PS: I live in Enfield
Just be patient, give it some time, cara...It might be you're experiencing a little culture shock, not sure. But rest assured, you'll land a job one day that will pay more than one in Fla., that's a fact. And Enfield is a flat out excellent area to be in, given the close distance to Springfield, Mass. for work, as well as greater Hartford, Ct. You're in a bee hive whether you know it or not.
Todays society has molded a different breed of younger generation in general, so it's a matter of doing some networking to find some level headed individuals your age group to hang with, that's all.
No denying you're in a melting pot for that; whether you like tattoo'd from head to toe people, to mud slinging rednecks...you're right there among all that.
Good luck, keep your chin up, stay away from the TV, do your homework gal, it's all right there.
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Old 04-22-2010, 06:17 AM
 
Location: New England
8,155 posts, read 18,203,970 times
Reputation: 3279
Quote:
Originally Posted by caraibenah View Post
I'm 22, married and recently moved from FL to CT because my husband is a true new englander at heart and wanted me to experience the change of scenery.So far, I have nothing good to say about CT ,just that it's very pretty with the 4 seasons. I'm very HOMESICK and I'm not sure it's a good move for me even though it's been only 4 months.
I have ZERO social life as it's very hard to find people my age around here! Even though I'm young agewise, I'm very mature and find that girls my age still live with their parents and talk only about clubbing and boyfriends. Where are all the young couples who want to travel, double date, discussing the future? Not also to mention that I'm now working part time as an hostess for $8.00 an hour compared to my full time $13 an hour as an administrative assistant in Florida . My jobs' experiences and education don't seem to help me at landing a good job here. I feel there's NOTHING there for me but EVERYTHING for my husband.
He's been taking care of all the bills since my paycheks are to lbe laughed at and he's been recently promoted and will be making a few dollars extra. I feel guilty when I talk about how depressed I am as things are going well for him, but then again it's not that I liked my Florida job so I can't complain much. I just miss a good paying job and my social life, when I'm not working, studying , looking up for jobs or doing house duties, I'm home in front of the TV doing nothing! So please where can I find 20 something engaged or married couples.

PS: I live in Enfield
Cookie, (As Dr. Joy Brown would say. ) you're homesick. Period. I understand, I've been there myself. I moved to Orlando at the ripe age of 20 without knowing a soul.

You've gotten a lot of good advice on the board, take some of it and run.

It's times like this that mold us into better stronger people. I would never want to live in Orlando again, but I would never trade the experience of being completly uprooted and replanted. You have a choice right now. Blame everything around you and be a victom or find yourself and who you are and be a survivor and come out stronger, smarter and better off.

CT has a LOT to offer if you take advantage of it. I would suggest getting involved with things in the community. #1. Get your rear back to school and finish that degree - even if it takes you another 5 years. Do it. You might find some connections there alone.

What are your hobbies? There are lots of "groups" here such as Dog Owners Clubs, Cycling Clubs, political groups, and yes, churches which are a great way to meet others. Many churches have "20 something" groups and it's where you'll most likely find younger people married instead of shacked up or clubbing.

Just some thoughts. Hang in there, you'll find the pearl once you crack open the oyster.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fbam View Post
Wow- Noodles and Jacktravern are really sensitive and understanding. I was just thinking to myself I haven't met any of the rude people the northeast is so famous for yet but I spoke too soon.
Just FYI, I'm pretty sure Noodles is from Florida and Jacktravern doesn't live in CT as well.

If you want a dose of "Northeast rudness" the best places to find them IMHO are Boston. Take a trip and pee some people off and watch it fly.

I get a kick out of it now because I've realized the loudest most brash people are generally the most insecure and weak. It's the quiet guy with ink just peaking through in spots and a shaved head you need to watch out for.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LowboyTZ View Post
Just be patient, give it some time, cara...It might be you're experiencing a little culture shock, not sure. But rest assured, you'll land a job one day that will pay more than one in Fla., that's a fact. And Enfield is a flat out excellent area to be in, given the close distance to Springfield, Mass. for work, as well as greater Hartford, Ct. You're in a bee hive whether you know it or not.
Todays society has molded a different breed of younger generation in general, so it's a matter of doing some networking to find some level headed individuals your age group to hang with, that's all.
No denying you're in a melting pot for that; whether you like tattoo'd from head to toe people, to mud slinging rednecks...you're right there among all that.
Good luck, keep your chin up, stay away from the TV, do your homework gal, it's all right there.
Good post - reps for you!
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Old 04-22-2010, 06:34 AM
 
179 posts, read 349,375 times
Reputation: 239
You mentioned community college. I think that would be a fantastic place to make connections, and work on your education at the same time. Community colleges tend to have an interesting mix of people, and you often end up in study groups and really get to make some good friends. Please consider this if it's an option for you financially, and give it a fair chance. You could take just one course at a time, not a huge commitment. Good luck!
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Old 04-22-2010, 07:00 AM
 
25 posts, read 43,296 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacktravern View Post

And as far as how fast the wheels turn in Florida, ughhh, sorry but Ive heard too many representatives of Florida speak to give it credibility for not being a slow place. Listen to any interview from Emmitt Smith, Michael irvin, Deion Sanders or Kimbo Slice. That place is deep country. sorry, jsut callin it like I see it.


List of people from Florida - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 04-22-2010, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Fairfield
588 posts, read 1,627,388 times
Reputation: 275
First, welcome to CT. Second, sorry that your first post on this board is greeted by several idiots. Ignore the morons - they are just looking to pick a fight since they have nothing better to do.

Being young and married will definitely make it more difficult to meet people your own age, especially if you aren't into the same things they are. Many people in the area aren't getting married until late 20's or later. However, I've found that just by walking around the neighborhood, especially on weekends, you will start to meet people. My wife and I are in our 30's, but have become very friendly with some neighbors who are more than 10 yrs older... don't let age be a barrier. A lot of times, all it takes is a friendly smile. And having a dog won't hurt - for some reason people like to stop and talk when you have a friendly dog. Same thing with babies, but you might be a little young for that... Keep trying, and as the others have said, try to find some active groups that meet up. Book clubs, gyms, runner groups, sports teams (co-ed softball is usually a good place to meet up with new people - it seems to popular in most towns). Your town itself also may have a recreation department that organizes these types of things. The point is, if you want something to change you have to find it and make it happen. Sitting in front of the TV will get you nowhere. And don't waste a huge amount of time on job websites - they help to a point, but there are thousands of others just pushing resumes out as fast as they can. Find something to differentiate yourself.

As for your job prospects, it's tough out there for everyone. Unfortunately there are a lot of well seasoned professionals that are out of work, and they are taking up the admin assistant jobs like you had just to get work. Figure out some sort of career that you'd want, take a few classes (some schools have good placement services), then volunteer as an intern or offer yourself as an independent contractor... both good ways to get your foot in the door. If you want to continue as an admin assistant, take some computer classes. Advanced knowledge of Office and solid computer skills are key. Also, reach out to placement firms and recruiters - both are sometimes the only way in to certain companies. And if you're a hostess at a busy place, take a minute here or there and start chatting with your regulars. Even if they can't directly help, they might know of someone who can.

Again, welcome to CT. And stay positive - people can smell a negative attitude and will steer clear of it.
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Old 04-22-2010, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Wethersfield, CT
1,268 posts, read 3,638,502 times
Reputation: 886
I understand what you're going through. You have to be a little more open minded and give it some time.

I moved to Western MA from CT a year ago and feel the same way. I also work in Windsor.

Try getting involved in social activities. Holyoke has paddling classes you can take. It's not much, but it gets you out and socializing. Hartford's Riverfront also has them. How about joining a gym? I've done that and it's been great for me.

Downtown Hartford has some clubs and restaurants, but you're also close enough to Northampton, MA, which is a really neat place - very artsy, tons of restaurants and culture, etc.
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